Paraíso Perdido
by TribalVipe
Summary: A vacation cruise to Mexico is exactly what the doctor ordered. A full week of fun in the sun, a foreign land, and spending time with the one's you love the most. Nothing could wrong...right?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I started another fic. Sorry not. This is kind of like Don't Look Behind You, but with a different, not so completely creepy twist and definitely not around snow. This story will jump back and forth between different perspectives, as well! I hope you guys like this idea that I couldn't pass up on writing. I don't own SVU or its characters. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Saturday – 10:45 a.m.**

"Hello, LA!"

Rafael was almost positive that if he rolled his eyes any harder the next time something stupid came flying out of Carisi's mouth, they would end up rolling right out of their sockets. He was shocked they hadn't already, because this had to be at least the thirtieth time since this morning that he'd done it. Dealing with the chipper detective through long lines at LaGuardia and then a four-hour flight to LAX…he was thankful Liv had gotten the seat next to his and Amanda took the brunt of taller man's annoying disposition.

"Remind me again why we took him?"

Rafael snorted at Rita, who walked next to him in what had to be the most casual clothes he's ever seen her in. Jeans, a t-shirt tucked in that very obviously didn't belong to her (rather it belonged to her boyfriend), and tennis shoes. She looked relaxed and ready to start this vacation, along with Fin, who had opted to brave the cold in New York with some shorts and flip flops, knowing they were going to wind up in hot and sunny weather when they stepped off the plane.

"We kind of had to," Liv cut in, appearing next to Rafael with Noah shuffling next to her. The little boy took his hand immediately, making him smile. "Otherwise we'd all feel bad and wouldn't be able to enjoy this cruise."

"Plus, he would be blowing all of our phones up and asking us to bring back souvenirs."

Carisi glanced behind them, seeing that Amanda, who had Jesse on her hip, had fallen back with the and heard what she said. He scoffed, "I can hear you guys."

"So?" Rafael chuckled at Fin's quick retort, effectively shutting the younger man up. Despite the annoyed look on he had on his face since Liv's Uber had picked him up that morning, he was feeling pleasantly content being away from the city and looking forward to a week-long Mexico cruise with white, sandy beaches and plenty of sun. He'd been craving a dip in the ocean and an exotic, fruity drink he would only indulge in in a foreign country.

However, getting to this point of contentment had involved Liv dragging him, kicking and screaming. He remembered back to when she first called him, and suggested the idea, flat out telling her no before she could even give him the full details.

* * *

" _Rafa, you didn't even let me finish!"_

" _That's because I know where this is going and the answer is no. I'm way too busy with work- "_

" _You're always too busy with work and you already have vacation time racked up at the firm, you told me yourself."_

 _Rafael wanted to stomp his foot for opening his mouth and telling her such things. He should have known it would have come back to bite him in the ass in some way. It always did. However, he was slightly glad he wasn't working for the D.A.'s office anymore, otherwise she probably would have talked McCoy into forcing him on a vacation whether he wanted to or not._

" _It's short notice."_

" _It's a month from now."_

 _He sighed heavily, "Liv…"_

" _Rafa. C'mon, it'll be fun. It's been two months since you've resigned and…we hardly get to see each other anymore and I know you're working yourself to the bone…I think a vacation would be good for you. It would be better for me if you came along, too."_

 _He bit his lip, hearing the pleading tone in her voice and his decision start to sway. They really hadn't had that much time together since he left. She was busy with victims and cases and he was busy with his new job, working immigration at one of the top firms in the city. They'd been able to meet up a few times, but nothing like it had been before. Plus, thinks were slightly awkward between them, not knowing where their relationship stood. That had probably been the hardest part about this whole adjustment. The not knowing. Screw everything else._

" _Beaches, alcohol, good company…," she teased, voice playful. She sounded so full of hope and he knew she was pouting, even without seeing her. He wished he could._

" _What do you say?"_

 _He groaned, decision already being made without any more serious thought. He really couldn't pass up some time with one of his favorite people. "Alright. Fine. But, you're getting me drunk the first night we get on board."_

" _Yes!" He smiled at her excited exclamation, "Where is this cruise anyway? Noah's going, right? Oh man, is it a Disney cruise? Please tell me I didn't just agree to subject myself to endless sing-a-long's and kids shows, did I?"_

" _Yes_ _and no. No Disney cruise but we're headed to Mexico."_

 _He sighed, happy he managed to dodge that bullet. He was looking forward to spending time with Noah, who would no doubt be an excited bundle of energy the entire time, but he was also looking forward to spending time with Liv, alone. It would give them the chance to work through whatever they needed to to get back to how it was before...or possibly move forward and onto something better, which was what he truly wanted.  
_

 _"Ok. Good. Glad to heart it."_

 _"Oh, and one more thing."_

 _"That is?"_

" _T_ _he rest of the squad is coming along and all of our rooms are right next to each other. But, I have to get back to work now, so I'll let you go, call you later, bye!"_

 _Rafael stood in his office, mouth hanging open and listened to the dial tone ringing loudly in his ear. He'd just been suckered into a week-long cruise with the rest of her squad…_

 _He suddenly wished it was Disney cruise now…_

* * *

When they hit the sidewalk, they immediately shuffled into a shuttle bus that ran from the airport to the port where their ship was taking off from. Amanda and Carisi, the ultimate planners of this big family trip, made sure they weren't waiting hours upon hours just so they could board the ship and, instead, gave them little less than an hour to wait before they started boarding passengers.

They all sat cramped in the back of the bus, the heat sweltering against the leather seats, but Rafael didn't mind it in the least. Liv had been quickly shoved herself in the seat next to his, knowing he wasn't about to tolerate being pressed up a random stranger, or worse, one of her detectives. He was glad she knew him well enough to make sure that wouldn't happen.

"Glad you came?"

He snorted and shook his head, snatching the sunglasses he grabbed out of his bag before they left the plane and slid them on his face. Liv smiled at him, brown eyes taking in every inch of his somewhat tense expression with great detail. "I guess. We'll see once we're on the boat and I've had four drinks before we've left the port."

She rolled her eyes dramatically, "A week with you…what was I thinking?" She glanced behind their seat, seeing Noah and Jesse giggling at the tablet Liv grabbed out of her bag in order to keep them preoccupied throughout the ride to the ship.

He reached out and playfully pinched her thigh, that was pressed up against his in the small seat. He would admit he kind of liked having her pressed against him like that…but he quickly slid away from those dangerous thoughts. No need to head in that direction. Not until they could be alone and have their talk.

That was one of the many stipulations he'd had when she called him later the day, giving him ample time to think about ground rules.

* * *

" _I will not. WILL NOT. Room with Carisi. I'd rather French kiss a pig than listen to him talk about Italian food and his nieces."_

" _He's already decided to share with Amanda, so you can room with me."_

 _That wasn't a bad idea at all, not in his book. Of course, maybe he would regret it once they were actually there, but for now, he could live with it. "I also expect to get ample time by the pool and on the beach, so I don't anyone trying to drag me across the tourist destinations unless I want to, got it?"_

" _Yes, sir," she said sarcastically. She probably mock saluted too, just for the hell of it._

" _Also…," he trailed reluctantly. He cleared his throat, tone growing more serious, "At some point, I'd like for us to talk about things. Us. I know I kind of left things up in the air and confused you and I'm sorry for that…I just feel like we both still have things to say…"_

" _I know I do," she responded, "I've been wanting to talk, too. Get things off my chest. We can definitely do that. I think it's long overdue."_

" _Good. I'm glad."_

* * *

"I think I've been a perfect angel this entire time."

"Shockingly enough. No one's gotten their head ripped off yet and you're not glaring at anyone…man, who are you and what have you done with my Rafa?"

He ignored the spiral of butterflies in his stomach at her words and threw her a playfully annoyed glance, "I'm his angelic twin brother. We traded spots so he didn't have to deal with all of you people."

"Angelic, eh? I wouldn't say that."

He just chuckled and leaned back, enjoying listening to her talk about how much she was already missing Noah, and how she couldn't wait to get him on Face Time as soon as the boarded. He was also enjoying the sight of the beach coming into view. He'd never been out to LA, although he didn't think he would like it very much. New York City had his heart, with its crowded streets and rude inhabitants, but it was going to be nice to take a break from it all and get some sun. He hadn't had a vacation in a long while, just the rest of his "friends", and he even though most of them got on his nerves, he wasn't going to waste it by being grumpy and uncooperative.

"So, I'm thinking we check out the buffet first thing. I'm starving and I hear its Las Vegas quality. Like, I can get a cannoli on the same plate as fried rice and tamales. How awesome is that?"

"Why the hell would you pair a cannoli with fried rice?" Rita shot him a confused look from her seat next to his and Amanda, also sending the same questioning glance to the blonde, who was too busy reading through the cruise ship pamphlet in her hand.

"What?" Carisi looked genuinely confused as to why she would be asking that question. "Sweet and savory? Dessert and lunch at the same time? This is a vacation, we're supposed to eat like we haven't seen food in years."

Rita shook her head at Fin and mumbled something under her breath that made him laugh.

"Please tell me it's not going to be like this the entire time with you two," Liv groaned next to him, "Because I'll ship myself back to New York and spend the week soaking in my bathtub. I'd rather do that then listen to you go back and forth."

"No, you're not," Amanda looked up finally, "You're not leaving me with all of these crazies. You're the sane one."

Fin scoffed, "I'm offended Rollins. Out of everyone, I'm the most chill." Rita snorted and rolled her eyes, bringing her nails up to inspect them so she didn't catch the look her boyfriend sent her.

"Out of everyone right now, Rafa is the most chill surprisingly," Liv gestured to him and he bit back a small smirk, keeping his eyes glued to the ship coming into view. The window by his seat was cracked, and he could hear the seagulls flying over the beach and smell the salty air mingled with greasy food and car fumes. It was the exact vision he had for this overcrowded city. It was a definite change in scenery, but he couldn't wait until they got on the boat and out to sea.

"I'll be even more chill when I get to the bar."

Liv placed her hand on his and shook it a little, giggling at him. She didn't move it for the entirety of their shuttle ride there. He didn't mind in the least, either.

Once they made it through the heinously long process of checking in their luggage, getting on the ship and then going through the trouble of finding their rooms, all lined up back-to-back, Rafael was truly relaxed. Even on this tiny twin size bed that was exceptionally close to Liv's and wasn't exactly the most comfortable. Not compared to his king size bed. He cradled his head in his hands and closed his eyes, listening to the low hum of the ship and the quiet murmur of the small, mounted television in their cabin. Liv had turned it on while she tutted around, unpacking a few clothes and a swim suit she intended on changing into.

Almost immediately, Liv, Rita, and Amanda decided that checking out the large pool deck was the first thing on their list to do. Never mind the buffet or checking out the casino or the bars and spa. The hot weather warranted a dip in the cool, refreshing water, so that's what they decided on doing. The kids were going to join them, and Noah had already disappeared over into Amanda and Carisi's cabin with Jesse, no doubt talking excitedly about the playroom they passed on the way to their rooms.

"You sure you don't want to join? You can order drinks by the pool, too."

He cracked open one eye to see her standing, barefoot, in the doorway to their small bathroom. She was wearing a pair of jean shorts and a tank top, the straps of her bright blue swim top peeking out through the white top. She had sunglasses up in her hair that was pulled up and away from her face and a beaming smile on her face, looking truly relaxed.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and willed himself to speak, "Uh, no. No. Maybe in a bit. I'm starving. Carisi talking about that damn buffet all the way from the airport worked up an appetite."

Liv laughed and deposited her neatly folded clothes into one drawer of the small dresser under the television and stepped over to her bed. They sat so close together her knees nearly touched his bedspread. He turned his head to look at her, smiling back.

"I'm glad you came. I really am. I know we've had a rough few months…with everything happening and us not talking that much. I've missed you, a lot."

Rafael sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed, his legs wide enough her knees fit in the space between his. He was very aware of how close they sat, but Liv didn't look the slightest bit tense or uncomfortable with it, and that gave him enough courage to reach out and grab her hands in his.

"I've missed you, too. I'm glad you asked me to come, as well."

"More like begged you."

He chuckled, "True. But I'm glad I listened. I think this is something that's going to be good for us. All of us, actually."

She squeezed his hands, thumbs running over his fingers, "We'll have that talk later, ok? Maybe after dinner? We can find someplace quiet?"

"Definitely," he said softly, enjoying the closeness. They gazed into each other's eyes for a few moments before a knock at the door and Amanda's voice, along with Noah's loud 'Mommy!' on the other side broke their spell. Liv leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Get those swim trunks on. I expect to see your ass on a floatie in the pool in an hour."

Rafael chuckled and let go of her hands reluctantly, heart hammering in his chest with the feeling of her lips on his check still lingering. He watched as she grabbed a towel, her bag, and a bottle of water. She winked over her shoulder before she left the room, leaving him to flop back against his mattress, feeling a weight lifting off his shoulders that had been there since that day outside of the court house.

He had no more doubt lingering about that talk they were going to have, like he had that morning when she picked him up at his apartment.

* * *

" _You had your three cups of coffee this morning, right?" He slid into her car easily, trying his best to be quiet when he closed the door, since Noah was passed out in the back. He didn't need to wake up until they were at the airport.  
_

 _Rafael nodded and ran a hand through his hair, trying to tame the product less locks into submission. It wasn't working but he was beyond the point of caring that much. He had slept like crap and it was far too early in the morning, and he was wearing jeans and a hoodie that wasn't doing much to keep him warm, but that wasn't the point. They were going to be in LA in a few hours where the heat was a record high for this time of year and he wasn't about to go through the hassle of bringing a winter coat and carrying it around._

" _Good. I bought you another one."_

 _He cracked a tired smile and took the latte from her hand, sipping it and glancing at her gratefully. "You spoil me, Liv."_

" _I don't want my head to get chewed off by sleepy Barba. You're a real dick when you're exhausted."_

" _That I am," he snorted and the car descended into silence. The sun was coming up and the traffic was going to start picking up soon. It was a Saturday, so that meant the airport was probably going to be slammed by the time they got there. But, his mind was too preoccupied with other things to worry about that. He would take standing in line at the airport for an hour over the thoughts swirling around in his head._

 _Part of the reason he couldn't sleep last night was the utter worry he had regarding the woman driving. There was a slight strain between them, raised by him and his actions alone. Not because of the case or what he did, but because of the way he left and uttered those words to her. It was nearly an admission of love, but he told her he had to move on and left it there hanging between them. They didn't talk for a week after, but had finally began to again after that period of time. They barely had time to get together now, but it was still made possible at least once a week._

 _But beside all that, there was that talk that he told her he wanted to have. When the words had slipped out of his mouth, he wondered what plan his subconscious had concocted without his knowledge. He was ready to face the music, but telling his best friend he was in love with her? On a cruise ship? In the middle of the ocean? She had readily agreed and trapped him into it, causing it to be the one thing he contemplated the most over the month long wait for this trip. He tried speech after speech, trying to come up with the words necessary to convey his feelings for her. Every single one ended up with him jumping off the side of the ship and into the ocean so he didn't have to face the rejection._

 _Had this trip happened a few months before, he was almost confident his admission would end in them riding off into the sunset together. Now? He wasn't even sure she would be able to face him after he told her. And even with that knowledge, he still had to tell her. No matter the outcome, he had to tell her, because it was beginning to eat him alive._

 _When they got together for dinner at her place or Forlini's, and discussed their days and talked about Noah or her detectives or even Stone, he could only really think about how much he missed her and needed her and how beautiful she was and how much he loved her and her son. He wanted to say all of those things and lean over the table and kiss her each time, but he couldn't ever bring himself to open his mouth about it._

 _This trip…was going to change that. For better or for worse._

* * *

With that kiss on the cheek and the wink she threw over her shoulder, his doubt had faded and left way for a hope hadn't felt in a long while. It made his insides flutter like they had earlier, when she was pressed into his side in the bus.

He looked forward to her possibly being pressed against him tonight, when he told her how he truly felt. The odds were tipped in his favor, it seemed, but he didn't want to get his hopes up at the same time. So, he rifled through his luggage and slipped into his brand-new pair of swim shorts and slipped his glasses onto his head and a pair of sandals on his feet.

For now, he was going to let all that thinking go and hit the buffet with Fin and Carisi, who had knocked on the door just a few seconds ago, dressed similarly to him and ready to eat. He was ready to start this vacation now, with the hope he didn't have when they left New York that morning.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Ok, here's the second chapter! Two uploads in one day? Crazy, I know! Also, since it's going to be a huge hassle to go back through and edit the first chapter, I'm just going to point out an editing error I failed to fix. Surprise, right? I originally didn't have the kids coming along on the trip but decided to throw them in last minute and there's a sentence that contradicts them being on the trip. It's in the first chapter almost half way through if you caught it. In any case, nothing crazy happens quite yet, so enjoy the calm before the storm, folks. I don't own SVU or any of its characters. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Saturday – 12:30 p.m.**

Liv hadn't been this relaxed in a really long time.

She sipped from her margarita, compliments of Rita who was already sucking down her second one while her and Amanda nursed their first still, and watched as Noah and Jesse waded around in the kiddie pool close to where they were sitting.

There were three lifeguards in there, monitoring the kids' every move, so she didn't feel inclined to sit by the sidelines and watch him like a hawk. She was finally starting to let go of all those fears the Sheila fiasco instilled in her, recognizing that not everyone was out to hurt her son or take him from her.

She was hesitant in the beginning to even bring him on the cruise. She had mulled over the idea after Carisi and Amanda, the squad event planners, brought it up, and it took her a few conversations with Amanda, who was bringing Jesse, and Fin, who was quick to make her realize that he and Jesse were probably the only kids on the ship with a built-in police detail, to really get into it.

She was glad they had talked her into it, because being away from the city and their jobs for a week was really going to help with the stresses of their everyday lives. She had all of her family around her, which she was excited for.

But, she was probably more excited that Rafael had accepted her invitation to join. Their relationship hadn't noise dived quite like it did when he found out about her and Tucker, but it did take a small hit, one that they were coming back from slowly. It didn't help that they couldn't see each other all of the time like they used to be able to do, but she was hoping to rectify that with this trip.

Part of the reason she so readily asked him to join was because she had some things to say to him. Not talking for an entire week really allowed her to focus on her feelings and sort through them, something she was never really good at doing, but did with startlingly clarity while he was off, recovering and taking time to himself.

She had come to realize just how deep they truly did run for him, which really wasn't incredibly surprising to her. He had come to be her best friend. Someone she could rely on and trust fully and talk to about the good and bad things. He'd been there through most everything these past few years and him leaving had been the punch in the gut she needed to truly see how dumb they both were.

She was aware of his feelings, even if he hadn't ever said them out loud to her. What he said to her was almost an admission, she came to realize, however it vague it may have been. But it was an admission nonetheless, and she had been carrying that ever since, trying to decide when she was going to bring it up. And she was going to bring it up, because she absolutely had to.

That was what she had intended to do with this cruise, hoping beyond hope he accepted her pleas to join them so she could get him alone. She was surprised when he brought up the idea of talking about things between them first, but it was a pleasant surprise and only furthered the idea that he was trying to admit to something that day outside of the courthouse. It made her heart jump in her chest at just the thought of being alone with him later and reciting everything she wanted to talk to him about. The pain she felt when he left, the anger she held for little more than an hour towards him, the absolute love she felt bursting in her chest every time he was near…

She had accepted a while ago that every time she thought her little speech through, she sounded like some dramatic romance novel, but it was true. He made her this way and she was almost positive, from the look on his face after she kissed his cheek just twenty minutes ago, that she made him feel the same way.

"God, Rita, what did you order in these?" Amanda made a gagging noise and set her drink down on the table she shared with the woman. Rita looked at her over her sunglasses and then sat back again, eyes closed and arms on the padded arm rests.

"Double tequila. I don't do weak drinks, honey," she said back without the usual dose of sass all of her words were tainted with. Liv shook her head, looking away from her and incredibly bright white swim suit, back to where her son was jumping around happily in the kiddie pool. Jesse stayed right along with him, refusing to leave his side.

"Remind me never to let you order my drinks again."

"It's not that bad," Liv sipped again, "But I have to agree with you."

Rita huffed and waved them off, "You two need to live a little. Get a little crazy."

"We also have children with us," Amanda reminded her, waving at Jesse who was waving at her from the pool. She looked adorable with her pink floaties around her arms. "There's no such thing as getting a little crazy."

Liv concurred. Noah didn't need to see his mommy getting fall down drunk, or anyone else he knew for that matter.

"Fine, then. But you still need to let loose every once in a while. Meet a stranger…fool around. You both need to get laid, that much is certain." Amanda and Liv both looked over at her like she was insane, prompting Rita to slide her sunglasses into her hair and prop herself up on her side.

"Don't give me those looks. Amanda, I see the way you check out Stone. I'm not blind."

Amanda tried to cut in but was hushed, "I'm not saying you should try and screw him, but I'm saying you should try and screw someone. Please, God, not Carisi." The blonde snapped her mouth shut and stared over at her daughter and Noah, trying to make herself seem invisible while Rita directed her attention to Liv.

"Don't even get me started on you."

"What does that mean?"

"That means that if and Rafael don't screw each other by the time this cruise is done with, then you both are truly hopeless."

"Jesus, Rita!" Liv blushed and shifted down in her seat as a couple, who heard Rita loud and clear, passed by them. Rita nodded at both of them, truly unabashed about what she was saying or being heard. Liv brought her hand up to her forehead and tried to rid the redness in her cheeks from taking over.

"Eh…I hate to agree with her, Liv, but…she has a point." Liv looked up at Amanda, mouth hanging open and trying to form a retort, but one didn't come out. She had been trying not to think about the possibility of that happening, because their hearts and feelings were more important than, what she was sure would be, mind-blowing sex.

"I'm just saying, that's all. Take it or leave it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get my other side," Rita sat up and let the lounge chair fall flat, flipping over and shifting until she got comfortable, leaving Liv and Amanda in silence.

They both sat there, staring at their kids in silence, until Amanda conceded and shrugged her shoulders.

"She has a point."

Liv sighed and moved her straw aside, taking large gulps of the margarita in her hand instead of replying.

* * *

"God, I'm full."

"You ate half the buffet," Rafael said, sucking down the rest of his beer and removing the napkin from his lap. Carisi rubbed his hands over his stomach, looking somewhat miserable and bloated, and sipped from the glass of water he ordered halfway through his meal.

"I don't think I've ever seen a grown man eat so much macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs." Fin and Rafael shared a look, both finding it hard not to laugh at the disgruntled look Carisi gave the both of them.

"Hey. It's my favorite meal. I make it for Jesse all the time," he said, as a way to justify his choice in food.

"Poor kid," Fin joked, and Carisi rolled his eyes, shifting forward in his seat to pick at the leftover cookie he had on one of his dessert plates. Rafael focused his attention out to the sea. They had taken off a little over a twenty minutes ago, on their way to their first stop in Cabo San Lucas. The dining hall was crowded with the lunch rush and people cutting through to get to other areas of the ship.

The steady movement of the ship made him a little queasy at first, but pushed through and managed to eat a good amount that would tide him over until dinner. He had actually enjoyed spending time with both Fin and Carisi. Just the three of them had never hung out together, and he found they had somewhat built a camaraderie with each other. It was refreshing, realizing that he had built more relationships with these people than he thought previously. Even Carisi, who still annoyed the hell out of him.

"You know I'm joking man. I'm glad you spend time with her. She needs a good influence in her life."

Carisi smiled, nodding his head. Rafael could tell the taller detectives truly felt something for the little girl that went beyond being her mother's best friend. He'd been around Carisi before, gushing about something she did or said, or how she looked while she was sleeping or how she mispronounced his name. It was clear as day that Carisi had grown into a sort of father figure type for her, and no one would ever poke fun at that.

"Yeah. I'm glad she's here. She was so excited when she found out Noah was coming along."

Rafael cracked a smile at the mention of the little boy. Noah had been beyond excited when he heard Uncle Rafa was coming along, and had called him in the middle of his lunch break one day from Liv's phone, unbeknownst to his mother who was in the shower at the time.

* * *

" _Hey, Liv."_

" _Hi, Uncle Rafa!"_

 _Rafael certainly hadn't been expecting to hear Noah instead of Liv, but he smiled nonetheless and dropped his fork back into his salad, and wiped his hands on a napkin. The café he sat in wasn't packed thankfully, so he didn't have to move in order to hear the other end of the line._

" _Mommy said you were coming on the crusie with us!"_

" _Yeah, I am. I bought my ticket and everything."_

" _I'm so excited!" And he did sound genuinely excited and happy which made Rafael feel good. He missed Liv, but he missed Noah, just as much, if not even more. He'd gotten so used to seeing Noah more than a few times a week and when that suddenly stopped, he hadn't expected it to affect him as much as it had._

" _I am too, buddy. Where's your mom?"_

" _She's in the shower. She didn't have to work today so she's taking me to the park! Can you come with us Uncle Rafa, please?"_

 _Rafael hung his head, feeling his heart pull in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to tell him yes, and meet up with them and spend the entire day with them, but he had court and meetings to attend to and he couldn't just drop everything. He hated it._

" _Maybe another time," he said softly, trying to bring the boy down gently. Noah took it in stride though, sounding only a little sad as he replied, "Ok. You promise?"_

" _I promise," Rafael repeated. He heard Liv's voice in the background and shuffling as the phone was transferred from one pair of hands to another._

" _Rafa?"_

 _His heart jumped in his chest at the use of his nickname and he cleared his throat, "Yeah, it's me."_

" _I'm sorry, I didn't think he was going to call you. Or anyone. Because he knows better."_

" _It's alright. I'm on my lunch. You told him I was going?"_

" _Yeah. You should have seen his face, he lit up like a Christmas tree."_

 _He chuckled and picked up fork again, shifting the lettuce around his bowl, "I miss that kid."_

 _Liv was quiet for a long moment, "He misses you, too."_

 _They were silent for another long moment before Rafael decided to put an end to the conversation upon seeing the time. "I have to get going but, can I call you later? Maybe the three of us can grab some dinner?"_

 _He could hear her smile as she agreed, "Yeah, we can do that."_

* * *

"Look, I'm all for you being close with Jesse, just as long as you don't get close with Amanda," Fin cut in. Carisi reeled back, almost in disgust at the idea. It seemed a little forced in Rafael's opinion, but he didn't say anything, although Fin did shoot him a look.

"It's not like that at all with me and Amanda. We're best friends and Jesse doesn't exactly have a dad so…"

"Good. I don't need that kind of drama circling the squad room."

"Trust me, you won't. It was bad enough between you and Liv all the time," Carisi pointed at Rafael and it was his turn to look confused and slightly disturbed. He also felt slightly cornered, with both men looking at him and waiting for him to say something. Did they know? Was it obvious that he had been into Liv this entire time and he was shitty at hiding it?

"What do you mean?" He managed to say that with calm nonchalance he was known for. He grabbed his beer up and finished it off, standing along with both Fin and Carisi, deciding unanimously to leave the area after pitching in on the tip.

"I mean, that anytime you and Liv fought, we had to hear all about it or face her wrath after she was done with you. It wasn't pretty but it was sometimes entertaining."

They weaved their way through the tables and out towards the elevator, ready to hit the pool where the ladies were lounging. Rafael let out a breath as the two men kept talking about him and Liv going to toe-to-toe all the time. It relieved him to know that he hadn't been obvious with his feelings. That was no one else's business but his own.

He excluded himself from the conversation and checked his phone, seeing a few e-mails from work that he wasn't going to bother opening up. If he was on a vacation, then he was going to be on a real one. No work allowed. That had been on of Liv's own rules she laid down before they even stepped on the airplane this morning, and he wasn't about to risk her finding out. He needed things to go smoothly between them.

"You remember that one time you pissed Liv off so bad, she called your mom and your mom ended up going to office to chew your head off?"

Rafael rolled his eyes, "How could I forget? I should have never introduced those two…" He'd been so livid after that, he didn't talk to either of them the rest of the day. Eventually, Liv showed up in his office the next morning, laughing because it was all set up as payback. Those two had become surprisingly close, and stayed close after he had left the D.A.'s office.

As they walked out onto the pool deck, Fin easily spotted Rita sitting next to two empty lounge chairs covered in towels. It was so crowded with a lot of the other vacationers taking advantage of the spectacular weather, it took them nearly fifteen minutes to even get to where they were sitting.

As soon as they came into view, Rafael noticed Liv was sitting with Noah, who had his head tucked into her neck and her arms wrapped around him. Jesse was casually lounging back against Amanda, who was tenderly touching a spot on her daughter's forehead that looked read and raised.

"Everything ok?"

"Some little bastard threw a toy at Jesse and pushed Noah into the side of the pool." Rita answered them easily, looking displeased as Fin sat down next to her on her chair and kissed her. Carisi bent down by Jesse and began inspecting the area, noting that at least she wasn't crying. It made it easier to see.

"He ok?"

Rafael sat down next to Liv, feeling a genuine pull towards Noah to see if the boy was ok. He was wrapped in a towel and he could faintly hear the sniffles coming from him. Liv sighed and ran her fingers through his hair, "He threw up and his stomach is a little scraped. I think he's just embarrassed."

Rafael reached out and tugged on one of Noah's toes, getting his attention. He leaned forward, pressing right up against Liv so he could see his face better. "You feeling better?" Noah nodded but his bottom lip still trembled a bit. The five-year-old pushed away from Liv a little and sat up, pulling the towel with him and extended his arms.

Rafael plucked him out of Liv's lap without question and sat the boy up on his lap. Liv smiled when she saw Noah wiping his tears away and nodding at when Rafael asked if he wanted to go swim in the big pool. She bit her lip, stifling laughter as he tried in vain to help Noah into the floaties that were in her bag.

"Uncle Rafa, you have to get them wet first," Noah reminded him, giggling when Rafael lost his grip and the floatie went sailing a few feet away from them. Liv watched them, her heart nearly exploding in her chest. It was amazing how she sat with him for ten minutes and all it took to make her son feel better was his Uncle Rafa acting like a goof.

"Ok, go dunk these in the water real quick," Rafael pointed at the kiddie pool and watched him run over, mindful to wait for people to pass him politely.

"I think my kid likes you better than he likes me," Liv joked, bumping her shoulder with his. He shook his head, a fond grin on his face. "No way. You're much better than me. I just try and be funny and hope it lands."

"You're hilarious. Five-year-old hilarious. Adult hilarious? Eh."

"At least I know my audience," he got out before Noah slammed back into him, getting his t-shirt and swim shorts wet with the water falling off his arm floaties. Liv smiled and leaned back, kicking her legs back up and watching Rafael still struggle with the floaties. Eventually, after he had them on, he stood and stripped off his shirt and shoes, reminding Noah not to go running off without him.

Liv tried not to stare for too long, or make it obvious that he was appreciating his assets, quite literally. Those suit pants had always been well tailored, but it was a different experience seeing it in swim shorts. Amanda cleared her throat suddenly and Liv jumped a little, looking at her. Carisi had done much of the same as Rafael, with Jesse standing next to him and waiting while he applied some sunscreen.

"You ok there, Liv?"

Liv glared daggers at Amanda and turned her attention back to Noah, who was digging around in her bag. He pulled out some goggles and she swung her legs back over to help him secure them to his face. "Ok. You're all set. Hey," she grabbed his arm gently before he could move away from her, "Listen to Rafa and don't swim away from him, got it?"

"I know, mommy," he said and kissed her cheek sweetly before he began incessantly tugging on Rafael's hand, who stayed rooted to the spot as Liv stood up next to him. He smiled as she eyed him up and down and stepped closer, "Lose my kid and I'll destroy you, Barba."

He smirked, seeing her try and fail to be intimidating. He wouldn't dare dream of it. But, he couldn't resist being a little bit of a cheeky asshole, "Promise?" He walked away after that, focused solely on getting Noah in the water and turning that frown upside down. Carisi followed, walking slowly with Jesse, who's red rimmed eyes were also covered with a pair of pink goggles.

Liv watched in silence as the four made their way into the shallow end of the pool, and when she was assured that Noah was going to behave and that Rafael was supporting him in the water, she sat back down, rejoining Amanda, Rita, and Fin.

"Liv, you up for a little walk? We got a whole ship to explore still."

"Yeah, Barba and Carisi can handle the kids for a little bit. I wanna go throw some of my hard-earned money away in the Casino." Rita nodded next to Fin, "I second that."

Liv hummed, eyes finding the four back in the pool, having a good time playing around with a random beach ball they found that had the cruise line logo stamped on it. She wasn't crazy about the idea of leaving Noah without her, and rehashing those fears of not being around him 24/7 she'd tried so hard to let go of. But, if she was going to choose to leave him with anyone, it would have to be Rafael, who would just about anything to keep her son safe, and she was 100% sure of that.

She hesitated to answer, but eventually nodded, growing more comfortable with the idea. She followed suit and slipped her jean shorts and tank top back on. She would leave her bag, taking only her purse, and their clothes piled up on one chair for when the emerged from the pool. Before she left the dock, her and Amanda stopped by the pool edge, beckoning the grown men, who were holding their children and arguing about something or another involving the beach ball.

"We're going to take off and look around. We'll meet back at the rooms at five and go to dinner, ok?"

"Bye mommy!" Jesse waved cutely at Amanda, who was busy snapping pictures from her phone. Liv squatted down as Rafael and Noah came to the pool edge, both of their hair soaking wet and sticking up in odd places, "I love you, sweet boy. Behave yourself, ok? Barba, remember what I said." She tried to look menacing, but she knew it failed when Noah giggled at her. She left with a small wink at the both of them and trailed behind Amanda, who was trailing behind Rita and Fin.

* * *

It was nearly two hours later when the four climbed out of the pool and dried off, taking a few minutes to sit in the sun and relax before they dressed and took off back inside of the ship. Carisi split off from him and Noah, needing to get Jesse something to eat, and Rafael needing to get Noah upstairs so he could take a little nap. The boy was exhausted and would likely start to get cranky if he didn't get a little sleep before dinner time.

By the time they made it back to their Oceanview room, Rafael had Noah wrapped around him, dozing away on his shoulder. He laid him back on his bed, briefly wondering how sleeping arrangements were going to be made. Since he had little time to plan anything for this trip, and Liv offered for him to bunk with them, it left them one bed down. She decided that Noah would cram into the bed with her, but that was looking like it was going to get incredibly uncomfortable really quick.

"Uncle Rafa," Noah said sleepily, eyes closed as Rafael tugged the blanket up over him, uncaring that the sheets were probably going to be wet. Noah reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling on it until his palm rested on his chest. Rafael leaned down one knee next to him and ran his fingers through his semi-dry hair. "Why don't you come over to my house anymore?"

The question was unexpected, and it took him a few seconds to try and form an answer in his head. Noah took those few seconds as a bad sign and tightened his grip on his hand, "You used to come over all the time and now you don't. Did I do something bad?"

"No, no," Rafael shook his head and leaned over him. Noah opened his eyes tiredly and looked up at him. "You didn't do anything bad at all. I just…I got a different job and I haven't been able to come over a whole lot because I'm just busy all the time. You didn't do anything wrong, buddy. I wish I could come over and see you more often."

"Mommy said you needed time to yourself."

Rafael nodded, "Yeah. I did. But I don't anymore. I promise I'll come over more and see you. I'm sorry I haven't been lately."

"It's ok. I love you." Noah said it so easily and without preamble. It was so effortless it nearly brought tears to his eyes. Perhaps, that what he loved the most about Noah…that he loved and forgave so easily. It was so innocent and pure, something Rafael hadn't experienced in his line of work enough at all.

"I love you, too. Now get some sleep."

Noah was out within a minute, leaving Rafael there to stare at his little face. When his hands eventually loosened their grip on his hand, he stood and withdrew, feeling a sense of pride and unabashed love swelling in him. The moment was broken when he jumped and turned, seeing the bathroom door open to reveal Liv, who had changed into a long, floral maxi dress, and fixed her hair and makeup.

She smiled softly at him, and came to stand next to him, one of her hands resting on his back. He looked at her while she watched her son slumbering peacefully. "Thank you," she said, voice thick. He nodded and leaned forward, kissing her cheek and lingering for longer than necessary.

"I'll stay with him. You can go," he said and she nodded, not feeling the need to argue with him. She stepped past him and bent down to kiss Noah on the forehead. She would be back up in a few hours to wake him for dinner. For now, her and Amanda were going to go check out the casino with Rita and Fin.

"I'll be back in a few hours, ok? If you need something just call me," she said quietly, her hand landing on his shoulder and sliding down to his chest. He looked at her, his green eyes piercing her brown as his hand covered hers. For a minute, she thought that this was where it was going to happen. This was when she was going to kiss him for the first time, but Noah moaned and turned in his sleep and she decided that this definitely wasn't the time or place for it. They could do it later, when they were alone and talking.

"Ok. I'm going to go take a shower. Have fun," he whispered, letting go of her hand. She smiled and stepped past him to grab her purse. With one more look back, she left the room with a smile on her face, feeling something she hadn't felt in a long time.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: More fluff and cuteness in this chapter! Until you get to the end. LOL. I don't own SVU or its characters. ENJOY.

* * *

 **Saturday – 6:45 p.m.**

"Six in a row! Right there!"

Carisi vaulted over two lounge chairs and spread his body across the six that sat unattended before anyone around them could grab them.

Amanda dipped her head in embarrassment, leaving Fin and Rita to shake their heads at his idiocy. Liv and Rafael brought up the rear with the kids in tow, candy in their hand as a movie snack, despite the fact that they all had eaten just an hour before.

The decks were filling up quickly with people wanting to catch the movie that played on the giant projector over the pool, which was lit up and still filled with vacationers braving the dropping temperatures. It was surprisingly cold out there on the sea as they day went on and they all made sure bring a few blankets and jackets just in case.

"You're hopeless," Amanda said as she nudged him and took the farthest chair, sitting Jesse down on her lap. Carisi scrambled up next to her, trying to look somewhat dignified as people shot him weird looks are laughed in their direction. Rita and Fin opted to curl up one together, since Rita was slightly drunk and shivering and Fin was about to pass out into a food coma. Noah immediately grabbed up his own seat and spread out the candy Rafael bought him like they were his prized possessions.

"If he doesn't go to sleep tonight, you're watching him," Liv said to him, curling up in the last chair beside his. There was a timer on the projector, giving them a running countdown until the movie started. It was some family friendly, animated kid's movie that the kids were excited to see, and Noah had made sure that Rafael was going to be there with him to see it.

After what Noah had said back in the room, it made his heart hurt to think Noah thought he was just going to disappear on a whim like that now. He spent most of his incredibly long shower thinking about that, and how he never wanted to see that sad look on his little face again.

"And if he does, then he's sleeping with you in your tiny little bed," he smiled at her, admiring the way the wind had swept her hair over her shoulder and how cute she looked wrapped up in a blanket.

"Uh-huh. We'll see who's bed he's going to be crawling into tonight. I have a feeling it's going to be you." The way things were looking, she was probably right. Noah had been all over him all day, not that he minded. However, he did hope they were able to slip away from the toddler for just a little bit to have their talk. He finally had some semblance of an idea of what he was going to say and he hoped he didn't choke when the spotlight was on him.

"Maybe. But, I don't mind."

Liv smiled at him and rested her head against the back of the lounge chair, shivering as a cool blast of air hit them. She was half-tempted to just crawl onto his chair and cuddle into his warmth, but friends who really weren't sure if they were more than friends probably shouldn't do that. But, she wished she could.

"You will when he kicks you for the first time. My boy has a leg on him. Definitely a soccer player."

"Baseball," Rafael corrected, wagging his finger at her. It was the only sport he ever truly liked, and he was happy to impose that onto Liv, who was looking into signing Noah up for some sort of league. The boy had way too much energy not to waste on a field somewhere.

"Fine, baseball, whatever," she rolled her eyes playfully and shivered again. She stood up and shifted the lounge chair over until it butted up right against his, then burrowed down into her blanket once more, curled up right next to his side. He smiled at disgruntled expression and gestured to his side.

"Would you like to share some of my body heat? I run pretty warm," he joked and she eyed him for a second before she neatly moved over and curled up into his side, moving the blanket so that it covered some of his body as well. Rafael breathed in the smell of her hair, mixed with some chlorine from earlier and the perfume she always wore.

"Friends don't do things like this," she mumbled, low enough for him to hear. She cuddled further in, resting her head against his neck. She watched Noah carefully stack all of his candy on his chair, waiting patiently for the movie that was starting in less the three minutes now to begin. He was getting tired again, she could tell. He only took a 45-minute nap earlier and he was beginning to rub his eyes, which was always a telltale sign.

"I wouldn't refer to as friends much anymore," he said smoothly, just as the feature presentation sign started and lights on the decks dimmed considerably. Liv couldn't argue that point at all. They really weren't considered friends much anymore, not with the way they were both feelings towards each other. For her, it had been a long while since they were anything close to friendship, and she suspected the same from him.

"I suppose we should get that sorted out then," she yawned and looked away from Amanda, Fin, and Rita, who were staring at them with pointed looks. "Tonight, so we don't have to get interrogated by our nosy travel companions." She moved impossibly closer and closed her eyes, feeling sleep creep up on her just as the opening credits of the movie started to roll. People were still strolling about and talking just loud enough that she could hear, effectively preventing her from falling asleep.

However, it didn't prevent her son from passing out less than ten minutes into the movie, as did Jesse, who was cradled in Amanda's arms. Carisi was texting away on his phone and Rita and Fin were both passed out completely in the chair, which was unsurprising considering they both had loaded up on drinks during dinner and before.

After another five minutes, she could see both Fin and Rita move to stand, sleepily waving goodbye to them as they navigated themselves off of the deck. Amanda and Carisi didn't last much longer. Liv waved her over, leaving Carisi to pick up their mess of movie snacks and belongings.

"Would you mind taking Noah back to your room? I'll come get him in a little bit, I have some things to take care of." She could feel Rafael lift his head up, tightening the arm he had wrapped around her while he rubbed his eyes.

"Of course." Amanda glanced up at Rafael, "Take your time."

* * *

It took them a while to navigate, but they eventually found a vacant part of the ship that was dimly lit and completely free of people. They leaned up against the railing, standing in silence and basking in the unfiltered beauty of the night sky and the moonlight hitting the ocean water. She felt truly at peace here, with him, alone, touching gently and enjoying each other's company.

"It's so beautiful out here," he whispered, eyes never leaving the moon hanging low in the sky. She hummed in agreement, shivering a little as another blast of cool air blew her hair back away from her face. Rafael pulled her closer, securing his arm around her waist.

"How are you so warm when it's so cold out?"

"I'm a hot-blooded Cuban," he responded, turning his face into her hair.

"You certainly are."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Not right now, it isn't. It's only a bad thing when you're being stubborn and not listening to me."

"Which is…," he trailed, making of show of tapping his chin and furrowing his brow, "…the majority of the time?"

Liv nodded her head, snuggling back into his warmth. She turned to face him and wrapped her arms around his waist, shoving her face into his neck. He swayed them back and forth, enjoying the small, intimate movement while he hummed a tune. She knew he could sing. She had caught him doing it one time, softly, in his office when he thought no one was around.

One of these days, she was going to goad him into going karaoking and force him stage so he could reveal his true talents.

"So…we were going to have that talk…?" She pulled back, but kept the space between them small. She fisted the material of his jacket along with the blanket, keeping them wrapped up together as another breeze drifted through. He smiled at her and rested his forehead against hers.

"Do we really have to? I think it's obvious by now what we're both wanting to say."

She inhaled his scent and slid her forehead away from his, her nose bumping against his. She could feel his breath hitting her lips and she nearly moaned when his lips met hers. It was a long, sweet kiss, filled with hesitation and so many words he'd been trying to say.

And here she thought she was going to need some big, dumb speech about how hurt she was when he left and how happy she was that he was there now, and how she was pretty sure she was in love with him, and that she was almost positive he loved her back. All of the words she'd been wanting to say as well evaporated into a cloud of smoke.

They didn't need words. They never truly did need words between them. It was in the eyes and the gentle touches the shared. Hands on backs or arms or, later on in their friendship, quick hugs and her arm slipped through his while they walked side-by-side.

True, they would eventually say the words, because sometimes, it was just needed, but for now, all they truly needed was their lips and their bodies pressed against each other, overlooking the ocean and underneath a starry sky.

"This is better than I ever imagined," he murmured, pulling away from her lips with a drunken, dazed look. Her only response was to lace her fingers through his soft hair and pull him back in, unable to get enough of his taste and the feel of his tongue sliding along hers. It was all so surreal, that they were here together and doing this, and it was growing more passionate and needy by the second, to the point where he was pressing her against the cold metal wall of the ship and the blanket that had been keeping her warm slid from her hands without much thought.

"I love you," he whispered to her, breaking away from her mouth to trail kisses down her neck. He nipped at her collarbone when she whispered those words back, failing to bite back an embarrassingly loud moan only the stars were able to hear. The words fell from her lips so easily, especially in a moment like this, where both of their hearts were bursting with joy.

"Oh! Oh my…"

They both jumped apart upon hearing the woman's voice out of nowhere. It took them a moment to realize they were standing near a stairwell that lead up from the cabins out onto the deck, in which anyone could walk out of at any time.

Liv's cheeks grew red as the woman and her husband quickly passed them, the woman apologizing for intruding with a big smile on her face. The husband patted Rafael on his back as they went, leaving both him and Liv to unanimously decide to take their little make-out session inside, where they could be alone in their shared room.

He lead them inside through the stairwell and navigated them to their room while Liv mentally patted herself on the back for having the foresight to invite him to share her room. This hadn't ever been part of the original plan, but with Noah most likely in Amanda and Sonny's room, and with the way they couldn't seem to keep their hands from exploring as they finally stopped outside of their room and searched for the key card, she had no problem adjusting those plans a bit.

Rafael swung the door open, and before they both could enter, he turned to her, "I love you. I know I keep saying it but we haven't really said much else or talked about anything yet and I just hope you know I want to tell you how much I love you."

Liv closed the distance and kissed him quickly on the lips. She grabbed his arm and walked in the room, pulling him in behind her. As soon as he was in, she was the one to press him into the wall of their room.

"We can talk later. For right now, just shut up and show me how much you love me."

So, he did just that.

* * *

 **Sunday – 9:42 a.m.**

"What if they're naked? I don't want to see them naked."

Amanda snuck a peek at Noah and Jesse, who were cuddled up under one blanket on the sofa, watching cartoons on the small mounted television in their room. She gestured at them wildly and Carisi bit his lip, hoping he hadn't been heard by the two youngest people of their group.

"Just knock! I'm sure they're both asleep in their own beds and Liv forgot to set an alarm."

"You really going to pretend we didn't hear what he heard through the wall last night?"

Amanda groaned and rubbed her eyes, trying to rid herself of the memories. She didn't ever think she would have to listen to her Lieutenant in the throes of passion with their ex-ADA, but crazy things happened on vacations. Especially, between two people who'd been circling each other for years.

"Maybe, they were just playing a game or something."

"Yeah? What? Hide the gavel?" She reached over and slapped his arm. It was obvious Carisi was too much of a wuss to face the possibility of seeing their boss in a compromising position, so she would have to do it. She knew Liv was going to want Noah bathed and in fresh clothing before they all descended into the ship for the day. They were arriving at their first stop, Cabo San Lucas in a little more than five hours, and would be docked their overnight.

"Noah, sweetie, let's go see if your mom is awake yet, ok?"

* * *

"Can I just say that I'm really loving this little ensemble you have going on here?"

Liv glanced at Rafael over her shoulder, seeing him sitting up against the headboard with sheets pooled in his lap and his hair a complete mess. He had his glasses on and his gold cross chain nestled into the wiry curls of his chest hair. She was almost positive she hadn't ever been so turned on her life than at this moment, standing by the dresser in just a towel and skin wet from the hot water, but there was no time to do any of that now.

He had to get in the shower (which was much too small to fit both of them unfortunately), and dressed before they could join anyone for breakfast. They also had to act like they weren't exhausted and spent most of the night having emotional conversations between rounds of amazing sex.

But, she would take the exhaustion in stride. They opened up to each other in ways they hadn't with anyone else before. She told him about how she felt when he was gone and how she always felt before he left. He told her how he'd been in love with her for years and that she meant more to him than she could possibly know.

It was the conversation they needed to have, finally, and she was beyond happy it was done with, so they could move forward instead of being stuck in that weird limbo, where they both knew what they wanted, but weren't sure how to go about it.

"Don't start. We don't have time to finish," she reminded him, pulling out various pieces of clothing from the dresser and from her bag. They had a full day planned ahead and she was ready to get off the ship and out into Cabo. She wanted to go sit on the beach, explore the touristy areas and eat the food. She was also glad Rafael was going to be there to translate. She could speak and understand a good amount of Spanish, but not the way a native speaker could. She also loved listening to him speak it.

"I know, I know," he said and stood up, stretching and popping his back for good measure. He threw his glasses on the bed and walked past her, stealing a few kisses before he locked himself in the bathroom. Liv bit her lip, feeling a giddiness, she hadn't in a long while.

This dynamic to their relationship was brand new, but felt so natural and so right. It was almost as if they'd been doing this for years rather than hours. That was a refreshing feeling in and of itself and she couldn't wait to explore it more.

She was able to get half-way dressed until Amanda knocked on her door, loudly calling her name through the door. Liv, pantless, cracked the door open, keeping her lower half covered and smiled brightly at her soon, who was still wearing the same clothes he had been earlier. His hair was a mess, but he looked rested and happy.

"Hi honey! I was just about to come and get him. Sorry, we woke up late."

The 'we' didn't escape Amanda, but she wisely didn't comment on it. Liv ushered Noah into the room, "Thanks for watching him. I appreciate it."

"Anytime, you know that. Was everything ok, with you and Barba last night?"

Liv nodded, not saying much of anything. There was no reason for her to be secretive about what had transpired, other than the fact that she was positive Amanda didn't want to know anything about her sex life, which had been stagnant until last night. But something in the detective's face told her that she already kind of new, and Liv was unsure how, but she was positive she didn't want to know why.

"Yeah. So. I'll see you guys downstairs at the breakfast buffet." Liv said quickly, just as the bathroom door began to open, leaving Amanda awkwardly standing alone in the hallway.

* * *

Rita was on her second Mimosa by the time she was joined by Amanda and Liv, both with plates of food. They were there for all of five seconds when Rita spotted Liv's glowing face and relaxed posture and she didn't bother hiding her smirk, at all.

"You got laid."

Amanda nearly choked on her coffee, as did Liv, and Rita snorted at their surprise. She did, though, nod at the group of men behind her that heard what she said.

"Oh, don't give me that look," she sat her glass back down next to her plate of fruit, "I had a three-year dry spell before I started dating Fin. I know when someone has had sex."

"Do you have to say it so loud? There are kids here, Rita."

Amanda looked around behind them, seeing Carisi balancing two plates of food and a drink while he trailed behind Jesse, who was looking around at all the tables, trying to find her. She called out to them and turned back to Rita, "Yeah, including mine and hers, so tone down the sex talk. You can grill her for information later."

Rita shrugged one shoulder and went back to her mimosa. Despite her natural standoffish attitude, she was genuinely happy for Olivia, and Rafael, who was looking happier than usual. The man was naturally like her, with a cool demeanor and an expressionless face. Seeing him so smiley was a new experience for her, but not an unwelcome one.

Beyond that, she was happy to be on this ship in general and away from the city. She remembered when Fin had brought up the idea to her one night when they were watching television, mentioning it as a mere afterthought.

" _A cruise?"_

" _Yeah," he said tiredly, kicking his feet up on her coffee table. She sat up a little and looked at him, watching the way he blinked slowly and yawned. "I'd love to go!"_

 _He seemed shocked and looked at her like she had grown an extra head, "Really?"_

" _Yeah. I've been dying to go on a cruise. My last one was seven years ago with a bunch of women from my sorority and it was nothing but a bunch of backstabbing and cat fights the entire time."_

" _What makes you think going with my squad is going to be any different?"_

 _Rita rolled her eyes and stated the obvious, "Because I actually like your squad. To some degree. Carisi can work my nerve, but I can deal."_

" _They're bringing the kids."_

" _I like the kids. They're cute and they say funny things. They can't be any worse than a bunch of drunk forty-year-old women blowing $500 dollars at a male strip club and puking in the dumpster behind a shitty Jamaican restaurant."_

 _Fin was silent, mulling over her words. He shrugged after minute and pulled her back into his side, "Ok. I'll tell them we're down."_

She was having a better time than she had on her last cruise, and Fin was the cause for most of it. She couldn't ever remember having a better time with a boyfriend than she had with him, and she couldn't have picked a better group of people to be around.

"Oh! They have snorkeling!"

Well, Carisi was still a question mark for her.

"And whale watching tours! Surfing lessons…hikes…"

"We get it Carisi, they have a lot of stuff to do," Rafael cut in, sitting next to Noah, who took the chair right next to his mother. He set the plate of food down right in front of him, and it was piled so high it nearly covered his face.

"We need to have a game plan here. We can't just get off the ship and go looking around. We waste time that way."

"We're docked for a day," Fin pointed out, the last to join them with a fresh plate of food. Rita reached over and stole the edge of a pancake from his plate, "We ain't missin' anything."

"How about we all go our separate ways when we get there and do what we want? Carisi, Amanda, you guys can go snorkeling, Rita and Fin can go shopping since that's all I've heard Rita talk about since we left New York, and the kids can play on the beach, where I intend to stay the majority of the time."

"Mommy, I wanna see the fishies!"

"Yeah, mommy, I wanna see the fishies, too."

Liv shot Rafael a look and he shrugged his shoulders, knowing damn well what he was doing. She had told him the night before all she wanted to do was lounge in the sand and get some sun, but he was intent on getting her out in the water.

"Ok, we can all go snorkeling, it doesn't matter. Let's just enjoy breakfast and we can all decide when we get there."

"Agreed," Amanda said, "Pass the salt, please?"

They all ate in companionable silence for a few minutes, and then Carisi broke the peaceful calm, "Ooo! Swim with the dolphins!"

Rita threw a piece of mango at him and hit him square in the head. It made everyone laugh loudly, drawing attention to their table, but it was enough to shut Carisi up the rest of breakfast.

* * *

 **Sunday – 2:27 p.m.**

High atop the roof of one of Cabo San Lucas' most renowned resorts was the best place to see incoming ships to the marina. Many people sailed in and out of the ports, all year round. Some came down from other parts of Mexico on day trips or travel greater distances to come home to this city.

Other ships, larger ones, docked there for small stays and then left again, headed to their next destination, carrying loads of tourists from across the world. He'd seen them filter out, one by one, before, looking relieved to be on land and excited to see all the sights this tourist trap had to offer.

Juan Gabriel Mendoza was a native of this country and first-time visitor to Cabo. It looked like most of the other tourist trap cities on the coast line of his country. It wasn't breathtakingly beautiful to him, but to these visitors, it was unlike anything they'd ever seen before.

He found it pitiful, watching them awe over simple rock formations or gush about the white, sandy beaches and the marine life that loitered the coast. Of course, he wasn't here to vacation, like most people were. He was here on business. Big business that could potentially prove fatal, if he didn't act right.

He took the cigarette from his mouth and stomped it out, wiping the sweat from his brow and brought the binoculars back up to his eyes. Three of his men stood behind him, canvasing the area and looking out for the local policía, guns hidden behind their backs. Cartel activity was slowly but surely making its way into these tourists filled cities, driving away business, and the government wasn't allowing it. Losing millions of dollars a year because of the drug trade they don't acknowledge? Unacceptable in their eyes.

Juan Gabriel Mendoza was a well-known sicario, and so he had been in hiding since he arrived. He had arrived hidden in the car of a traveling family who drove to the city to sell their goods from their farm, and was slipped into the resort by soldiers who had been securing the city for his arrival. This was a large operation, funded by his jefe, and nothing could go wrong.

The ship was just coming into view now, still some ways out, but it would be docking in less than an hour. He had limited time to work, but a supply an army of men that could storm the beaches and streets within hours if he needed them to.

"El jefe quiere hablar contigo."* He took the phone from the hand of one of his men and brought it to his ear, never taking his eyes off the ship."

"Estará aquí pronto…sí…se hara."**

He snapped the phone closed and handed it back, dropping the binoculars from his vision, the lines in his face deepening as he remembered the plan. It made his stomach churn just thinking about it, but he didn't voice his distaste for it. That wasn't what he was there for. He was a sicario, and they were ruthless killers, no matter what.

He'd murdered plenty of people, for little more tan looking at him weird.

Kidnapping a few American children was going to be easy.

* * *

*The boss wants to talk to you.

**It will be here soon...yes...it will be done.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I know a lot of you guys thought this was going to be a fun vacation fic where nothing goes wrong, but I couldn't resist adding some action/thriller/drama to the mix. I did say this was going to be like Don't Look Behind You! In any case, things pick up in this chapter, so I hope you're prepared. I don't own SVU or its characters. I just love putting them through the worst scenarios. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Sunday – 3:15 p.m.**

They were officially docked in Cabo but they had decided to wait until the line to get off the ship wittled down. Waiting with almost 3,000 other people was not how they wanted to waste an hour, so they all decided to split up and do their own thing for an hour and half before they would meet up by the docking station.

Rita and Fin disappeared to some undisclosed location, Carisi and Amanda plus the kids headed up to the children's play park that was filled with a jungle gym and different activities just for them. It left him and Liv to a quick dip in the pool.

Except, they never made it from their cabin to the pool. Which, he didn't mind and he was positive she didn't either.

"I don't think I can move," she mumbled into his chest, breathing heavily against his sweaty skin. He laughed and trailed a hand down her equally sweaty back, muscles slack from the vigorous workout they just had. He was still trying to catch his breath as well and enjoy the sensations tingling throughout his limbs.

"There's not much room to move on this dinky bed anyway."

She barked quick laugh and, with strength barely there, pushed herself, running her fingers through her damp hair so she could see his face. He appreciated the view of her, naked and on top of him, far more than he ever thought he could.

"We have," she reached over on the nightstand to where both of their phones were and checked the time, "Fifteen minutes before we all need to meet up."

She eyed him below here, fingers dancing through his chest hair and she licked her lips. He knew what that look meant. They had sex only four times and already he knew what she looked like when she was calculating their odds. "Think you can go again?"

He grinned at her and sat up, wrapping his arms around her so he could plant little kisses along her chest and collar bone. He was never going to get enough of her, he already knew. He was addicted to kissing her and it was addiction he never wanted to get away from.

"Honestly? You wore me out," he sighed and she giggled as the scruff on his face tickled her skin. His lips traveled down one of her breasts while his fingers slipped up between her legs and her head fell back, a soft moan leaving her lips. "But there is something else I've been wanting to do…"

* * *

Fin wanted to live down here.

He loved his city, don't get him wrong. He knew all the ins-and-outs, all the holes in the wall where you could get cheap beer and great food. He'd seen the good sides and the bad sides, especially with all his years on the force. He didn't mind the cold weather and the busy traffic and the fact that the city never slept.

But, change was good too. It was something he'd been thinking about more and more lately. Ever since he started dating Rita, his views on the world changed drastically. Suddenly, he was looking at things in a more optimistic way, instead of his signature pessimism that evolved naturally throughout his career.

Which sounded weird, because to the world, Rita Calhoun was this tough as nails, no bullshit woman, who seemed rigid and hard to get along with and perpetually single. But, she wasn't. He saw through that, too. If he hadn't, he wouldn't be in love with her and thinking about moving to a tropical paradise with her, like she always dreamed of.

Maybe not Mexico, but possibly Florida, or California. Somewhere where there were beaches and sun and palm trees outside his window.

They stood on the balcony, Rita leaning back against him as they watched the long line of people exiting the ship, looking every bit of the tourists, they were. Kids walked along parents in the swimsuits, heading towards the beach, while some older couples deposited themselves at the first restaurant they found. He was going to be one of those people, skipping lunch in order to get some authentic Mexican food he just couldn't get on the ship.

"After we eat, we have to go jet skiing. I want some cute pictures of us I can put on my desk in the office so my colleagues can leave me alone about it already."

"They still bothering you?"

Rita nodded, hands tightening around his arms that he had wrapped around her, "Endlessly. They won't stop. My signature glares don't even work on them anymore. I think they realize I've gone soft."

Fin chuckled and kissed her neck, basking in the scent of her flowery shampoo he'd grown so fond of. He knew he was the one to blame for her going soft and he wasn't going to apologize for it.

* * *

"Your daughter is so adorable."

Amanda was used to comments like that from strangers now, so she just smiled and thanked the elderly woman who was carrying a baby on her hip. Jesse giggled insanely as Carisi chased her around the playpark, that wasn't nearly as crowded as it had been yesterday. Noah chased after him, the three weaving in and around the jungle gym. She looked out over the balcony she stood in, seeing the bustling city and all the people exiting the ship and knew she was going to have to pack up so they could head out. They were arriving a little later than the itinerary said, but she was eager to get in the ocean.

She always wanted to go snorkeling, and it looked as though Carisi and the kids were wanting to join. Jesse was a little too young unfortunately, but she did plan on building the biggest sandcastle she could with her daughter, because she had developed a recent obsession with them when Amanda flipped through some pictures of the beaches with her before they left the city.

The good thing about kids this young was that they were incredibly easy to please.

"Hey guys," she yelled down to them, noticing the time. They were all dressed and set to get off the boat, and they were supposed to be meeting up at the docking station in less than five minutes. She had to yell a few more times to Carisi, who had been tackled by Noah in the fake grass, before he finally heard her and ushered the kids down off the play mat so they could take off.

"Mommy, we go see fishy now?"

Amanda winced and nodded, lifting her daughter easily up into her arms. Noah lead them out from the balcony, trying his best to navigate them back the way he thought they came. Carisi steered him down a hallway near the elevators that lead to their rooms, but bypassed them in favor of heading towards the dock.

Fortunately, the line had slimmed down to almost nothing, and Rafael and Liv stood by one of the windows, looking out at the scenery. Noah took off for them immediately, slamming into the back of Rafael's legs and surprising both of them.

"Finally," Rita said, appearing next to them, coming in from one of the decks with her hand entwined with Fin's. "I'm dying for a tequila shot."

Amanda was slightly shocked at just how much Rita could drink and still remain upright, but the woman had explained she rarely drank much at home. Amanda could understand that. She drank more in the city than she had on this vacation, the exact opposite of the defense attorney.

"I'm dying to get on that beach. I want to be nice and bronze by the time I get home."

"You're gonna look like a tomato by the time we get back to the ship," Carisi quipped next to her, snapping pictures of all of them on his phone. She hid her face behind Jesse's head, not feeling up to posing for anything. Rita did much of the same, but Fin smiled over their heads.

"Yeah, but it'll fade and I'll have a nice tan afterwards. You're the one who's gonna look like a tomato the entire time. I swear he's the only person I've ever seen not tan. It's weird."

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled, finally catching up with Rafael, Liv, and Noah, who were immediately greeted with Carisi's bright flash. Rafael looked none too pleased as the flash blinded him, and he quickly slid his sunglasses onto his face, not bothering to hide his scowl. Liv pointed her finger in warning at Carisi, and the man wisely directed his phone away from her face. Instead, he pointed it at Noah, who was holding Rafael's hand and excitedly talking about the fish.

They all descended down to the dock and were out of the ship in no time flat, taking in the fresh air and the new atmosphere of Cabo San Lucas. It was a busy city and many of their cruise mates had already set up shop on the beach and were milling around the restaurants and some shops.

Mingled with the fresh air came the fumes from the ships and cars on the streets, along with the smell of delicious food and the salty air of the ocean. Once they were on land, they each took off in their own directions. Rita and Fin crossed the street to a bustling outdoor restaurant, intent on getting some food before they hit the water. The rest raced towards the beach, searching for the perfect spot to set up camp.

* * *

Mendoza was sweating bullets from the hot sun beating down on them, and the concrete roof of this resort didn't help, but he had a perfect view of the ship and the tourists walking off of it, pointing at the beaches or the various restaurants along the beach. He had spotted a few candidates that were worthy, but most of them were far too old. They wanted little kids that could capture the hearts of the media, and that would distract enough so they could get their payload across the border with little effort.

Millions of dollars were at stake here, and he almost guaranteed they could pull this off. Take some kids, lock them up for a few days, draw national media attention, get their truck to its destination in Arizona, and the kids would be let go back to their parents to return home safely.

It was fool proof, no one would die, and he would be sitting on 10 Million, easily, by the time he returned home. It was the perfect plan.

Now? He had to find a few kids young enough. He had scouts walking along the beaches and standing near the port, but none had reported back to him yet on potentials. There were less and less people walking out of the ship, with no children or babies. He wouldn't kidnap a baby.

He lowered the binoculars and grabbed his bottle of water that sat in the limited shaded area provided by the roof, dumping some more over the top of his head. He would have to get out of this heat soon or he was going to pass out. Maybe, after all was said and done, he could jump in the ocean quickly before they high-tailed it to the outskirts of town where their well-hidden safe house was.

But he couldn't do that until he had targets.

He raised the binoculars again and immediately perked up upon finding the docking station again. A group of adults with two very young children walked, talking with each other. Two of them immediately broke away and walked out of his line of vision, while the other six made their way down onto the beach. Mendoza smiled, keeping his eyes on them the entire time they laid out their towels and stripped down to their swimsuits.

The women didn't look like they could put up much of a fight, and neither did the men. He was guessing they were couples vacationing together with their children. Perfect, little, happy families…they would probably make great statements on the news. The women would cry and their husbands would stand by their sides, solemn looking as they held pictures of their missing children.

"Encontré nuestros objetivos,"* he said, loud enough to grab one of his associates attention. He felt the man approach and raise his own binoculars, directing him towards where he was looking. "They're perfect."

"Call it in?"

"No," Mendoza shook his head and lowered his binoculars. He pulled his pack of cigarettes from his pocket and quickly lit one, offering one to his associate, who declined. "Let them get comfortable."

He exhaled a puff of smoke that left with the breeze, relaxing as the cool air coming off the ocean hit his sweaty skin. "Keep your eyes on them. I'll tell you when it's time to go."

* * *

 **Sunday – 6:45 p.m.**

The sun was dipping lower in the sky, and the lights surrounding the marina and the other buildings that loitered the beach front had turned on their lights. They all agreed to at least stay to watch the sunset before they went in search of dinner, and eventually retired for the night.

Liv smiled and waved at Noah, who was splashing and playing around in the shallow end of the water with Rafa. Further up the beach, Amanda was walking the shore line with Jesse, searching for seashells to add to the small collection hidden away in the pocket of Amanda's jean shorts. Rita, Fin, and Carisi were heading back in from further out in the ocean on their jet skis, leaving Liv unattended by their towels. She had gotten a decent amount of sun and already slipped her cover up back on her head, and just enjoyed watching her son and her...boyfriend? It sounded childish to her, but what other word could she use?

She giggled when Rafael nearly lost his footing and went sailing into the sand but jumped a moment later when a man chuckled beside her. She turned her head and looked up, locking eyes with this stranger who was smoking a cigarette. The smoke blew in her face a little, which she didn't appreciate.

"Your husband's a little clumsy, yes?"

He had a thick accent and his English wasn't stellar. He was a native most likely. His voice low and raspy though, and he was looking at her with a smile that made her shiver unpleasantly. She waved off that feeling though and smiled back at him, "My boyfriend, actually."

"Ah, I see. That's your son, right?"

Liv tried to fight the urge to ask this man why he wanted to know. He was staring at him out in the water, but she talked herself into chalking it up to curiosity and nothing more. She had been trying her hardest not to put every stranger who smiled at her kid into the Sheila category, and she liked to think she'd been doing a good job. A few people commented on just how adorable her son was throughout the day, but those comments had been by other parents or older people passing by.

This was some random man who had looked away from her son and was now looking down at her. Or, more approximately, her cleavage. She shifted and leaned forward a little, blocking his view and nodded her head, not daring to say any words. He was probably just a friendly local who gave off that creepy vibe. Nothing more.

At least, that's what she was trying to tell herself.

"You are from the cruise? From America?"

Liv nodded again and decided to stand. She was feeling at a big of a disadvantage sitting in the sand while he stood right next to her. She put some distance between him when she noticed that Rafael and Noah were walking back in from the water. She was grateful when she noticed that Fin, Rita, and Carisi had made it back in from the water as well, and they were all returning their keys and life vests to the stand just a few feet from where they were.

"First time in Mexico?"

She nodded, not wanting to tell him she'd been in Cancún before on a vacation a long time ago. She wasn't sure why, but something told her she didn't want to get too friendly with him.

"You like it here. Many beautiful things to see."

By the time the words were leaving his mouth, Noah had run up to her and jumped up in the air, holding a cool looking rock he picked up from the shallow end of the water. He stopped though, when he noticed the man beside her smiling down at him. He squatted down and pulled the cigarette from his mouth, "Hola, amigo. ¿Cuál es su nombre?"**

Noah scrunched up his nose and furrowed his brow, "Huh?"

The man laughed loudly, and Liv caught Rafael's eye as he came to a stop next to her. He gave her a look and she shrugged her shoulders, looking incredibly uncomfortable. Rafael looked unsure himself, not really liking this random man getting in Noah's face like that, although Noah didn't seem too worried. Not even when this stranger reached over and brushed some of the wet curls off his face.

Liv's hand immediately clenched into a fist, but Rafael grabbed her wrist, trying to keep her calm.

"Hola!" Rafael interjected loudly and held out his hand to the man. He rose and shook it, smile falling a little. Liv guided Noah away towards the blankets and pretended to be super interested in what he was saying about his rock.

She watched as the two men conversed quietly in Spanish, eventually sharing a laugh. This stranger patted Rafael on the back and waved goodbye to them, walking away towards the stair case that lead back onto the pedestrian path away from the beach. She watched as he turned back to glance further down the beach for just a second before he walked out sight completely.

"You ok?"

Liv looked up at Rafael, who was slipping his shirt back and drying his lower half that was still dripping wet. She nodded, looking slightly perturbed. She sighed and rubbed the back of her neck, feeling tension building. "Just…you know."

"Yeah, I know. He was just some guy, though. Nothing to worry about. Ok?"

Liv nodded and kissed him on the lips, uncaring if any of their friends saw them. She drew comfort from his gentle touch and words. She dropped down to her knees and decided to help Noah dry off, since the boy was doing little more than kicking up sand doing so himself.

She did her best to rid her thoughts of the man and instead, focused on her growing hunger. She was starving, and she knew both of her boys had to be as well. There was a little outdoor restaurant just a half-mile away they all agreed on trying earlier. Carisi voiced the same uncomfortable hungry feeling as soon as he and the others rejoined them, and they were packed and headed towards the restuarant in no time. She hung back a little with Rafael, fingers laced with his as they took their time.

"How about we take a walk later? Just you and me? I've always wanted to go for a moonlit stroll. Plus, we can talk about what we're going to do once we get back in the city."

She really liked the sound of that. Just the two of them under the moonlight, walking along the shore with the water lapping at their feet. It sounded incredibly romantic and the perfect time for them to talk some more. Their futures weren't exactly set in stone for when they got back and they couldn't exactly talk when Noah was asleep just a two feet away from them.

"Well, obviously, you're going to have to move in. Noah is all but going to demand you share his bedroom with him."

Rafael laughed loudly, and unlaced their fingers so he could wrap his arm around her waist and pull her closer. "That's not exactly the bedroom I would be hoping to share."

"Oh, I have no doubt you would if he asked you too with those big, puppy dog eyes he has."

"Eh. Probably. But I would try and put up a fight."

"You would lose, you know."

"Yeah," he shrugged and kissed her temple, "I know."

* * *

The restaurant they ate at was beyond amazing, Rafael was convinced.

He'd never really been into Mexican food, even living in the city. He was a Cuban kid from the Bronx, and he never ate much of anything else as a kid. He lived in an area of the projects with people just like him, and foods like spaghetti and french fries, and Chinese food weren't part of his everyday life until he was old enough to go out and buy it himself.

However, he was going to have to dive more into Mexican cuisine, because he polished off the plate of spicy Mexican rice and tamales he ordered. Of course, spending hours in the ocean, chasing after Noah probably attributed to his overwhelming hunger. Or that's what he told himself as he ordered the chocolatiest thing on the dessert menu. He felt better when the entire table ordered dessert, so he didn't feel like such a bottomless pit.

"When do we leave tomorrow? I wanna go parasailing before we leave," Rita asked between sips of her margarita. Amanda was quick to answer, "Noon. I plan on shopping tomorrow. I told Stone I would bring him a puka shell necklace."

The entire table stopped to look at her, and her cheeks grew red at the slip of the tongue. It was obvious she hadn't meant to say it out loud. She cleared her throat, "But, anyway, after that we have a full day at sea and then we land in Puerto Vallarta."

"Raf," Noah said quietly, tugging on the sleeve of his t-shirt impatiently. Liv looked down at him at the same time, hearing his voice, "I have to go potty."

"Ok, I'll take you. C'mon." Liv winked at him and watched them depart before she turned back to the conversation at the table, leaving them to head down the narrow hallway to the bathroom. He opened the creaky door, seeing three stalls with only one open. He ushered him into the third one and closed the door, promising him that he would stand in front of it while he went.

He looked in the mirror across from him, running his hand through his unruly hair and scratching his chin. He kind of liked the scruff and he knew, from earlier that morning, that Liv definitely liked the scruff, and he thought about keeping it. He was in need of a slightly different look, anyway.

Both of the stall doors opened next to him at the same time, and two men stepped out, both of them silent as they looked at him with intimidating expressions. Rafael did his best to avoid eye contact, feeling a little uncomfortable. But, he couldn't help but notice they were both wearing bulky sweaters, which was odd, considering it wasn't even remotely close to being cold outside. He found it odd, as well, that they were both dressed similarly, with beanies on their heads and sunglasses covering their faces.

An uneasy feeling crept over him and he quickly ushered Noah to the sink to wash his hands as soon as he was done. Noah didn't have a problem looking at both men, and smiled when the one closest to him looked down at him. Rafael didn't look though. He was too concerned with getting paper towels out of the broken dispenser on the wall, trying not to notice that both of these men were taking a suspiciously long amount of time to was their hands.

"Ok, dry your hands," he told Noah, helping him to do it faster than he normally would. He discarded the paper in the overflowing trash can and grabbed his hand, pulling the boy behind, desperate to leave the men behind. He noticed when both of their sinks finally stopped running water and their footsteps shuffled after him.

He swung the door open and stepped out, intent on booking it back down the narrow hallway and to the crowded seating area, where he would feel safer surrounded by a bunch of cops, but stopped cold when he was met with a barrel of gun inches from his nose.

He felt Noah tense up next to him and squeeze his hand harder, pushing himself into his legs. Behind the gun was the man from earlier, who had told Rafael that his name was Juan, and that he was a local that took daily walks along the beach.

But, it was quite evident that had been a lie. He knew now what the man had been doing, as he saw his eyes travel down to Noah, who had shoved his little body as close as he could into his side. Rafael could feel him shaking; he could feel the fear rolling off him in waves.

Rafael swallowed the lump in his throat, tightening his grip on Noah's hand as he tried to breathe. He could feel the breeze blow past him as the bathroom door they just walked out of opened up behind him. The two men from earlier crowded around them, one of them shoving the a gun into the small of his back.

Rafael flinched slightly, but didn't dare look anywhere but at this man in front of him.

"Hola, amigo."

The words sent a chill racing down his spine and he gulped, mouth opening to say something, anything, to alert someone, or to even say something placating to get them to possibly stop pressing guns into his back or in his face.

He didn't say anything, though. Instead, Noah opened his mouth and loudly shouted down the hall, voice thick with terrified tears. The word was out of his mouth before Rafael could stop him, and he winced when it bounced off the narrow hallway walls and floated out into the restaurant, no doubt garnering the attention of the person he called to.

"Mommy!"

* * *

*Encontré nuestros objetivos - I found our targets.

**Hola, amigo. ¿Cuál es su nombre? - Hello, friend. What's your name?


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Oooo you're gonna hate me. I promise nothing bad is going to happen to Jesse and Noah. Rafa on the other hand...I don't own SVU or its characters. ENJOY.

* * *

 **Sunday – 8:47 p.m.**

As soon as she heard it she was out of her seat.

The rest of the table perked up at that too, as well as the surrounding tables, all trying to figure out where the loud cry for her came from. Liv looked around wildly, forcing Fin and Carisi out of their seats, both men alert, as well as Amanda, who remained seated with Jesse on her lap.

She moved past a few tables, spotting the bathroom sign and she moved swiftly towards it, pushing past a waiter who was looking down the narrow hallway, a shocked look on his face. When Liv turned the corner, she stopped cold, seeing a gun pointing directly at her.

She hit the ground, not before the bullet could graze her cheek and she felt blood exploding against her back. The horrified screams and the patrons of the restaurant scattering disoriented her for a second, but she was back on her feet, just in time to see Rafael and Noah being forcibly dragged to a dark van that had pulled up in front of the restaurants, with a man shouting in Spanish and holding an automatic weapon.

Liv scrabbled across the floor after them, able to grab onto the shoes of one of the men, but he kicked her off and aimed the gun at her again. She rolled away just as the shot splintered into the wood by her head, the ringing in her eyes impossibly loud.

* * *

Carisi and Fin practically raced over Liv, leaving Rita and Amanda with Jesse to duck under the table. Amanda cradled Jesse to her chest, breathing harshly and trying to keep her squirming child from breaking away from her. There was chaos all around, but Rita moved closer to her, trying to get her to move.

She took a deep breath and stood up, prepared to race out of the restaurant to safety with her daughter, but was met with a hook to the face that forced her flat on her back. Blood exploded from her nose and her hands loosened just the slightest on Jesse's body, but it was enough that a man with a bandana over his mouth and a gun in his hand was able to yank her out of her arms by the back of her shirt.

Amanda screamed and sat up immediately, just in time to see Rita knocked to the ground, out cold. There was a heart stopping moment when all she could do was stare as her daughter, screaming and crying over the man's shoulder, terrified, but she sprang into action.

She reached for a steak knife on the table and raced after the man. Carisi had seen everything and joined her, running after the man, but he had too much of a lead on them. He made it into the van and the door slammed shut before they could both reach it.

The wheels of the van screeched loudly on the street and peeled away, leaving the sand to kick up and blind them, but in a last-ditch effort, Carisi took off down the street, yelling at them to stop uselessly. Amanda dropped to her knees, an anguished cry escaping her lips. The knife in her hand slipped to the ground as her vision blurred.

* * *

"No, no, no, no, not again, Fin. Please tell me not again. Please!"

Liv was wide eyed, tears dripping furiously down her cheeks as she gripped his biceps, nails digging into his skin. Her lip trembled and her hair was wild around her face, but he just shook his head and tried to get the words to come out.

Everything happened so quickly, he wasn't even sure where everyone had gone. He saw the van, and he saw Noah trying to scramble out of the door before it closed. He saw Carisi take off and Amanda with a knife, and he didn't know where Rita was, but that was it. Liv shook on the ground, near hysterics and Carisi was nowhere to be seen now. Neither was Barba.

"Liv, calm down," he said loudly, grabbing hold of her arms and hauling her up. He grimaced when he saw a man, face planted into his plate, with half of his head missing and some of the contents on Liv's neck and face and in her hair.

"Fuck," he whispered, half-carrying her to an empty seat. He could hear sirens growing closer in the distance and as he cleared a few tables, he could see Amanda passed out on the ground, blood dripping from her nose. A few feet away, he could see Rita on her hands and knees, disoriented with blood dripping from her nose as well.

He cursed, unsure of who to run. He could see Carisi running back full speed at them, a police car tailing him with a few officers hanging off the side. They had seen police cars full of officers patrolling the area all day, and he was glad for that. The faster they got there, the more likely they were to be able to catch up to the van.

"Oh God," Liv cried, leaning forward and rocking back and forth in the chair. Fin closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down. He was near a breakdown himself, the adrenaline pumping through his veins making his heart race and beat so loud in his chest, he could barely hear a word Carisi said when he made it back to them.

* * *

The moment he was in the van, Rafael knew this wasn't going to end well.

His back hit the back of the van wall so hard he lost his breath and struggled to get it back, gasping as he grasped for any surface he could grab onto. Noah was at his side, but he shot away from just as quickly, calling for Liv, his little hand outstretched and his voice a shrill cry above the yelling coming from the front seat of the van.

He leaned forward to catch Noah when the man with the huge gun pushed him back without care, and he pressed Noah to his chest, quieting him the best he could with his shaking voice. There were a few terrifying seconds where he could see Amanda and Carisi running up to the van and with startling clarity, he saw that Jesse had been snatched as well, and was hanging over a masked man's back like carelessly.

Rafael reached up and grabbed her, hugging both of the kids close to his chest. He tried taking a few calming breaths because his heart was beating so hard and his vision was beginning to blur. He could feel both kids trying to burrow themselves into his body, and he did his best to keep a hold on them as they squirmed in his arms.

The van lurched forward, sending him tumbling a bit to the side as the door to the van slammed loudly, descending them into darkness. His harsh breathing was the only sound before a light from the ceiling flooded the back of the van, giving him a clear view of his surroundings.

A gun was shoved in his face, so close he could smell metal, and three men were crouched in the back of the van. Two sat in the front, from what he could see, and all of them were masked, except-

"You have ten seconds to shut them up or I'll beat you half to death with this bat."

Rafael looked at Juan, who swung a wooden baseball bat up and rested it against his shoulder. Rafael stared at him, trying to decipher if there was any truth behind the words, and when Juan began to slowly count down, he knew there was. That, coupled with the deadly way his hand gripped the tape wrapped handle of the bat, told him he was serious.

He went about trying to calm down a hysteric Noah and sobbing Jesse, shushing them both to no avail. He started to panic as Juan continued counting down, slight humor coloring his voice as Rafael grew more and more frantic.

"Noah, buddy, look at me," he said quietly, cupping the boy's face in his hands. Noah hiccupped and stopped crying, looking at Rafael with all of the trust in the world. "It's going to be ok. Stop crying for me please. Ok? Just stop crying and breathe."

Noah nodded, coughing and hiccupping as he shoved his little face into his neck. Rafael sighed and moved onto Jesse, with whom he had little experience with. The girl tended to shy away from him a little, only really coming up to him when Noah was present, so he used that to his advantage.

"Jesse, honey, calm down." The little girl looked up at him, fists curled into his shirt, but she didn't stop crying. It took several more attempts to even get her loud sobs to quiet into soft little cries against his chest and by the time she actually had quieted down some, Juan was starting at him, bat propped up against his leg. He leaned back against the back doors of the van and pulled out a cigarette, staring the children as if he was trying to figure them out.

It fell quiet for a few minutes as he continued to keep the kids as calm as possible. Noah had stopped crying all together and was just wrapped around him now, while Jesse still cried into his shirt, her little wracking with silent sobs, but calmer than she had been.

Rafael looked back over at Juan, ignoring the fact that there was gun still shoved in his face and he dared to speak, "What are you going to do."

Juan leaned forward and blew a puff a smoke towards them, "I'm not going to hurt them, if that's what you're worried about. Or you. You're merely a distraction." With those words acting as a balm to the fear he had of dying at the hands of these guys, he calmed considerably, making way for anger. His brow furrowed and his lip curled.

"You don't need them, then. You can take me."

Juan snorted and pulled out a flip phone that looked beat up and had seen better days. It was a burner, Rafael was almost positive. He'd seen quite a few in his days at the DA's office. "You won't capture the attention of the world, my friend. You'll be just another tourist that took one step too far out of town."

Rafael stayed still, staring at the camera until he heard a shutter, like the sound of a camera. Juan took a few more shots before he fiddled around and pressed a few buttons. He snapped the phone closed and gestured at the kids in his arms, "Them, on the other hand…there will be cries from your country to save these poor children. They'll care more about them, less about you."

Rafael had no qualms about that. He also had care in the world about his own safety. He wasn't quite believing of this man, and he wouldn't until they were released or forced to find a way out. He didn't watch Juan crawl back to his place leaning against the side of the van. He just focused on keeping the kids calm and cradled to him, trying to convey to them that they were safe without the use of words.

* * *

It felt like an hour later when the van finally stopped. They had gone up and over some rough terrain and Rafael's legs had fallen asleep along with the children he was supporting. Jesse was the first pass out, dried tear tracks on her sweet little face and her fists still curled around in the fabric of his shirt. Noah fell asleep only fifteen minutes or so ago, his face still hidden in his neck.

The gun had eventually been removed from his face, allowing him to get somewhat comfortable, but not completely. His back burned and the side of his head, where he'd slammed into the van wall when he was thrown in.

The man with the bandana in front of him flipped off the van light and threw open the door, revealing a few flood lights lighting up a small cabin like building. Rafael waited until everyone vacated the van, listening to them speak in Spanish. It was muttered under their breath, because Juan was aware he spoke Spanish himself. He supposed if they hadn't grabbed someone who was fluent, more threats would have been made just to freak out the poor soul this could have happened to.

"Hey. Get up. C'mon I don't have all day," Juan said into the car, his voice tripping over the words in English. He repeated them again in Spanish, with more volume and the bat he had earlier raised.

Rafael shook both of the kids lightly, bringing them back to reality. Noah seemed calmer after he woke up, but he still refused to move from his side against Rafael. Meanwhile, Jesse woke up, looked around, called for Amanda and then descended into tears once more. Rafael did the best he could, maneuvering himself out of the van with both children, but his legs were asleep and he was finding it difficult to move.

Once he got to the edge of the van and planted his feet on the dirt ground, Juan cooed and Jesse and reached out, trying to grab her under her arms to pluck her out of his grasp. Rafael moved swiftly away, feeling the pins and needles dance up his legs and nearly snarled at Juan, "Don't you fucking touch her."

Juan seemed a little taken aback by the comment, and then shook his head, snorting as he walked past them. He nodded at one of his associates, that stood near the door of the cabin/house and the man swung the door open, revealing dim lights. Rafael readjusted his grip on the kids, his arms tired and his back burning, but he moved forward quickly, refusing to look at the men staring him down.

Once inside, he stood by the doorway and watched Juan turn on a lamp on a nightstand by the bed, further illuminating the small space. And it was incredibly small. A tiny kitchen area with an old stove and fridge took up the entire left side of the space, connected to a small room that had to be where the facilities were. On the right side was a couch and a bookshelf that had a few books on it, coupled with what looked like DVD's. Next to it was a small television with a DVD player attached to it. All of this lead to the queen size bed that looked like it hadn't been used in years.

"This is your new home for the next week. That's how long it should take us to do what we need to do and get out of here before your American government comes to rescue you."

"A week?"

"A week…maybe more. Who's counting."

Juan moved past him and pointed at the fridge and cabinets. "There's food and water. Some kid's movies to keep them entertained. There aren't any forks or knives or anything sharp that you could use to attack, so you gonna have to use your hands."

Rafael looked at him, face twisted in confusion. Juan stopped and raised his arms, "What, you think we're some fucking animals? I told you we weren't going to hurt them."

Juan smiled and exited, slamming the door closed behind him. Rafael listened for a few minutes by the door since there were no windows for him to look out of. When he was confident the vehicle had left, he walked both of the kids over to the bed and struggled to get them to let go of his neck and shirt.

"I'm coming right back, ok? I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to look outside," he tried to reassure. Noah started crying again, doing nothing but spurring Jesse back into hysterics. Rafael sighed and sat down on the bed with them, pulling them back into his chest. He began to rock them back and forth, humming some sort of tune that was pulling at the back of his mind. Later, he would realize it was the same tune his grandmother used to hum to him whenever his father went on one of his drunken rampages.

He looked around the small, windowless house he found himself in almost, _almost_ , wished he was dealing with his drunken father right now instead of this.

* * *

 **Sunday – 10:02 p.m.**

It was a fucking chaotic mess by the time they got any answers.

Amanda was sitting in the back of an ambulance, inconsolable as they cleaned up the mess from her broken nose and tried pleading with her, in broken English to go to the hospital. Liv was still sitting in the dining room, refusing to move and curled into herself, tears never stopping as she mumbled something over and over to herself.

Fin sat with Rita rubbing her back as she tried to stop the bleeding from her nose that was still intact, and Carisi…well he didn't know what to do other than lose his mind. He'd been trailing behind the Captain of the force down there, who spoke better English than the rest, but who avoided telling him anything other than placating words so he would stop following them.

The boat officials were down there on the ground as well, taking count of all of their passengers, with whom they called back to the boat. As soon as they had a headcount and could assess the situation, which could take hours, they were leaving the port and sailing back to Los Angeles.

Which was a predicament they were finding themselves in. None of them were leaving without Rafael, Noah, and Jesse safely back with them, but that would force them get their shit from the ship and get a hotel there somewhere. Liv and Amanda were in no mood to make any decisions on that front, both women barely holding it together as it was, so he went to Fin, where they sat discussing everything.

"I heard someone say cartel."

"Cartel activity? They avoid tourist cities."

"Didn't you read that story a few months ago? They hung a couple bodies from an overpass further into the city. Freaked everyone out. They claimed that was the only incident, though, and we know that's a big fucking lie now."

Rita and Fin shook their heads, watching a few officers walking the area, scanning the ground for anything. They didn't seem to be doing much, which was a serious problem for all of them.

"If it's cartel activity…what are the odds that these people are going to do much. You know how corrupt this government is?"

Carisi nodded, having heard plenty of stories. They turned their heads to the violence because of the outrageous money they gained from the drug trade. For a country that was borderline poor, there was no wonder as to they never tried to put a stop to it. He had never thought much of the cartels up until this point. Until they had just snatched people he cared about.

Children…who kidnapped children? Sick fuckers did.

"There's only one upside to this entire thing," Fin said lowly, drawing Carisi back in, "Is that Barba isn't gonna let anything happen to them. Plus, he can talk his way in and out of pretty much anything. It'll buy us some time probably."

Carisi looked over Fin's shoulder at Liv, who was still in the chair and still hadn't moved. His eyes found Amanda, who was sobbing into her hands. He'd never seen either woman like this, and it was working his emotion so hard he was near tears himself.

"Uh…excuse me," a man appeared next to them, dressed in clothing that told them he was part of the cruise line crew. "I'm sorry to interrupt…I suggest you all head back to your cabins. It's too dangerous for you to be out here now and we need a headcount so we can head back to LA."

Fin stood up and shook his head, "We're not going. We'll get our stuff and get off the boat."

The attendant looked a little struck by the statement, and tried to reword his phrase, like they didn't understand what he said in the first place. Carisi stepped in, finger pointed at his chest and his sudden anger exploding.

"We just had two kids and good friend kidnapped right in front of us. We'll get our shit and get out. We're not going back to LA!" Fin stepped up and pushed back on Carisi's chest, trying to avoid drawing attention to them or cause a scene. The attendant was wide-eyed as he asked, "They were with you?"

"Yeah. Like we said, we'll get our stuff off the ship, but we're not going back with you."

"Ok," the attendant said quickly, "I'll report to the headquarters. They'll want to know the reason why."

Fin stopped the man before he could walk away with a hand on the shoulder, "Wait. Did you already tell them the whole reason why you're headed back? Did you tell them that there were two kids and a man abducted that were on your cruise line?"

The man nodded, "Yes, sir. We had to. It was the only way to ensure our passengers could get full refunds for the trouble."

Carisi interjected now, calmed down some, "Do they release that info to the media?"

The man nodded again, "Legally we have to release information like this. I also suspect some of the passengers will have called home and said something by the now. The media will probably be all over soon."

Carisi, Fin, and Rita all looked at each other and then at the sea of the local police, still scouring the area and talking in large groups of people. They didn't notice the attendant walking away and back to the other two attendants that were waiting for him by the street.

"Well…if they won't do anything about it…our guys will."

* * *

It took nearly an hour, but the kids were passed out asleep on the bed finally, nestled together under a blanket on one side of the bed.

Rafael slipped off and moved further into the room, inspecting the cabinets of the kitchen and thoroughly, to make sure there weren't any tricks being played. All he found was some unhealthy junk foods that would keep them fed for a while, and he was grateful for that. That was one thing he didn't need to worry about yet.

He inspected the book case as well, seeing some Mexican cartoon DVD's that had seen better days propped up next to the bible and a few American classics translated into Spanish. There wasn't much more to this tiny space, other than the bathroom, where they had running water.

He found it a little odd they set up prisoners so nice, but he suspected it was because of the kids. Part of him wondered what it would have been like had these conditions not been so nice, or what if they hadn't chosen to take Rafael with them. His stomach churned at the image of them bound in chains and shoved in a metal cage. There were far worse scenarios they could have found themselves in, and it calmed him to know they weren't going to be facing harsh conditions.

Rafael sighed and splashed some water on his face in the bathroom, trying to rid himself of the grimy feeling. He wasn't going to attempt to take a shower…not until he had more answers from Juan. The man seemed to think he had given him enough of an explanation, but Rafael would persist until he got a time frame.

Two other little lives were depending on him, and he needed answers.

He thought of both Liv and Amanda, probably out of their minds with worry and thinking the worst. He wished he could talk to them, but his cell phone was buried somewhere at the bottom of Liv's beach bag because he had been in the water. He cursed and hung his head, trying to take a few deep breaths to calm down.

He exited the bathroom and flipped the lights off, intending to crawl into the bed with the kids and cuddle them until he lulled himself to sleep. Just as he was about to slip under the covers, the door swung open and revealed two large men, walking straight towards him. He didn't move, too afraid of what might happen if he did. They were holding guns, but they didn't have them pointed and they didn't even spare glances at the kids.

Instead, they grabbed him by the arms and drug him out of the house, causing him to stumble a little at the excessive force. He grunted when he hit the ground hard outside, scraping his legs and arms on the rocky dirt. The door the house closed, cutting off the light that was pooling outside.

A moment later, there was a bright white light and rained down on him and someone from behind yanked his hair back, forcing his head up and his eyes to make direct contact with the light. He winced and blinked a few times, squinting his eyes when the light was moved out of his face.

Above him was a camera with a blinking red light. It looked old and worn and behind it was Juan, who was smiling a little too much for his liking.

"Smile for the camera. You're about to a big star in America."

Rafael didn't have time to respond as the side of a bat connected with his face.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: FILLER. I had to punch this little bit out so I could get to the juicy stuff. Also, I'm proud of myself for getting this typed up while I had my nieces and nephews running around my house and raising hell. This chapter may seem boring, but I kind of wanted to dive into their minds and see where they are emotionally before I put them through more hell. Anyway, next chapter will be soon, hopefully! I don't own SVU or its characters. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Monday – 12:43 a.m.**

"Here's the last of it."

Carisi grunted as he dropped the bags in the hotel room, his arms feeling like they were going to rip off.

He chanced a look over at Liv and Amanda, who sat on the bed by each other, Liv's arm around Amanda's back as they both looked out at the cruise ship departing from the dock. The crew had helped Carisi and Fin pack up all of their stuff and deposited it right in front of the resort, who willingly comped a few nights for them given the circumstances.

Fin walked in behind him with Rita's last bag and dropped it by the rest, looking exhausted and emotionally worn out like the rest of them. The police were still working down on the streets, scouring for anything that could give them clues to the abduction, but they had yet to see any of them actually do anything much of importance. The Captain, who had made his presence known, hadn't talk to any of them about the details of what happened. Instead, he strutted around down there, dealing with the hysteric tourist from Russia whose husband was shot and killed within the restaurant. So far, that was their only casualty.

Apparently, if Carisi heard correctly, that was strange for a cartel abduction.

"This is ridiculous…why haven't they said anything to us? We're sitting here waiting for some information and all they've done is talk amongst themselves."

Carisi eyed Amanda and Liv, who still hadn't moved or hadn't made any sound period. He rubbed at his eyes, feeling pure exhaustion creep up on him. He could pass out now, but it would be a fitful rest, and he wasn't going down until he talked to someone.

Fin wasn't either, but Rita looked dangerously close to passing out on the double bed. She had taken a pretty hard hit, and her eyes had been drooping for the past half hour. Fin noticed too, so he helped her up off the bed and lead her into the adjoining room, announcing he was going to get her settled. Carisi watched them go, glad he left the door open just in case.

With everything that had just transpired, he didn't feel safe anymore. Not one bit. He felt helpless and out in the open, almost like they all had targets on their backs. It didn't feel like a random crime either. It almost felt set-up in a way.

"Sonny," Amanda called from the bed, her voice still thick with tears. He jumped to attention immediately and leaned over on the bed, getting close to her, "Can you get us some water, please?"

"Yeah," he said quickly and jumped off the bed. There were a few spare ones they took with them in Amanda's bag and he got them one of each, handing placing them in their hands rather than passing them over. Both of them had red-rimmed eyes and solemn expressions, neither one saying much of anything.

It was scary how unfamiliar it felt to see them both like this. Quiet, meek…they weren't like this in everyday life. They were strong women that handled tough shit. But, when it came to their kids…

His hand clenched into a fist thinking about Jesse. That girl had come to be like a daughter to him and if anyone ever hurt her he'd-

The loud knocks on the door broke his strain of thought and he hurried over to the door, looking through the peep hole. Two men stood outside, but they were dressed in jeans and button-downs with badges around their necks. Carisi furrowed his brow but opened the door anyway.

"Yeah?"

"Hi, how are you?"

Carisi was skeptical, looking at this man who had his hand outstretched towards him. He took it hesitantly, until he got a closer look at the badges and looked back up at them. They were American, that was for sure. The first man spoke with a heavy southern accent, and a blonde mustache that resembled an 80's pornstar more than anything. The second man had dark skin and a shaved head, both dressed down in clothes that were typical of undercover officers.

"DEA?"

"The one and only," the man with the accent smiled and nodded towards the room, passing by Carisi with a pat on the shoulder. Carisi let the other man threw, who didn't say anything and closed the door behind them.

"Who are they?"

Fin closed the adjoining room door behind him, a guarded expression on his face. The two men had caught the attention of Amanda and Liv, who stared them from the bed. "Name is Garver," the southern said cheerfully, "and this is Barnes. We're agents with the U.S. DEA."

Fin and Barnes nodded at each other, before he turned his attention to Garver, who had pulled cellphone out of his pocket and was tapping away at it. Carisi and Fin shared an unsure look before Fin decided to ask another question.

"You guys undercover out here or something?"

"Yep. Have been for a good two years now," Garver answered, typing something in on the screen. Barnes moved around the room, nodding at both women who didn't even acknowledge it. They were looking at him warily, and with, "You all the tourists who got their kids taken?"

"Yeah," Carisi jumped in, giving the man the evil eye, "Why do you need to know."

"Well, we deal with anything and everything cartel related. This was a cartel hit. We just don't know which one yet and why."

"How are you so sure?"

"Well, first off, we've had reports all day of cartel soldiers within the city limits, walking around. We also have a mostly confirmed citing of a well-known Sicario, with ties back to the Knights Templar." Garver turned his phone to the side as a video loaded up and he turned it around so both Carisi and Fin could see the screen. "Also, a video was uploaded a little over a half hour ago to Facebook, and it's already been view a good million times from an untraceable account."

The video took a minute to buffer, but when it did finally load, they were staring at Barba, who was passed out cold on the ground, cuts and bruises loitering his face. The camera did a slow zoom up and down his body, showcasing the various bruises that had marred his skin.

A bare foot appeared out in front of the camera and kicked his head over to the other side, revealing one of his eyes swollen shut. They could barely hear an audible groan coming from him, the only sign that he was still alive and breathing.

"Jesus," Carisi covered his mouth and Fin just stared at the screen grimly. Liv and Amanda chose that moment to join them, and Liv choked on a sob at the sight that greeted her. The camera zoomed in on Barba's face, showing fresh blood oozing from a large cut on his cheek. He looked like hell, and like he'd been through something none of them wanted to imagine going through as the camera panned up and revealed a bunch of masked men, holding knives and guns and baseball bats.

"Oh my God," Liv said and turned away, tears escaping from her tired eyes. Amanda placed a hand on her shoulder as the screen went black, a hand obviously covering the lenses as footsteps were heard. They all stood there, staring at a blank screen for a good thirty seconds, before the hand was lifted to reveal both Noah and Jesse, sound asleep in a bed.

They all gasped, and Amanda turned Liv around to show her the screen, where both of their children were unharmed and sound asleep.

Then the camera cut off, and the screen went black on the phone. Garver shoved it back in his pocket, and turned to look at both Amanda and Liv, who stood in shock in front of him. "Those your kids?"

They nodded, and then, "Who's the man?"

"He's a friend of ours. He was taking Noah to the bathroom when this all went down," Carisi answered. His stomach was churning at the thought of Barba being nearly beaten to death while the kids were just a few feet away, or that's what it seemed like. Whoever was operating the camera covered the picture so they couldn't see the surroundings.

"Alright. Well, we've got our work cut out for us. U.S. Government has already been alerted and I suspect this video will hit mainstream media any minute now. The FBI and the CIA are gonna be lighting this place up like a fuckin' Christmas tree, so be prepared to be questioned."

With that Garver and Barnes turned to walk back to the door, prepared to leave. Barnes reached into his pocket and pulled out a card, holding it to Carisi, who snatched it from his hand. "We'll be in touch. Don't talk to anyone until we give you the go ahead."

With that, they were left standing in stunned silence by the door to the room, unsure of what to do or what to say. Liv was the first to break away, doing her best to keep her sobs at bay as she crawled into the bed and covered herself with the blanket.

Amanda, Fin, and Carisi stood there for a few minutes after, listening to her muffled sobs before they all crawled into bed as well, falling asleep within minutes of each other.

There was nothing else they could do now but wait.

* * *

 **Monday – 1:23 a.m.**

"Wakey, wakey."

Rafael groaned as a sharp, stinging slap woke him from his fitful sleep.

There was so much pain radiating from his face, he could hardly think straight. For an odd second, he had trouble remembering where he was and how he got there, but the memories weren't far from his mind, and came back with startling clarity.

Juan, who was standing over him, flicked some of the ash from his cigarette on him and then leaned down over, pressing the cherry right into the skin of his neck. Rafael scrambled away, hissing in pain as he slid over dirt and rocks just to get away from the man.

Juan chuckled and grabbed him by the back of the shirt, one-handed, and forced him to stand on wobbly legs. Rafael forced the dizzying sensation to stop as he focused in on his surroundings with just one eye open. The other was swollen shut and he could feel fresh blood dripping from his face.

"I may have lied when I said we weren't going to hurt you, amigo."

"Fuck you," Rafael spat, feeling blood in his mouth. He literally spat it out on the ground and leaned forward, with his hands on his knees. He was in so much pain it was unbelievable and all he wanted to wash the blood from his face and pass out from exhaustion. He felt like he had a mild concussion, as well, but he doubted they even cared about that.

The smile dropped from Juan's face and he drew closer to Rafael, the men that had gathered around him, masked and carrying weapons, backed up and grew silent. Juan bent down right next to him, close enough that Rafael could smell the man's cologne and feel his breath hitting his ear.

"I would watch what you say to me. What just happened…it was because I was a little annoyed. You don't want to see what happens when I get pissed, ok?"

Rafael glanced over at the man, seeing him floating in his peripheral vision. It took him a second, but eventually he nodded, knowing not to press his luck any further. Juan stood and walked away from him, signaling something to his men.

"Here," Juan said, and threw a bag at him, "Take a shower and look presentable in the morning. We'll be filming again. We might have to rough you up some more to make it really dramatic, but not as much as we did tonight." There was a low murmur of laughter and voices as the men retreated, hopping into their jet-black trucks. Rafael stood there, bent over at the waist until the red lights disappeared into the night.

He stood up and limped back to the house, bag dragging along the dirt. The door opened, bathing him in yellow light and Rafael jumped, until he recognized the figure standing in the doorway as Noah, who was looking at him with sleepy eyes.

"Uncle Rafa?"

"Go inside," he croaked, coughing a little on the blood in his throat.

"Are you hurt?"

Rafael struggled to make it inside, and once he did, he practically collapsed on the sofa, face first. He was smearing blood into the fabric and he hurt like hell everywhere, but he didn't have the willpower to move just yet. His vision kept blurring, fading in and out, and he was almost positive he had a concussion.

"I scared," he heard Jesse's little voice from the bed, and he tried lifting his hand in some sort of calming gesture that he knew she wouldn't understand. He breathed heavily, darkness pulling at the edges of his sight.

"Uncle Rafa?"

Rafael murmured something unintelligible into the couch cushion, his hand landing against Noah's cheek before it fell limply on the floor. Everything went black after that.

* * *

 **Monday – 7:21 a.m.**

Liv sat straight up in bed, gasping and gripping the comforter covering her lower half.

She was sweaty and her eyes felt puffy and sore, and she was desperate to kick the covers away from her body. Her skin felt dirty and her hair was greasy; she needed a shower badly, but she almost didn't want to move. She wanted to lay there and stare at the ceiling, avoid the cameras and reporters and the government that was surely going to come knocking, wanting to know about her son and how old he was and what color his hair and eyes were.

Visions of missing posters and her son's face, along with Jesse's, and Rafael's face plastered across global media, talking about them like they were dead and gone, rather than just waiting to be found.

She couldn't stomach the thought that she would have rather this been another Sheila situation. At least with Sheila, she was caring for Noah. She wasn't out to intentionally harm or, worse, kill him. These men…

God only knew what their intentions were, but she knew they weren't good. Cartels didn't care for their victims. Cartels strung them from overpasses, naked, for all to see. They chopped them up into tiny pieces, and sent videos of it to their families. They didn't let their victims go back to a happy, normal lift.

They didn't let their victims leave at all. It was that thought that kept her tossing and turning all night, terrifying nightmares of having to ID his body or seeing pictures of him…she couldn't even think of it anymore. Her stomach was turning and all she wanted to do was crawl back under the covers and go to sleep, despite the heat in the hotel room.

She heard the bed creak next to hers and she locked eyes with Amanda, who looked worn with the same puffy, swollen eyes as she had. Carisi sat in the bed next to her, transfixed on the image of his phone. She noticed the adjoining door was open, and she could hear the faint sounds of Fin and Rita talking.

Unfortunately, she knew she wasn't going to be able to stay in bed and wait until this nightmare was over. It was apparent the local police weren't going to do anything, and these DEA guys…well, who even knew if you could rely on them. The only positive they all had as of right now was the storm of media attention that was going to be brought down on this place, followed by the political hell that was brewing underneath their feet.

They were all going to have to face the day, and Liv dug down deep to feel that drive and determination she felt when Sheila had taken Noah. It spurred her through the entire investigation, even through that mini-breakdown in her office, when Rafael had caught her in his arms and gave her every bit of his reassurance.

Her lip trembled with a shaky sigh at the memory, but she slid out of the bed anyway and forced herself into the bathroom.

Outside, Amanda pressed herself against the headboard, leaning against Sonny. She drew her eyes away from the screen when she saw he was re-watching the video from last night. "How many times have you watched it."

"At least fifteen times. I'm looking for clues."

"And?"

"…nothing."

She didn't say anything, just curled in closer to his side. After a moment, he clicked out of the video and locked his phone, bringing his arm around her. He pressed a kiss into her hair and sighed, feeling his own tears well up in his eyes. He couldn't sleep much the night before. None of them really could.

He heard Fin pacing around the adjoining room, while Rita moaned and tossed and turned in her sleep. Liv did much of same, but Amanda had stayed still and silent, only shifting every now and then like anyone did naturally in their sleep.

He blinked away his tears, refusing to cry, at least in front of anyone. Amanda and Liv didn't need to see him in such a vulnerable state. He had to remain strong for them, for Jesse and Noah, and for Rafael, who was cut up and bloody and it scared him to think that that was how he was going to remember the man for the rest of his life.

Maybe re-watching that video over and over again for clues wasn't a good idea. It painted an ugly truth over the optimism he had been trying to keep for the past few hours.

"Carisi," Fin said suddenly, appearing in the doorway of the adjoining room. He disappeared just a second later, and Carisi untangled himself from Amanda without a word. Once he was in Fin and Rita's room, he looked directly at the flat screen television, a CNN broadcast displaying the video he had just been watching. They all stared silently at it, the English subtitles making it easier to understand what the anchors were talking about.

" _It's very clear to me they wanted the world's attention, and what's a better and faster way to do that other than social media? The video hit 10 Million views within two hours, when it was uploaded and subsequently taken down by Facebook. This was an intentional move by a Mexican cartel, yet to be determined by our foreign correspondence."_

" _But the question is why now and why Cabo San Lucas, one of the biggest tourist traps in along the west coast of Mexico? We've learned from prior incidences by these cartels, that none of their moves are made on a whim. There's a reason why they've kidnapped three American tourists, and the answer we're looking for may be steeped in terrorist activity."_

* * *

 **Monday – 8:00 a.m.**

When Rafael woke up again, he was still face down in the couch, and he was still in intense pain. He groaned and forced himself to sit up, disoriented, with his back strained and his neck tensed up.

It took him a full minute of staring at the distorted television screen, showing some Mexican news channel with subtitles and no sound. He blinked hard once, and then twice, and then brought his hand up to rub at the eye that had been swollen shut, but he could open now. His mind was still hazy and the bloody cuts were beginning to scab over, but he was OK. He was OK.

Jesse. Noah.

He stood up too fast and nearly fell over, but he staggered away from the couch, grabbing onto the arm, croaking out their names. He found them seated on the bed again, sitting up and staring at him. There was an open chip bag in front of him and two bottles of water, and Rafael had to wonder just how they were able to find food and water by themselves while he had been passed out cold.

"Uncle Rafa, are you ok?"

Rafael breathed heavily and nodded, stumbling over to the bed where they sat. He grabbed a bottle of water and took a drink from it, savoring the liquid wetting his incredibly dry throat. He didn't bother with the chips, not even remotely hungry.

"You sleep," Jesse said, her little still red-rimmed and slightly puffy. She wasn't crying hysterically anymore, and he attributed that more to Noah's presence rather than his own. He could see they were both looking at him with wary eyes, and he realized he must have looked like a true and utter, chaotic mess.

"Did anyone come in here while I was sleeping?"

They both shook their heads, and he let go of that little bit of worry that suddenly cropped up in his stomach. It seemed as though he'd been out for quite some time, and he cursed himself despite the circumstances. He was relieved to hear they'd been left alone, and that Juan was somewhat true to his word so far. He would take the beatings so long as those two were left alone.

"Can we go home yet?"

Rafael didn't respond. Noah and Jesse waited, looking at him, but he turned away, knowing he wasn't going to be able to answer truthfully. So, instead, he set them up in front of the television with one of those random kid's DVD's. They were all in Spanish, but they didn't seem to mind. They were transfixed on the television within minutes and he hurried to the bathroom, needing to get in the shower to clean away some of the blood.

It took him a minute to figure out how to work the shower. The curtain was missing and the water pressure was nearly non-existent, but it worked in washing away some of the dried blood on his skin. The hot water cascading down his sore muscles and cuts and bruises felt good, though.

He took a few extra minutes to himself, letting the water scald his face as his mind raced over the events at the restaurant. One minute, he'd been happy and content with his life for the first time in months. The woman he loved, loved him back. They were together with good company and enjoying the beach and being alone and making love and…

Fresh tears spilled from his eyes, and he allowed himself to weep. He wouldn't do it in front of the kids, because he had to be strong for them. They were counting on him, whether they outwardly showed it to him or not.

He couldn't fail them.

He _wouldn't_ fail them.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Ok! Here's the next chapter! It's long and there's a lot of things going on, but the plot progresses in this! Also, I'm NOT making promises, but I was thinking of going back and reworking Paraíso Perdido (excluding the word Perdido, since that means lost) and making a separate version with just a bunch of fluff and smut. You know I'm not so confident in the smut writing part, but since a lot of you didn't seem to like the transition into the drama/action/violence, I think some of you would like to read just Barson on vacation with their friends without any crap happening to them. Yay or nay? It may take some time to write and make that happen, but it's a **_POSSIBILITY_**. Let me know what you think! I don't own SVU or its characters. ENJOY.

* * *

 **Monday - 8:00 a.m.**

Mendoza was nicknamed El Sombro (The Shadow) because he could move in-and-out of buildings, towns, and countries undetected. He followed in the footsteps of his father, and his father's father, who was one of the top drug dealers in all of Mexico during the 60's.

Cocaine was a booming industry back then, bringing in millions upon millions of pesos every month. His grandfather lived like a king in a mansion built for one. He had four wives and gold teeth, with only one prized son who would rule the kingdom he had built from the ground up.

His father had failed miserably once his grandfather died, but the dedicated soldiers who promised their lives to El Mejor (The Great One), kept it thriving, eventually establishing it as one of the leaders of the drug industry running Mexico.

Juan Gabriel Mendoza never wanted to be a leader. The line of succession was clear and strong within the cartels, but Juan dreamed of a better life, living abroad in some place like Europe or Africa, living a simple life as a college educated man that had something to offer the world. He dreamed these dreams all throughout his childhood, never once imagining anything could ever take him away from pursuing those goals.

Until he walked in on his father, eyes gouged out with a rusty spoon, hanging from tendrils of muscle laid across his cheeks. His heart had been removed and placed delicately in his hand, and the word 'Fracaso' (Failure) etched into his skin. By the time Juan had found him, back home from an afternoon out with his friends, the blood had already begun to scab over and the room smelled of death. The blood had dried on the silk sheets and his father's skin was ghostly pale and cold to the touch.

Juan didn't shed a tear that night, as a few loyal men took care of his body. Instead, he sat in the living room, lights dimmed, and recited the Sinner's prayer, bringing himself a sort of comfort he hadn't felt in a while. His father was a well-liked man among some, and hated among most. Juan never pushed him into either box, preferring to keep himself centered and focused on moving away from the drugs and violence and the lavish lifestyles.

But something changed in him that night. It was a subtle shift over the next few months. The mansion they occupied had been gifted to the new leader, who Juan knew had something to do with it, and he moved into a small cabin where a few of his friends lived, peddling drugs to the poorer cities surrounding, making their money and reporting back to the gang.

He forced himself to start from the bottom, letting those long held dreams go one-by-one, finding he was rather good at selling and persuading people. He was a talker, a charmer, using his smile and his good looks to get what he wanted. It was a good way of life for a while, until he ran into his first kill.

The knife sliced the man's neck open deeper than Juan thought it would, nearly decapitating the poor soul who tried shooting him in the head. He was a Zeta, one of the cartels most notorious sicarios around. He'd been drunk, looking for a fight, and Juan happened to be quicker, more efficient in the fight.

He spent the next three weeks in hiding, lying low from Zeta's who were out for blood for killing one of their own. He prayed day and night during those three weeks, tears spilling down his cheeks has he lamented who he was before and came to terms with who he was now.

Gone were the stupid dreams that he believed would propel him to heaven when he died of old age, in his bed, surrounded by family and friends. He was a naive and stupid boy to ever believe he would be the one to make it out of the family business. So, he adopted the ways of a sicario, studying death and learning how to deal it, while mastering the art of deception in return.

He was a master manipulator; he had a beautiful, beaming smile that lit up rooms and conversation with ease. He could seduce women and challenge men, get little kids to trust him and the elderly to pray for him, just with a few words from his mouth. His mouth had always been his deadliest weapon, with his short fuse coming in close second.

But, with as much experience and ease he had with the spoken word, he still found it difficult to speak in front of their leader, who was currently seated in the living room of Juan's old house, watching the video that was taken of his abductee play out on the news.

Rolando Marquez didn't speak much, so the hums of approval leaving his pursed lips was enough justification for Juan that he'd done right by his leader, which would make him one of the few to have done so since the overpass incident last year. Never before had he seen Mr. M smile with such pleasure as he did when he saw the footage of two men and one woman, decapitated and hanging from thick chains under the overpass, naked and burnt in Cabo.

He was a sick man with the desire to do anything to get where he wanted to be. That vision had originally included stringing two children up from the same overpass, but he had been easily talked down by his beloved Francesca, who would have none of it. Juan had been grateful, if only because there was no reason for such violence young ones. He had a daughter himself, Theresa, just seven years old with her whole life ahead of her.

Juan Mendoza may have done despicable things, but his daughter was his life, and he would be the last person to ever steal that life from the hands of a defenseless, terrified parent.

As the news broadcast ended, the television was clicked off, descending the room into silence. The only sound was that of an old-fashion grandfather clock that sat somewhere down the hall, in the study where his father used to spend some time reading and learning, and teaching him things most people didn't even care to learn about.

Juan shifted in his seat, taking comfort in the fact that even Mr. M's closest associates were slightly defensive of the heavy silence that followed the click of the television. Eventually, Mr. M spoke, with a gruff voice made from years of smoking.

"This man…," he gestured towards the blank screen and then brought his fingers up to stroke his neatly trimmed beard, grey and flowing down to the middle of his chest. "He is tough."

"Mostly," Juan replied, "He is no fighter but he doesn't go down easy. I suspect he uses words rather than fists."

"Admirable," Mr. M rasped, "Yet, dangerous."

Mr. M raised his hand and barely flicked his rest, sending his butler over with a fresh glass of whiskey that was deposited into his waiting hand. Juan watched him sip slowly, savoring the alcohol on his tongue.

"Make another video. Beat him. Make him bloody. Break him. I want his government to see him cry and beg for mercy."

Juan nodded and stood to leave, ready to get out of this mansion that brought back so many unsavory memories. He could feel his skin crawl just looking at the staircase, where he spent many nights sitting on the steps and listening to his father sing to the open air of the living room where he stood.

"Juan," Mr. M said, voice lazy. Juan turned to look at him, but found himself staring at the back of the man's grey head, "Show the kids. Smack them around, too. I want to watch them scream."

Juan pursed his lips, glad the man wasn't facing him so he didn't see the disgusted look on his face. No one would dare to outwardly voice their personal feelings when an order was brought down by the boss himself. So, Juan swallowed the answer already formed on his lips and instead, whispered, "Sí, Señor."

With one last look back at the staircase, Juan walked as quickly as he could outside of the mansion and to his old truck parked in the wrap around driveway, desperate to get away from the memories and cold voice of Rolando Marquez.

* * *

 **Monday – 8:25 a.m.**

The cameras had piled up rather quickly on the street below their hotel, with various different news outlets, a few from different countries, most from Mexico and a few from the U.S., covering foreign politics in their country's neighboring land.

The video of Rafael, beaten and bloody had been replayed, slowed down, analyzed and even ridiculed countless times within the past hour, and Liv had grown sick of it. She was tired of seeing him groaning in pain, over and over again; the cuts and bruises along his face and arms and legs took a little piece of her each time she had to witness it happening, and now, reporters wanted to speak to her and Amanda, the defenseless mothers whose children were kidnapped in a busy restaurant.

The moment the topic was breached, Liv nearly slammed the door in the DEA officers face, but after a quick pep talk from Fin (who knew the right words to say through years of dedicated friendship), she had stopped to hear what they had to say, forcing Amanda to listen in as well.

" _Cry a little. Show them how devastated you are. You're going to be seen by these men who are holding them captive, and you'll be lulling them into a false sense of accomplishment. They'll be thinking you'll do anything to get your kid's back, and that whatever they're planning will go off without a hitch."_

" _How is hamming it up for the cameras going to get our children and Rafael back?"_

 _The two agents, Garver and Barnes, looked at each other. The move didn't reassure Liv in the slightest._

" _Kids are off limits to most cartels. Most of them have children themselves, and therefore don't see the act of killing one redeemable. It's happened before, though, plenty of times, but if they wanted to kill your kids, they would have let you know it by now. It's more likely that they're looking for a heft reward, or possibly, a distraction. Tactics like this have been used before, but that was back when they had less technology and we had more men."_

 _Barnes jumped in then, pointing at the mute television, once again playing that fucking video, "They're using your friend as bait. The more they hurt him, the likelier you are to buckle and give into their whims."_

" _How sure are you guys about this?"_

 _She and Amanda were left with a hesitant silence. Garver tripped over his words, not sounding so smugly reassuring, "We're not. It's the only viable answer we have as of right now. Until we have more evidence to suggest otherwise, this is what we have."_

Liv wasn't convinced. Not at all, and neither were the rest of them. Amanda had shaken her head and exited the room after the agents had said that, and only reemerged after they left the hotel room completely. Liv had been too skeptical to voice anything else, despite their urging for her to discuss things with them, which she hadn't, and they left to go greet the storm of new networks dying to speak with them.

She still wanted to go back to sleep and wake after this whole thing was over, but this was her reality from now until all three of her loved one's were returned safely, and she was going to have to face that. Amanda was going to have to face that.

Although, she had to cut the woman some slack. She didn't know what it was like to have your child go missing for hours upon hours, not knowing whether they were afraid or hurt or hungry or alone. Sheila had been an abnormal case of child abduction, and the fear from this was amped up tenfold, but Liv was able to rationalize and think now, having gone through an experience like this before.

Amanda wasn't able to. Not yet, anyway.

"Hey, Liv," Carisi said, stepping into the room everyone had vacated so she and Amanda could be alone with their thoughts, silently together. "They're ready for you guys downstairs."

She didn't move, but she acknowledged him with a small head nod, and he disappeared back into the room after a quick look to Amanda, who was curled up on her bed, knees to chest and staring blankly ahead, much like Liv had been doing. They remained still for a moment, until Liv glanced at Amanda, to find the woman already staring at her.

"I don't want to do this."

Liv nodded, but she knew they had no choice. Amanda knew that, as well, but she continued on, "Press conferences accept the fact that our kids are gone. Might be gone forever. I can't accept that."

"We're not," Liv replied, confidently, feeling a surge of determination course through her at Amanda's weak words. "We're not accepting it. We're demanding they bring them back to us."

"Liv," she started, sound so tired, "You know how these things go. What if we're too late? What if…" She held her hand up to her mouth, swallowing the sob that was about to erupt. Liv shot over to her bed and grabbed the wrist of the hand that covered her mouth. She yanked on it, making sure she had the blonde's full attention.

"We're not too late and I don't want to hear those fucking words come from your mouth again. Jesse is alive. Noah is alive. Rafael is with them, and he won't let a damn thing happen to them so long as he's breathing, you know that, correct?"

Amanda nodded after a moment of hesitation, but it was a nod that recognized the truth, "We are going to go down there and put on a show. Tears, pleading, the whole nine yards. I want the attention of the whole fucking world by the end of this interview, because afterwards, we're going out there and we're going to find them ourselves."

Liv lowered her head, a vicious look of determination on her face. It was going to be incredibly difficult to do so, with the CIA high-tailing it to their location as they spoke, and the DEA officers who were trying to handle them like they were amateurs in the area of the human psyche, but she would be damned if either her or Amanda, of any one of them spent any more time on the sidelines, watching from afar.

"Got me?"

Amanda nodded again, sniffing and beginning to look more and more like the detective she had grown to call a close friend. Carisi chose that moment to reenter, phone held to his ear and an apologetic smile, "Guys."

"Tell those bastards we're coming."

Liv didn't mean to sound so harsh, but she was fired up and pissed as hell. Gone was the grief and crying nonstop. From this point forward, they were on the job, looking at this from trained, experience detective's eyes.

"Alright," she stood and helped Amanda to their feet. They were both still wearing their beach ware, too tired and grief stricken to change amidst it all. "Let's go do this."

* * *

 **Monday – 9:00 a.m.**

Rafael found himself dozing in and out of a fitful sleep when the door to the cabin burst open, slamming into the wall with such force, he jumped up in bed and scrambled back towards the wall. His eyes landed on Jesse and Noah, who had been cuddled on the couch, seeing them scamper off towards where he was, little hands clawing at the bed to try and get to him.

Jesse had descended into tears again, and Noah's eyes were blown wide as he clutched Rafael's bicep like it was a lifesaver out in the middle of the ocean. Rafael buried Jesse into his chest, trying to calm the poor girl's terrified tears with his soothing tone, albeit shaky with adrenaline.

He spotted Juan immediately, flanked by two large men, both holding weapons and wearing masks to conceal their identity. They didn't move from the smaller man's side, but they did tighten their hold their guns just a fraction, and that was enough to put Rafael on high alert.

"Good morning, mi amigo."

Juan stepped further into the cabin, cigarette hanging from his mouth, and a few plastic bags in his hands. He walked until he reached the end of the bed and dropped the bags on the bed, some of the contents spilling out onto the blanket, "I brought you new clothes."

Rafael could feel Jesse pull impossibly closer to him, and he brought his hand to the back of her head, stroking her blonde hair and silently crying, soaking his shirt. Noah, instead, leaned forward, tears in his own eyes, and yelled directly at the man standing in front of them, "I wanna go home! I want my mom!"

"Noah," Rafael said soothingly, pulling him back into his side. The little boy didn't fight him, but he also resisted the urge to turn his face away. Juan's eyes softened just a fraction and he pulled the lit cigarette from his mouth. Rafael tried not to look at the burn on his arm from last night that he knew he was there. He could still feel the cherry searing his skin.

"Escúchame, niño…you will go home very soon. Ok? But we need your help with something important first." Rafael pulled Noah further into his side as Juan moved closer, coming to sit on the bed just a foot away from where they sat. Jesse moved her head to the side, feeling the bed dip and she whimpered when she saw the man had moved closer. Rafael whispered in her ear and kissed the top of her head, doing what he could to comfort her.

"I want some reassurance," Rafael spoke suddenly, voice low as he speared Juan with a cold glare, "I need to know they're going to make it out of here alive."

"You don't want to know about yourself?" Juan looked semi-amused, but Rafael didn't crack a smile or even flinch. His breathing was steady and his face was expressionless and he continued to rub Jesse's back.

"They're my priority. They have mothers who will go to the ends of the Earth for them…and I have no doubt if they found you tomorrow, they'd rip you limb from limb to find out what you did with their children."

"So, this is for their protection, as well?"

Rafael didn't nod, but Juan didn't need him to. The mustached man hummed, "Which one are you fucking? His mom or hers?"

Rafael clenched his jaw but kept his mouth shut. He wanted to reach out and punch the man straight in the mouth, but he kept his cool, knowing he could end up dead, and he was no use to either of the kids that way. He had to play this cool and get them through this.

Juan stood up and walked away from the bed, gesturing to the clothes, ignoring Rafael's deadly stare, "Get changed and come outside. We have another video to shoot."

When the door closed with Juan behind it, Noah shot out from Rafael's side and faced him, tears in his eyes as he pleaded with Rafael not to listen to him. His little hands reached up and cupped his face, lip trembling as he begged and begged for him not to get up. Rafael grabbed his chin and forced him to stop talking, cutting off his words that were starting to meld together and sound incoherent.

"Noah, calm down and breathe," he said softly, breathing in and out deeply a few times, forcing him to do the same. Jesse had looked up from her hiding place in his chest and reached a hand out to Noah, her little voice joining his, "Breave, No."

Rafael smiled down at her, trying to keep his own anxiety in check. Had they not been there, he would be in a full-blown panic attack, curled up on the floor in a ball and muttering to himself. He knew them being there was the only reason he hadn't gone and gotten himself killed, yet.

"I have to do what they tell me, Noah."

"But what if they hurt you again," he hiccupped. His sentence was so broken and fragmented with his breathy gasps that Rafael felt tears welling up in his eyes. He sniffed and pushed them away, blinking a few times to rid the stinging sensation. He opened his mouth to speak, but Jesse cut him off with her little hand gently touching a scabbed over cut on his face, right underneath the eye that had to be black and blue by now.

"Ouchie," she said, and he caught her hand gently, bringing it to his chest.

"I'll be fine. Trust me." He stood, gently placing Jesse next to Noah and snatched up the bag closest to him. They were kid's clothes, looking to be too big for both of them, but he could make it work. The other bag had all black clothes, also looking too big for him, but they were better than the bloody and dirty clothes he was forced to put back on after his shower.

He disrobed quickly by the bed, throwing the new clothes on in record time. The plain black t-shirt was Ill-fitting, looking more like a blanket than a shirt. The pants sweatpants fit better, but he had to tighten the drawstrings to make sure they didn't slip down his hips when he moved too much. He wouldn't complain though, since they felt clean and refreshing against his skin, and that was a luxury he didn't expect to be getting so soon into this.

"Ok, stay on the bed and don't go near the door, you hear me?"

Jesse nodded, but Noah didn't. He just stared up at Rafael like it was the last time he was ever going to see him. The thought that that was a legitimate possibility at this point scared him beyond belief. He had no reason to think that once he stepped foot out that door, that he was coming back.

There was no indication that this was going to be some quick little talk or that this video was going to result in another quick beating he was going to come back from. There were no guarantees he could make to Noah to placate the boy's worries, and lying to him felt so wrong.

"I'll be fine. I'm coming back. I promise."

But, he did anyway. He stomached the negative ideas and marched out of the cabin, confident despite the ugly bruises and cuts on his face. He didn't look back at them as he did so.

Outside, the sun was hot and beat down upon a black towel, laid out on the side of the house, surrounded by the same two masked men, holding those big guns. Juan pointed at it, silently directing him to it and once there, planted his foot into the back of one of his knees, forcing him to the ground roughly.

The hood that slid over his neck was so dark, he couldn't even see streaks of sunlight bleeding through the fabric, and his stomach turned when he realized the bag smelled like blood and urine mixed together. It was a toxic smell that was making him light-headed and nausea, but he pushed through the sensation.

He heard Juan's dragging footsteps shuffling around him, his presence behind him replaced by a small, sharp edge against his head. He realized, belatedly, that it had to be the barrel of a gun. Rafael bit into his lip so hard, he reopened the split that scabbed over, and a fresh droplet of blood slowly ran down his chin as he listened to Juan shifting something around, cursing quietly into the wind.

* * *

Juan lit a cigarette and made sure this old, beat up camera was set to record. He hated the thing, but that was all they would give him. Their other equipment was far too fancy to bring out to the desert with the dust and the dirt blowing everywhere. Juan rolled his eyes at the thought but simply went with it. Marquez was going to have to deal with the shitty quality of the video again when it hit the news.

Juan nodded over at one of his men, blowing smoke out as he hit the record button. He watched him walked swiftly away and around the side of the house, staying in sight so he could give the signal. In Spanish, he talked in a low voice, just loud enough for him to hear through the hood, and through a device that changed the pitch of his voice, a measure put in place to mask the voice recognition software those DEA bastardos always tried to capture people with.

"Say your name."

He hesitated, but then, "Rafael Barba."

"Where are you from?"

"New York City, New York."

Juan took another quick drag, "What do you do?"

"…I'm an immigration lawyer."

He chuckled loudly, "El presidente will love that, I'm sure." Juan cleared his throat and reigned it in, a smile on his face as he asked the next question.

"Who are you here with?"

"Friends."

"Friends with kids, yes?"

Rafael didn't answer, and Juan had to ask the question again, with more force and hard nudge with the gun to his head to get him to speak. "Yes."

Juan nodded and gestured to his man by the door. Seconds later, the door was kicked open loudly and the screams of the children bellowed outside. Rafael sat up straight and looked around wildly, ripping the hood from his head. He tried to stand, but he was smacked with the butt of the gun against his head, bringing him down to his stomach in the dirt. Juan watched with a frown, eyebrows furrowed as his man carried the two kids out, the boy over his shoulder, kicking wildly and the girl under his arm, doing much of the same. They were both screaming and crying wildly, but they were just scared.

They were dumped on the ground, roughly, next to Rafael, whom they crawled to and clung to for dear life. Rafael sat up, dazed, but brought them close into the circle of his arms, like he had been holding them just fifteen minutes earlier, when Juan spoke to them in the room.

Juan pushed down the sickly feeling building in his stomach, seeing guns pointing down at these terrified children. For one second, he allowed himself to envision his daughter in place of them, big brown eyes watery with tears as she screamed and called for him to save her. He looked away and at the camera, the sounds becoming deafening in the barren desert they stood in.

The red light was still on, blinking and strong, and he hit the record button to shut it off. He yelled above the crying and swiped his hand, waving his men off. His hands shook and he dropped his cigarette to the ground, dragging his foot over it in the dirt to extinguish it. He swallowed, locking eyes with Rafael for a split second before he swung the camera off the tripod and shoved it back in its bag.

He had done what he was supposed to, but nothing extra, like Mr. M had wanted. No beating. No guns against the kids' heads. Nothing that would make him sick to his stomach and nothing that would make him envision his daughter anymore, curled up on the ground and screaming to God for mercy.

He could feel the bile rising in his throat, sudden and burning and making his own eyes tear up.

"Go inside. Go!"

Rafael stood, ushering both of the kids back towards the house as Juan walked a few feet out into the desert, behind a clump of dead bushes, that were nothing bust grey branches, and wretched into the dirt.

He kneeled there for quite some time, mind racing to come up with an excuse for when Mr. M saw the video and realized he hadn't done anything that had been requested of him. He looked through the branches of the dead bushes and wiped his hand, his eyes tracing the old, pock marked clay walls of the house they used solely for their crimes.

Eventually, he left the area and headed back into town, watching as his guards stood by the door, guns still poised in their hands wordlessly, growing smaller and smaller the farther he drove away.

He didn't dare look at the rosary hanging from the rear view mirror of his truck.

* * *

 **Monday – 10:04 a.m.**

"Absolutely the fuck not."

Liv slammed her hand on the table and glared at Garver and Barnes, who had their arms crossed over their chests like petulant children being disciplined.

"You realize we're trained detectives, right? I'm a fucking Lieutenant for crying out loud. We both have been undercover plenty of times. We can and we _will_ do this, whether you like it or not."

"Look," Barnes sat up, calmer than Garver was. Liv just wanted to smack the ugly mustache off the man's face. "We get that you two have a number of years of experience with undercover work, and we respect the hell out of that, but this is a different playing field. We're talking about one of the most fucked up, deranged cartels out there. One misstep by either of you and your kids could be killed because of it. You understand that? These people don't fuck around."

"Neither do we," Amanda shot back, hands on her hips and determination burning in her eyes. Liv was glad she had finally broken out of that stupor she was in and had a fire lit under her ass.

Carisi, Fin, and Rita sat behind them on the other side of the bed, the television playing the news, that was now covering some current event and had finally drawn away from their ongoing story. The press conference had been hard to watch, seeing Liv and Amanda openly crying on camera, both looking so unlike themselves.

Rita had shed some tears, the situation finally settling in on her. Fin and Carisi had wanted to stand behind them, to give moral support, but both women had refused, and they knew why as soon as they were back in the room again. Their eyes were red and their faces were wet, but they both looked steely eyed as they changed and cleaned their faces, throwing their hair up and looking ready for a battle they both had decided to enter without the knowledge of the rest of them.

"Your faces are plastered all over the news! They know who you are and what you look like now. How can you go undercover when the entire world knows what's happening?"

Amanda and Liv shared an exasperated look, not wanting to give up but knowing they had already lost. Garver looked smug and sipped from the coffee he brought up with him when they got done with the news.

"They haven't seen us."

All four turned to look at Carisi, who walked up between Amanda and Liv. "We haven't been on the news at all. I don't think our names were released either…," he looked back at Fin, who abandoned Rita on the bed and joined them, hands in his pockets, "We'll go in."

"Don't you people listen?"

"You're dealing with a bunch of cops from New York," Liv snorted, nodding at both Fin and Carisi, "We won't stop until you give in, which I'm surprised you haven't already, because it really seems like you don't even give a shit about this case. You two have been dragging your feet since we've met you."

Garver looked at Barnes, who shrugged his shoulder, "We were just talking about how easily they could infiltrate their database. They've done it before."

"They've infiltrated the CIA computer database?" Amanda looked at them, disbelief plain as day on her face. She looked at them like they were crazy, "What more reason do you need to send them in undercover?"

"You had to go and tell them that," Garver hissed under his breath and Barnes rolled his eyes, sitting forward in the chair.

"No promises. At all. We'll talk it over with them and see about bringing you on board. We have a meeting with them in an hour to discuss strategy."

They took little comfort in that, knowing that they were approaching the 24-hour mark rapidly, and those were of the most important hours in a missing persons case. They needed to move quicker if they wanted a better chance of finding all three of them.

"Fine. But Amanda and I want in on it, too. Behind the scenes if we have to."

"Jesus, fine! Damn, how do you guys deal with this in charge every single day," Garver gestured to Liv, and before she could respond, Rita gasped from the bed, flailing to grab the remote that was on the nightstand beside her. They all turned, seeing her pointing at the television, and the breaking news banner playing across the screen.

They all fell quiet, a picture displayed on the screen that showed Rafael, on the ground with the kids cradled in his arms, and a gun pointing at their heads.

"Shit," Barnes hissed, standing up to get a better look. Garver shook his head and pulled out his cellphone, tapping away at his screen. Liv and Amanda stood staring at the television as the picture cycled to a new one with just Rafael, but with a bag over his head.

Carisi turned and looked back at the agents, struck and quiet by the pictures on the television. He closed his eyes for a second longer as Amanda burst into another round of sobs, leaning into Fin's side when the picture of the three of them cycled in again. Liv stood silently, fists clenched and eyes closed, a solitary tear falling down her cheek.

Garver met Carisi's eyes and nodded, "We'll call you in thirty minutes. Be ready."

The agents left without a word more, leaving the deafening silence of the room behind them.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: This is on the shorter side but don't worry, it's not another filler! I think a lot happens in this chapter and I'm excited since I'm getting into the juicy stuff! I hope you guys are enjoying this fic as much as I am! I don't own svu or its characters. ENJOY!

* * *

 **Monday – 11:00 a.m.**

The CIA had taken to setting up shop in the back of a convenient store close to the beach, near where the cruise ship had docked before it set sail back to LA.

It looked a little odd, Rita thought, without the huge ship blocking the view of the ocean, that stretched for hundreds of thousands of miles in front of the land. She enjoyed the view, though. She always enjoyed the ocean and the beach and the sound of the waves crashing on the shore. She liked the hot weather and the palm trees and the cool breezes coming off the water.

But this was making her seriously rethink everything.

Which was silly, because they were in a foreign country known to have problems with this kind of thing. Drug cartels ran rampant across Mexico, but that shouldn't change her view on places like California or Florida or the Carolina's or anywhere with beaches lining the coast.

But it was and she was finding it hard to look out at the ocean now, as she stood in front of a dirty window, watching a few boats dot the water. There was a couple parasailing high in the sky and a few kayakers headed farther down the shore, out of her sight.

She wanted to go home. She wanted this to be over and for everyone to be safe and just _go home_. Back to the concrete jungle where she lived and worked and thrived off the crimes of others seeking to save themselves. Her penthouse never looked so refreshing than in that moment.

"Rita, baby," Fin stepped up behind her and planted a hand on her waist. She shifted her head a little, letting him know she was listening, but her eyes never left the water. "It's too dangerous to stand out here."

She didn't respond and she didn't move. Fin squeezed her side, looking for words from her mouth. She sighed heavily and shook her head, "I'll be back there. I just need a minute. I promise."

Fin hesitated for a moment, his hand lingering, but he eventually withdrew with a quiet 'ok' and left her by the window. She glanced behind her, seeing him disappear through an old, blue swinging door. The cashier, an old, plump, dark haired woman smiled politely at her as she moved stuff around behind the counter.

Her eyes caught the corner of the store, where a dusty television screen was playing the local news, displaying pictures of some festival with a bunch of children dancing in the street, looking happy and carefree in some distant town that didn't feel the effects of the cartel. Or, maybe they did, and it was normal, and they lived their lives anyway, accepting this as part of it.

How sad it must be, to have to accept the fact that this was the way it was, and nothing was going to change that. Rita didn't ever want to experience something like that. Even with the work she did, sometimes draining and always questionable, she didn't have to live with that.

Fear…

She'd had plenty of run-ins with crazy criminals, dangerous men and women who thought they could get away with something, or really, truly, thought themselves innocent after committing a vicious felony. The closest thing to fear she ever encountered was when the verdict was coming back from the jury and her client got off, walking out of court despite the fact she knew they were 100% guilty.

This was fear she had never encountered before, and it was eating her up inside. Yet, despite that feeling, she felt useless, sitting there on the sidelines. Here she was, standing by this dirty window and staring a fucking ocean because she wasn't a cop and defense lawyers would only be a hindrance in this situation.

She just wished she could do something…

"Aye, no," she heard from behind her and turned just in time to see the short woman race around the counter and to the glass front door, quickly locking it and flipping the sign on the door. She looked shaken as she pressed her hands against it and looked outside, eyes peering towards a white van that had pulled up and parked alongside the road. Rita eyed it as well, looking back and forth between it and the obviously scared woman next to her.

"¿Que está pasando?" Rita knew a good amount of Spanish and the shock on the woman's face would have been if the woman didn't have tears in her eyes. She shook her head and pointed outside just as the back of the van opened and out poured a few men, dressed in black, smoking and talking and laughing. Rita stepped back a little when one of the men looked in at the store and nodded at her, a creepy smile spreading across his face.

She narrowed he reyes and without looking, asked the woman, "Quienes son."

She waited patiently for an answer, until the men passed and the woman visibly relaxed. Rita tilted her head and took a step forward, placing a hand on her shoulder. The woman closed her eyes as a tear escaped down her cheek.

"They are cartel," she said softly, her accent so thick but her words were clear, "They kill mi hijo…they are evil."

Rita looked back out the window, turning her head and nearly pressing her face against it to try and see where they had gone. A sudden idea formed in her mind, one that made her lip curl and her palms sweat. She suddenly felt the air in the store suffocating as she glanced back at the swinging door, where her boyfriend and her friends were, trying to come up with the best course of action to save Rafael and the kids.

But, they were wasting time, an idea that became abundantly clear earlier that morning, when that video was released of all three of them. They had watched the entire thing on the way over after Liv and Amanda begged Garver to show it to them in its entirety…it had made her sick. Seeing those poor kids, terrified, crying, with guns pointed at them…

That was when the fear set in. Not only for them, but for her and her friends. For anyone that had come down here for a good time and had fallen into the wrong place at the wrong time. That's what happened to them. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

They were wasting time back there, going over the pros and cons when what they needed was rash decisions and people who didn't stop to think. Rita stood up straight and took a soothing breath, preparing herself for what she was about to do.

She turned to the woman and smiled and then passed by her to flip open the lock. The woman grabbed her wrist with surprising strength, wide eyes with fear. Rita stopped her before she could say anything.

"It's ok. I just have to run back to the hotel to grab something. If anyone comes out and looks for me, just tell them I'll be back soon. ¿Entender?"

The woman nodded slowly and slipped her hand off her wrist. Rita nodded and smiled tightly, refusing to glance back at the door, afraid Fin was going to walk back out at any moment and stop her.

She was out in the sun in seconds, looking down the street where tourists milled about from restaurant to restaurant, bar to bar. Rita spotted them rather quickly, or rather, spotted the man who had smiled at her earlier and she quickly walked towards him, trying to look casual and lost, like any other tourist would.

She realized right away how vulnerable of a position she was putting herself in, but something had to be done. She told herself the entire walk down the street and up to the man, who was leaning against a wooden post just outside of the bar entrance, eating an apple and looking down at a phone in his hand. He looked rather intimidating, with tattoos up his arms, disappearing into his black shirt.

Rita swallowed the lump in her throat and pushed away the fear as she stopped in front of him, suppressing the shiver that raced down her spine when he looked her up and down, and smiled that creepy smile of his again.

"Can you help me? I seem to be lost."

* * *

 **Monday 11:30 a.m.**

Rafael woke with little hands pressed against his chest, shaking him lightly and little face staring down at him. Noah was saying his name softly, his eyes red-rimmed with an almost desperate look on his face. He sat up, forcing Noah to back-up a little, but he put a hand on his head and ran his fingers through his hair.

"We're hungry."

Rafael could feel his stomach aching and gurgling with just the mere mention of food. He nodded and leaned forward to kiss Noah's head, and picked him up in his arms. Jesse was sitting on the couch, her eyes just as red as Noah's and he instantly felt terrible. He should have known something was going to happen. He should have never trusted Juan to keep his word.

Luckily, the man didn't let things get too far before they let them go, but still. It made his blood boil under his skin that he went back on his word. Of course, that was probably considered nothing when considering this was a cartel. They killed people for much less, and Rafael had no doubt that kids would be murdered without a second thought.

"Where did you get those chips last time?"

Noah pointed towards the cabinet closest to the fridge, but nothing was under there except for a few plates and some random cooking spiced. He rifled around in the cabinets above, and pulled out a box of snack cakes that were unopen, as well as jar of peanut butter and some moldy bread. Luckily, there were cans of vegetables and fruit that he only hoped the kids wouldn't fuss over too much.

"Uncle Rafa," Noah tugged on his pants, tearing his attention away from the task at hand, "When are they coming back?"

Rafael shook his head, pulling down a box of crackers before he moved on to the fridge that yielded more food than the cabinets did, "I don't know, buddy. I don't know."

"Are they gonna kill us?"

That question made him stop and he closed the fridge door so he could kneel down in front of him. He pressed his hands to Noah's face and looked him straight in his eyes.

"No. They're not. I won't let them, you understand? You and Jess are going to make it back to your mom's, I promise you that."

"What about you?"

He didn't know how to answer that. Worst case scenario, in his book, he would wind up dead and buried out in the middle of the desert somewhere. His mind wouldn't even entertain the idea that the little boy in front of him and the little girl on the couch wouldn't make it back to their mother's. If things were truly looking bleak for them, he would make almost certain that Noah and Jesse would be saved.

"Don't worry about that," he said softly and stood back up, refusing to look back at Noah. "Go sit down and I'll make you some food, ok?"

He could see Noah nod out of the corner of his eye and turn to walk away slowly. Only until after he could hear the rustling of clothes and the couch creak under his weight did Rafael resume what he was doing, rummaging through the fridge to find something else to eat.

* * *

It was nearing 1 p.m. by the time Rafael decided to stop dozing in and out of sleep and actually search deeper into the small house. There wasn't much of it, and not very much to dig around in, but he was feeling stir crazy and trying to keep up with the shitty telenovela that barely showed up on the screen had bored him to the point of no return.

He was also sitting on pins and needles, waiting for the moment the door would open and he would be subjected to another video of them beating him or pointing guns at his head. The cuts on his face were still fresh and the bruising around his eye had faded just a little, with outer ring turning a sickly yellow almost over night. Luckily, he wasn't dealing with anything broken…yet.

He left Noah and Jesse passed out on the couch and bypassed the prison, deciding to inspect the bathroom first. It was dirsty, he knew that, and the water pressure sucked, but eventually, the kids were going to need baths, which he was not looking forward to. The toilet was usable and, thankfully, problema free. He had to help Jesse use it a few times, because she wasn't fully potty trained, and that was an ordeal in and of itself.

The kitchen was next, although he pretty much had already been through everything in there, but he couldn't help but be thorough. He climbed up on the counter with some difficulty, but it allowed him to somehow manuever himself across te space so he could see if there was anything on top of the cabinets or on the top shelves of the cabinet. It yeilded nothing, and he nearly slipped climbing down. He winced when his feet landed loudly, but the kids hadn't stirred and the two guards he knew had to be outside the door, didn't come in.

Leaving the kitchen, he moved on into the bed area, which mainly consisted of the bed, a little nightstand with no drawer and a lamp that he had yet to turn off. He got on his knees and looked under the bed, not seeing anything, so he gently grabbed the old lamp off the nightstand, took of the dusty shade and brought it down to eye level. It took him a minute to adjust the lamp so it fully lit up the underside of the bed, but when it did…

"Shit…"

He moved the lamp farther underneath the bed, just to make sure that he was truly seeing what he thought he was seeing. A sliver of hope shot through him and he shot up from the floor, replacing the lamp on the nightstand, which he picked up and moved it as far to the left as he could. He gently slid the bed across the floor, surprisingly the frame not making much noise on the hardwood.

Once the bed was moved, Rafael stared at the cut out hole in the floor, the small, rusty handle sticking up invitingly, almost begging him to grab onto it and throw the door open. He hesitated though, looking over at the kids and further past them to the door. At any moment, Juan could walk back in again, forcing him to do something else. If the man saw what Rafael was about to do or even discovered in the first place, he could very well fuck himself over and get himself killed. That wasn't an option at this point, or wouldn't be until the kids were taken to safety.

However, his curiosity was making his fingers itch with the prospect of what was down there. It could be simple survival stuff, like blankets or more food or even matches and flashlights. Or, it could be filled to the brim with boxes and old storage, like most basement were filled with. Or…it could possibly lead to a way out? The liklihood of that was slim, but there was a chance there, and he'd always done very well when the odds were stacked against him.

He gnawed on his lip for a minute and decided to just open the door and look down in it. It was more than likely dark, but the lamp on the nightstand had a long enough chord that he could possibly shove it down in there to see.

It took some strength, but the door finally budged and creaked loudly. He grit his teeth together, listening intently for any signs of movement outside before he continued. When he was positive that he was still in the clear, Rafael opened the door as far as it could go and was immediately greeted with the smell of a dark, dank room. Cold air blew onto his face, and for a moment, it was refreshing in the hot air, but he had no time to enjoy it.

He retrieved the lamp from the nightstand and, very carefully, dropped it down in there, using one hand to hold onto it while the other hand was planted on the floor next to the opening, allowing him to dip his head in to see with the limited light.

He only saw a few seconds of a concrete floor and what looked like a wooden desk when the familiar sound of an engine drew close.

Rafael's heart nearly stopped in his chest, hearing a car door slam directly outside of the house.

* * *

 **Monday – 1:15 p.m.**

"Alright, we've been at this for since 10 this morning. How about we all get some lunch and regroup?"

Liv and Amanda, who were bent over a map of the city, looked up at Garver like he had gone mad. Carisi waved his hand towards the women, like Garver was the dumbest person in the world. And in everyone's book so far, he was.

Fin shook his head and began pacing again, wiping the sweat off his forehead for what felt like the hundredth time since they arrived there. The space was limited and there were a good fifteen people shoved in there, with computers set up along the wall, and maps hung up between racks of back stock this woman had for her store.

He was desperate to get out of there, but he knew he couldn't. They had yet to form an actual plan and time was ticking. They were approaching the 24 hour mark and it was making them all incredibly antsy.

"What? Yolonda out there makes a mean tamale," the mustached man pointed towards the door.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" Fin wasn't used to hearing such expletives from his boss, only ever hearing them when she was truly pissed, like she was now. And she had every right to be when this DEA clown was suggesting they stop to eat before they continued. Although, Fin was starving, and he knew they all had to be.

"We can't afford breaks," Cruz, one of the CIA operatives piped in from beside Garver, sliding his reading glasses up into his thick head of hair. "If you're hungry, get a bag of chips and get back in here. We've already wasted too much time trying to decide a course of action."

"Agreed," Amanda shot towards the DEA agent and pointed at a marked spot on the mat. "Now, you said the best thing to do would be to check these little houses out in the desert, right?"

"Correct, but the problema with that is most of the houses are hidden further into the valley where roads can't reach. There's no posible way for us to successfully drop in on these places without being spotted from far away. If they see us coming, we could have a huge firefight on our hands and the decreases the odds of survival for all three of them."

"What about the city? You said the most common place for them to hide would them would be in plain sight. Why don't we send in undercovers? Get them in the building, pretend their interested in buying or selling or whatever."

"Again, they'll assume something is up. Some white tourist from the states walking in and wanting to buy the property? It looks funny. Plus, most of the places we are aware of that support cartel activity have security cameras that are heavily monitored. We can't take chances with that if we want to an establish a name, a look, and a story for the undercovers."

"Well we gotta do something," Fin said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Either way, it sounds like we're taking a huge risk."

"I have specific orders to not make this a huge incident. So, we need to find another way."

"Orders? From the government?" Liv stood up and walked around the table, shoulders tense as she came to a stop just a foot from the man. "They can take those orders and shove them up their asses! Our children are out there. My…our friend is out there with guns to their heads. These people are uploading videos to the internet for millions of people to see. My sons face is plastered all over the news. I don't give a shit what you were told, we're picking one or the other and that's fucking final!"

The entire room went dead silent as Liv and Cruz stared each other down. Amanda had stood up as well, and pressed a hand to her shoulder, trying to calm her down. Carisi was leaned back against a wall, head bowed and Fin just stared at Cruz as well, glad Liv had stepped in to say something. The other operatives who were watching surveillance and messing with gadgets or whatever the fuck it was they had with them.

Cruz looked a little stunned, but recovered quickly and did his best to calm Liv, which was never an easy task. "I know. I know you're all upset and trust me, so are we. This has the potential to turn into a huge politcal shit storm between the countries, and we need to try and remain calm about this situation. They're doing this for a reason. They targeted toursits specifically, and we need to know why. So, let's calm down and think rationally before we go out there and start breaking down doors. Ok?"

Fin sighed and looked at the wall clock near the farthest wall. He cursed, not realizing it was nearing 1:30 already. Rita hadn't come back to the back with them, and honestly, he was glad, because this would have been too much for her. She was already pretty emotionally about the entire thing, and being in on all the stress this was causing wouldn't have been the best for her.

That didn't make him feel better about leaving her out there by herself, though. She was probably keeping the old woman, Yolonda, company or watching the news or something, keeping up with the live reports of what was going on in the world around them. It was probably time to check on her, and make sure she wasn't bored stiff.

He excused himself and walked out of the room, basking in the fresher air and the air-conditioner that felt amazing against his skin. He sighed and walked out into the middle of the store, looking around the area and not seeing his girlfriend. He looked to Yolonda, who was busy with a customer, who had two little children. He waited until she done handling the money and interupted her conversation.

"Excuse me, where did Rita go? The woman out here? She was wearing shorts and a t-shit?"

Yolonda looked confused for a second before realization dawned on her. "Ah! She say she go back to hotel room. She say she be back soon."

"When was that?"

Yolonda glanced at the time, "11?"

Fin's heart dropped in his stomach and he immediately backed away from the counter and out the front door, looking both ways down the street. He cursed and raced back towards the hotel, that was in a relatively short walking distance. His heart beat rapidly with every frantic step he took.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Eh. I'm not sure how this chapter turned out. It's kinda meh to me but I'm dying to progress the story line. I have a few twists up my sleeve. Also, I will put a warning in here. There is mention of rape in one of the scenes, so if you're sensitive to that, you have been warned. I don't own SVU or its characters. ENJOY.

* * *

 **Monday – 1:30 p.m.**

Fin rushed back into the store, ignoring the startled looks of the tourists at the counter and threw open the swinging doors.

He could see everyone in the room reach for their sidearms, some of whom had them strapped to their hips and others who didn't. He was slightly out of breath from running, which he hadn't done in quite a long time, and his lungs were burning while he gasped for air, but the words fell out of his mouth quickly.

"Rita's gone."

"What? What do you mean?"

"She's not out there where I left her," Fin breathed heavily, his heart thumping nearly out of his chest. He leaned forward and splayed his hands out on the table. He felt Carisi come around the table and touch his back, looking on in concern. Liv came up on his other side.

"Maybe she went back to the hotel- "

"I was just there and she isn't. She wouldn't just up and leave when she knows what's going on. Something's wrong."

"Fin," Amanda said calmly, side stepping Agent Cruz. She bent over the table across from him, trying to meet his eyes, "Stay calm. And keep your voice down."

Fin wanted to snap at her, throw some nasty comment back and tell her to shut up, but that was his worry talking. Rita wouldn't have left the store unless it was important, he was sure. She was smart and she knew walking around alone out here, cartel activity or not, was dangerous.

"She told the woman out there that she had to go back to the hotel, but she wasn't there when I got there. Either she lied and left somewhere, or something happened to her on the way there or back."

No one dared to say anything, but Agent Cruz, Garver, and Barnes all looked each other with grim expressions. This wasn't lost on Fin, and he could feel dread make his blood run cold. Instant mental images of Rita, dead on some sidewalk, clothes ripped and body bloody, cropped up and he shook his head, willing them to go away.

"I'm sure…she's fine," Liv said softly, patting his shoulder. He wanted to scoff, feeling tears burning the backs of his eyes that he wouldn't let fall. It was stupid, he thought, that she was telling him it was going to be alright when her son and Barba, whatever he was to her, could be dead in a ditch somewhere.

He was about to voice that, too, growing angry that she was trying to placate him like one of their vics back home, but turned on his heel with everyone else when the swinging doors opened softly, revealing Rita with a determined look on her face.

* * *

 **Monday – 1:30 p.m.**

"One more! C'mon. You can handle it!"

Rita smiled flirtatiously over her shot glass and downed the tequila, slamming it down on the table after she was done. She sucked on a lime wedge and threw that in the glass as well, eyeing the man next to her.

He was getting a little looser now, and his words were starting to slip finally. It had taken the longest time for her to even get him to entertain the idea of sitting with her at the bar. He'd been ready to get her to a hotel, but she played her cards right and forced him to change his mind when he saw she wasn't budging.

She was shocked she was even able to do it. He was the type of man that wasn't interested in getting to know women, or wining and dining them. He more or less wanted to get them back to their homes, screw them, then take off, so it took enormous amounts of uncomfortable flirting and light touches on his bicep to goad him into something non-sexual.

That was the first part of the plan she came up with on a whim, and it worked. The second part, was to get him drunk enough that she could prod some information out of him. There was a fleeting thought that this man might have no idea what was happening or know anything about Rafael and the kids being taken out in the open, and that this was all for naught, but something kept pushing her. She chalked it up to intuition.

"You can handle a lot," the man, Pedro, slurred and hiccupped, obviously impressed she wasn't leaning against the bar to try and keep from tipping over. She shrugged her shoulder and continued to smile at him, even as his hand drifted to her thigh. She fought the urge to jerk away from him.

"What are you doing down here by yourself anyway? It's dangerous for American bitches down here."

Rita kept the fake smile plastered on her face and twirled a piece of hair between her fingers, pretending to play innocent, like she wasn't trying to get him drunk and talking. "Just needed to get away. I've always loved Mexico. The beaches, the food...the men."

Pedro hummed, his hand drifting up further. Rita stopped it, hand gripping his wrist and catching his attention. He looked pissed for a moment, but turned back when another shot was dropped in front of him. He threw it back and slammed the glass down, but Rita ignored her own.

"Although…I suppose it is dangerous…with those scary cartels down here and all."

Pedro chuckled, ran his tongue across his teeth, "We're only scary if you fuck with us."

There it was. She highly doubted he even let slip that he was cartel, or maybe he didn't care. Maybe, he was trying to impress or her calm her fears by telling her that. Her eyes drifted down his arm, noting the various tattoos loitering his arms that all held the same, familiar design. The words were proud against his skin, or they must have been, if he had them tattooed continuously. She had an inkling it was the name or motto of the cartel he was part of, but he didn't seem too interested in talking anymore, as he leaned forward, invading her personal space.

Rita kept staring at him and didn't say anything, watching as his eyes trailed from her mouth, to her chest, and to her exposed legs where his hand squeezed her thigh. His mind was starting to drift dangerously towards a place she didn't want it to go.

"I don't know. Last night, those scary guys took that man and those two kids…and they were from a cruise. I mean, what did they ever do?"

Pedro shook his head, "Nothing. If the boss wants it done, then that's what's done."

Rita nodded, feeling her heart begin to race. The alcohol was getting to him the more he drank, making his lips loose, like she intended, but her confidence in getting him to speak was waning the more he leaned into her, his eyes filled with drunken desire that was beginning to make her skin crawl.

He got close enough to drag his lips across her jaw before she backed up, a split-second idea forming in her mind as she stood and grabbed his bicep. She wobbled a little, knowing the alcohol had gotten to her just a bit more than it should have, and she tugged on him, batting her eyelashes. He smiled predatorily at her as he stood as well.

"Do you want to walk me to my room?"

He looked her up and down and didn't answer. Instead, he dropped a bill on the bar and slung and arm around her waist, pulling her into his side possessively. She leaned into him, trying to ignore the stab of guilt she felt piercing her heart. If Fin saw her right now, leaning against this man who was stroking her hip and pulling at the cuffed leg of her shorts, she wasn't even sure what he would do.

Yell? Fight? Just turn away? Rita swallowed the nervous lump in her throat as they walked back towards where the store was that she had walked out of earlier…where they were set up, trying and failing still to come up with a plan. Fin would understand. Once he worked past the fact that she put herself into a lot of danger, he would understand. Hopefully, he would be happy with what she was about to do.

"Let's stop here," she pointed towards the store, seeing a few tourists exit with a few shopping bags, "I need to grab something."

"I don't have time."

Rita felt a slight bit of panic when he pulled her close forcefully, and tried to keep her from straying away from his side again. She was able to squirm away a little and turn to face him, pressing her hands against his chest and standing on her tip toes to whisper in his ear.

"Let me grab something and I'll let you do whatever you want to me."

When she landed back on her heels and ignored the spiral of nausea splitting her stomach at his vicious smile, she knew she had won this. He followed her willingly into the cool air of the store, hand wrapped around her wrist, as if he was trying to keep her from running away.

Yolanda looked at her with impossibly wide eyes as the two stepped into the shop and Rita had only a split second of eye contact with the woman to calm her before Pedro broke away from her, walking towards one of the coolers where racks of cheap wine and beer sat. He grabbed up a six pack and waved it at her. She smiled and tucked some hair behind her ear, eyeing the blue doors with urgency.

"Excuse me, do you have a bathroom?"

Yolanda looked at her slightly confused. Rita looked to see Pedro staring at her as well, and when she didn't respond, he slammed the beer on the counter and leaned forward, his growling Spanish words sending tendrils of fear through as he threatened the woman with bodily harm if he didn't answer her.

Rita looked at her apologetically as Yolanda nodded and pointed around the corner, where Rita knew there was a small bathroom, right next to the swinging double doors. She nodded and picked up a chocolate bar, throwing it on the counter.

"Could you? I'll be right back," she smiled sweetly again, twirling some hair around her finger. She felt stupid and disgusting acting this way, but it worked wonders on his drunk mind. He kept his eyes on her as she excused herself and made a show of acting as if she was unsure of where it truly was.

"Don't take long," he said after her and before he disappeared out of sight, she winked at him.

"I won't."

She quickly bypassed the bathroom door and quietly slipped into the backroom to see Fin staring at her with wide eyes, mouth open and relief flooding his face. She was quickly swept up in a hug, but she pushed away from him with an apologetic look.

"There's a cartel member out front…I think he might know something about Rafael and the kids."

* * *

 **Monday – 1:40 p.m.**

Rafael was shaking by the time the front door swung open and he tried to act like he'd just been lounging on the bed casually, and not like he had found the passageway to a room underneath the house.

He was almost positive they had heard the bed slamming into the wall, which happened by accident in his haste, in an effort to push it back exactly into place, but when Juan walked in, a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth and even more bags in his hands, he was positive that they hadn't heard anything and Rafael had successfully gotten away with something.

The kids were looking at him from the couch, unsure, and he stood up and crossed over to them, squatting down in front of them. "Watch TV. Don't talk."

Noah and Jesse nodded, and Rafael had to run his fingers through Noah's greasy hair just to reassure the boy nothing bad was going to happen. At least, he hoped nothing bad was going to happen. He was quickly learning that Juan's visits could yield either good or bad results, especially after what transpired just a few hours before.

Rafael walked around the couch and stood just in front of it, meeting the man's eyes as he busied himself at the counter overlooking the living room space. "I brought more food. Some juice for the kids. Bread. Meat. I, uh…got some pull-ups? For the girl. Got some underwear for them, another change of clothes for all of you. Shampoo. Toilet paper. Basic shit."

Rafael furrowed his brow, noticing how the man blatantly refused to look at him longer than for a few seconds. Rafael didn't exactly mind, and he was grateful that they had some supplies that could keep them somewhat clean and fed. "Thank you."

"Don't." Juan slammed the pack of juice boxes on the counter and sent Rafael a mean glare. He suspected this wasn't exactly normal treatment for their victims, but he wouldn't voice that opinion. Rafael had caught earlier at Juan's face, when he cut the camera, called off his men and let him retreat into the house with the kid's. He saw the frown and tense shoulders. He didn't like listening to the kids scream.

It was different when it was just Rafael, getting beaten and pushed to the ground with guns in his face. But the children? It must have been a split-second decision and one that he regretted.

"This should hold you for a few days until we're done. After that, we'll cut you free."

Rafael nodded, glancing over towards the bed, where he now knew the door was sitting underneath. He briefly wondered if Juan ever thought that he would find it. He couldn't be so naïve to think that the victims that were brought here never searched for a way out. Or, maybe he could be. Maybe he thought that kids being here would limit the chance that door would be found.

"I brought some of these movies, too. My daughter likes them well enough. I think they will, too."

"You have a daughter?"

Juan looked at him sharply, pulling out some of the DVD's he waved around a second ago. He nodded after a moment and Rafael didn't say anything back, mind still wandering back to the room underneath the house. He didn't have a flashlight, and asking for one would seem suspicious, and trying to think of a reason for one would likely fail. The lamp could reach a good distance, but it wouldn't work if he decided to head down there.

Rafael choked back a cough as some of the smoke from the man's cigarette wafted towards him. He bit the inside of his cheek, watching some ash fall from the end of the stick and onto the counter. Juan cursed and wiped it away, looking over at him. The man raised a bushy brow and pointed at his cigarette.

"I brought some of candles, too. Sometimes the power shorts out here and it takes a while to get it back on. In case that happens, keep these close," Juan said, taking out a pack of long white candle sticks and a matchbook, placing them on the counter by the clothes he was unpacking.

Rafael felt his mind go blank, zoning in on the candlesticks.

"Alright, I'm out of here. I'll be back tomorrow in the morning. Be dressed and ready to leave. The boss wants to meet you."

Rafael nodded, forcing his eyes away from the unexpected gift on the counter and watched the man leave the house without a glance behind him. He didn't move until he was positive the vehicle had left, and only the guards remained outside of the door.

"Uncle, I thirsty," Jesse piped up, tapping on his arm to gain his attention. He nodded at her quickly went about grabbing two juice boxes from the newly acquired items, all the while rethinking this entire situation.

It could be mere coincidence that Juan had brought the exact items he needed to properly go below the house and search, but it could also have been a set-up. The man could have been planning on Rafael finding that door under the bed, and bringing candlesticks and matches? That perfect timing was suspicious.

So suspicious, he almost thought it better that he not go through with the possibility of roaming around down there. Maybe it was better if he wait out the week. Let them do what they need so they could get home and get this nightmare over with. But, then again, how did he know that was a guarantee?

He handed the kids their juice boxes and went about sorting through the bags, ignoring the two items that sat separated from everything else. Once the food was put away, and the rest of the items were stacked along the counter, he joined the kids on the couch, grabbing one of the few books on the bookshelf to begin reading. He needed to take his racing mind of something else for a little while.

* * *

 **Monday – 1:42 p.m.**

"…What?"

"We don't have time to ask questions," she said quietly, ignoring Fin's questioning gaze. She turned back and opened the door a hair, double checking that she was still in the clear.

"Rita, what did you do?"

"Did you hear what I said? There's a member of the cartel, the one that could have taken Rafael and the kids. He's out there and he probably has more information. Go get him!"

Agent Cruz turned around and muttered something to one of the many agents set up along the wall. With a few taps on the keyboard, a clear black and white image was blown up on the computer screen of the front of the store. It was obvious they hadn't been watching the store front. The man leaned forward, audibly gasped and spun around to look at Rita. The woman looked unsure when Agent Cruz walked towards her.

"How the fuck did you lure Pedro Carrea here?"

Rita sighed angrily, knowing her time was waning. She was going to have to go back out there. She suspected Pedro, now that she knew his name, wasn't the type of man to be kept waiting. He would probably be banging on the bathroom door any minute now, demanding they leave.

"Does it matter? Go get him! We're running out of time!"

Cruz sprang into action, slipping his side arm out of the holster on his side. He looked to Liv, Carisi, and Amanda, and nodded at them. "Back me up? He's a mean son of a bitch."

Fin didn't bother watching them file out. Instead, he grabbed Rita's arm gently and looked at her, pinning her with his concerned gaze. Rita closed her eyes and swallowed, "I know you want answers, but not right now, ok? I did something stupid and that's all you need to know right now."

"Rita…"

He stopped when the commotion out in the front of the store grew loud, angry Spanish words among the scuffling brought Fin out of his daze and he pushed past Rita, telling her stay there. She almost scoffed at him, like she was going to go out there and help, but she didn't push it. Instead, she sat at one of the abandoned chairs around the table, and concentrated on the smattering of red pins sticking out of a map as the commotion grew louder.

* * *

Liv was the first to tackle the man to the ground, throwing everything at him that she could.

He caught her right in the eye, and she could feel it swelling and throbbing now, against the ice pack she held to it. She was leaned back against the far wall, next to Carisi, who had a bloody nose, but didn't sustain much more damage. Amanda, Fin, Garver, Barnes and Agent Cruz looked a little rough, with their clothes skewed, but it was a small price to pay for what they had gained.

"Fucking Pedro Carrea. Shit…you know how long we've been trying to find you? Bring you down?"

Agent Cruz had the biggest smile on his face, his pearly whites nearly blinding against his tan skin. "Jesus. Wait till headquarters hears this shit. They're gonna piss their pants."

Liv rolled her eyes as Cruz, Garver, and Barnes all exchanged a few excited words, doing nothing but pissing off the angry man that sat tied to a chair with duct wrapped around his mouth and head. Liv zeroed in on him, feeling nothing more than contempt for him. His eyebrows were furrowed over black eyes, and he was tense, almost as if he could break free from the bungee cord ropes they tied him up with.

Her eyes shifted to Fin and Rita, who were quietly exchanging heated words in the corner. Rita wasn't backing down and neither was Fin, especially after she had explained what she did. It was stupid and a very bad call that could have ended in her being raped or murdered, but Liv had to admit that she was glad the woman took the risk. She saw an opportunity and took it, no matter how dumb it was.

This could lead to something and Liv hoped it would. They were running out of time and with every hour that dwindled away, her hope was going with it. But, she was staying strong and so was Amanda.

"Can we get on with this?" Carisi interjected, irritation layering his tone. He brought the bloody rag away from his nose and cursed when he still felt the blood dripping a little, "Our window is closing and this fucker might know something."

The man's dangerous gaze slid over to her and Carisi and Liv stared back at him, willing him to try something stupid. That look on his face was making her hand itch.

"Pedro, Pedro, Pedro," Garver stepped up, and squat down right in front of him. "Got caught up in a pretty smile and a nice pair of legs, eh? Can't say I'm surprised."

Out of the corner of her eye she could see Fin bristle and Rita lay a hand on his shoulder, willing him to remain calm. Liv knew the man was close to snapping, something she hadn't seen from him in a long while. She hoped it didn't happen. They needed this guy to remain conscious.

"Oh, what was that? Are you saying something?" Pedro's voice was muffled by the tape, rendering it incomprehensible, which Garver enjoyed way too much. Liv was growing quite irritated with the theatrics and stepped in before Cruz or Barnes could.

"Move," Liv commanded, all but pushing Garver out of the way. She pulled a stray chair up to him and sat right in front of him. She fished her phone out of her pocket and quickly pulled up a picture of Noah, flashing it at him.

"This is my son. He was kidnapped at a restaurant two nights ago with my friend Rafael and her," she pointed behind her at Amanda, "daughter. Do you know where they are?"

Pedro tipped his head back and rolled his eyes, shaking his head. Even through the tape, Liv could see a hint of a smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. She pursed her lips and willed herself to calm down before she continued, "You're in the cartel that might have taken my son. We've already established that. Have you seen him? Do you know where he is? Don't make me ask a third time."

Pedro quirked an eyebrow and moved his lips under the tape, as if he was trying to move it out of the way so he could speak. Liv moved forward and ripped an edge, tearing it away none to gently so she could hear what he had to say. Once it was pulled away from his lips, he licked them and smiled at her, "Suck my dick."

Liv was out of her chair and her fist slamming repeatedly into his face, striking his nose and eyes and cheek and jaw. Anywhere she could hit him with that nice right hook she had, she did. Cruz and Garver bodily pulled her off of the man, trying to calm her down, but Liv saw nothing but red.

She rushed him when she broke free of the agents and grabbed him by the neck, putting all the pressure she could against him. His chair tipped back and his head slammed into the wall, his eyes wide as his air supply ran out.

"Tell me where they are now!"

"Olivia!"

"Liv, stop!"

She breathed through her nose but kept her hand strong and firm, despite Carisi trying to yank her off of him. Fortunately, for Pedro, there were men much stronger than her physically that finally pulled her off him, but that didn't succeed in lessening her rage. She kicked a chair out of her way and paced the room, blowing air out of her nose like a bull ready to attack.

"He knows something," she said, glancing at the man who was swallowing harshly and glaring at her. She turned to him and stepped up again, stopping when Carisi put himself between her and the man. She merely stepped to the side to see his face, "Tell us what you know."

"I don't know anything."

"Cut the bullshit, Carrea," Cruz said, his light-hearted tone from earlier gone with the excited smile. "We have you in custody. You're dead to the Knights, now. We let you out, spread the word you told us things no one is supposed to know, you'll end up dead, naked, hanging from a tree in front of your mamí's house."

"You don't know anything."

"I know plenty. Little things the Cartel doesn't think anyone would care about. Where you stash your shit. Where your safehouses are. Where you take those little girls to when you're high and wanna get off."

Pedro froze, his expression changing from one of defiance to a blank, far away, disbelieving look. The room grew deadly quiet and Liv made a disgusted face. Her stomach churned at the words.

"How would your brother react if he knew what you were doing to his thirteen-year-old daughters every Thursday and Friday when you pick them up from school?"

It was quiet for a long while after that. Pedro and Cruz stared at each other, never breaking eye contact. Liv shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair. She locked eyes with Amanda, who had tears shining in her eyes. The woman didn't need to voice her fears for Liv to know what they were. The same exact thoughts were running through her head.

"Tell us what you know and maybe that disgusting shit won't be made public when we throw you in a jail cell in Mexico City. You know how those crazy mother fuckers feel about pedos. You'll be someone's bitch in no time."

Pedro had the decency to seem somewhat affected by those words and Liv was glad. Cruz had chipped away at something, and it was enough to get answers. She marveled how such a hard man was broken in just five short minutes.

It took another long minute before the whispered words left Pedro's mouth and the hope that had been dwindling in Liv's body had come back full force with just two words. The only two words he would give them.

"The mountains."

* * *

 **Monday – 8:59 p.m.**

The kids were bathed for the first time in a few days and he was relieved to see them in clean clothes, tucked under some blankets on the couch while a movie played on the television. Rafael sat in between them, running his fingers through Jesse's hair, since that was the only way he was going to get her to sleep.

Noah had taken longer, tucked into his side as he talked quietly to Rafael, asking why this had happened and when they could go home. He had answered the best he could, but he sensed the child knew that Rafael didn't know himself, and gave up asking after Jesse started to snore softly.

He fell out soon after, spread out on the other end of the couch with his feet propped up on Rafael's thigh, dead to the world with a belly full of food and soft blanket wrapped around him. The couch wasn't the most comfortable, having sat on it for hours and getting up with an aching back when he had to make something for dinner for them.

He was going to have to move them to the bed, but first…

He had been mulling over the candlesticks and the matches all day. He forced himself to stay sitting on the couch, despite his hands itching to move the bed, throw that door open and descend into the darkness with his newly acquired items. He weighed the pros and cons, his mind constantly going back and forth all day as he moved around the house, serving dinner and bathing the kids quickly in the tub.

The cons ended up outweighing the pros by far, but there was still that little voice in the back of his head that was telling him to do it, nagging at him to just go down there and look. If he was quick and looked around, what harm could be done?

Juan said that he wouldn't back until morning, and Rafael was almost confident that those armed guards outside the door couldn't hear much of anything inside the house. They hadn't peeked their heads in once since they arrived, so the likelihood of them doing so while he was down there was slim.

He bit his lip and stood up, quietly, gently untangling his hand from Jesse's blonde locks and moving Noah's feet to the side. He walked to the kitchen and grabbed the items, looking them over in his hand as he walked towards the bed. He pulled the nightstand and bed both far away just so he could open the door. He grabbed the lamp from the nightstand and brought it down to the floor, the light shining in just the tiniest bit. He still couldn't see anything, but he could see a small ladder leading down there.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he opened the candles, the plastic that covered the crinkling loudly, but not enough to wake the kids. He sat there for a moment, biting the inside of his cheek as he looked down into the pitch-black hole. There were so many things that could go wrong, but he was holding out some hope for that 1% of possibilities that something could go right. It was a small chance, but it was there.

"Fuck it," he whispered to himself and swiftly lit a candle, the small flame enough for him.

He descended without another thought or word.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I know, I know! It's been a really long time since I've updated this, but I've been so incredibly busy! I'm not a huge fan of this chapter since I have major writer's block, but I'm glad I finally spit it out. This is a shorter chapter, but I think I'm going to try and fit the rest of the story I have planned into at least another two chapters. Maybe three. Thank you to everyone who understands that real life gets in the way of writing, and I'm grateful to everyone who reads and reviews my fics. You mean the world! Here goes chapter 10! I don't SVU or its characters. Enjoy!

P.S. I'm also working on the next chapter to Misery Loves Company! So stay tuned for that!

* * *

 **Monday – 9:10 p.m.**

It was dark and cold and it smelled old down there.

He could feel the freezing concrete through his sandals as he shivered and swiveled the candle around him, making sure he nothing was down there that could attack him. The only thing he could hear was a faint dripping noise and the soft noises of the television drifting down through the open door.

Rafael swallowed the lump in his throat, his fear threatening to consume him as he moved away from the ladder and toward the wooden structure he knew was standing behind his only way out of here. The small candle provided just enough light that he could see caked on dust and dirt over the surface, that was a vanity, more than a desk. He could barely see his reflection in the mirror, it was so dusty, but he could see the photos shoved into the sides between the glass and the wood. They were old, black and white pictures of people from some time ago, but Rafael didn't pay them much mind.

He was too focused on scouring the drawers, which were turning up nothing in return. He closed them, careful not to move anything, although he was positive no one had been down there in quite some time. It was a small space, as well. He could feel the cold stone touch his right arm as he backed into it and quickly swept to the left.

Rafael moved forward, keeping one arm out in front of him as his eyes darted all around. He stopped when he thought he heard a loud thump from up above him. He listened carefully, eyes finding the open hatch and the light pouring in through it, listening intently for the kids. He stood there for, what had to be, more than a few minutes before he decided to continue.

He took hesitant steps forward, sweeping the candle back and forth. To his left, he could see the outline of shelves that had nothing on them, other than a few odds and ends that wouldn't serve him anything. That side of the room was relatively bare and he realized, as he swept to the left where a row of dark blue covered boxes stood, just how small this little area truly was.

He moved along the crates, dipping his candle low to make sure he didn't miss anything, and stopped when the row ended. A small row of lockers came into sight as he walked further, the scent of cleaning supplies suddenly assaulting his nostrils. It was so strong, mixed with another odd chemical scent and he shoved his shirt over his nose to try and block out the scent, the same time some of the candle wax dripped onto his thumb, burning the skin for a moment.

"Fuck," he hissed and pulled the sleeve down over his other hand and switched the candle, wiping the wax away on his pant leg. With his nose covered and his dominant hand free, he held the light up the locker and touched the rusted steel around the open padlock. He fought with it for a moment as he twisted it out of the lock. It clattered on the floor by his foot, and he cursed, bending down to pick it up. In the light, he could see some candle wax drip on the floor, but he didn't bother to try and wipe it away.

He stood back up and kept the lock in his hand, using his finger to lift up the creaky trigger to swing open the locker door. It was loud in the quiet of the basement, and he dragged the candle towards the opening. At first, all he saw was a dusty, clear tarp, shoved haphazardly into the small space. He coughed as a puff flew towards him and dispersed in his face.

He pulled the candle up, pulling it as close as he possibly could to the tarp without touching the old plastic. The flame danced and flickered over the rippled material, until he hovered over the first dark, streak that looked stained into the plastic. He had a sickening feeling when he realized it looked like a dark red.

He debated for a moment, feeling sweat beginning to bead his brow and his stomach turn. He pulled the candle away and stared into the darkness in front of him, breathing harshly. Rafael stood there a moment longer and then blindly reached out to close the door, latching it shut before he moved the candle back to slide the lock back into place. He didn't want to know what he was just looking at.

Calming himself, he kept moving forward. He swept the candle back and forth, trying to swallow the fear and nausea swelling up in his throat. He was able to walk another two feet before he had to stop again, his knuckles grazing against harsh wood, and his breath caught in his throat when he moved the candle closer. The rungs of another ladder made his brow furrow.

He moved one of his feet out in front of him, shifting another box out of the way so he could come to fully stand in front of the wood. He felt a hint of fear as he slowly climbed, the wood creaking under his weight.

Eventually, he came to a stop, a little way up a small well. He could faintly here the sounds of wind whistling above him and he reached up, fingers brushing rough wood again. He pushed his flat palm above it and pressed, budging it a little. Dirt fell onto his face and into his mouth, but he just spit it out and continued to press.

He could feel his heart racing the more it budged and he cursed, beginning to use all of his strength until it finally gave way. More dirt rained won upon him and he shifted away to avoid getting it into his eyes. He could see a streak of light against his arm and his heart nearly stuttered to a stop in his chest.

He gathered himself and blew out the candle, letting it drop to the ground so he could one-handedly climb up the ladder. He carefully pushed the door open all the way until half of his body was completely out in the open night air breezing past him. He sighed in relief, breathing the fresh air and looking up at the incredibly starry night sky.

There was a way out. There was a way out and they were going to make it out of this alive. He could feel hope bloom in his chest and just as he was about to quickly climb down the ladder, he could hear the familiar click of a gun behind him and the barrel of one pressed against his head.

* * *

 **Monday – 9:10 p.m.**

They were given a list of coordinates and they'd only been to two locations, with no results so far.

They had to wait till night fall to traverse the desert land outside of the city, much to everyone's chagrin, but it was understandable. Using the natural darkness to sneak their way into potential safehouses where Rafael and the kids could be being kept was the smartest decision, but Cabo was surrounded by desert, and the list they had was almost as long as her arm.

The jeep they were in bumped and rattled along the rough terrain and her stomach was churning with every movement. Her hand held on to the door and her eyes were unfocused, staring out at the starry night sky above their heads. It was beautiful. Unfiltered.

Noah would love to go stargazing out here. With a blanket, his telescope she had stashed away in her closet for his upcoming birthday. He would be so happy. With her and Rafael there, flipping through the pages of his book of constellations. She imagined they would need a flashlight and she cracked a small smile at the image of Rafael, hunched over a book with his reading glasses on, flashlight poised in his hand and talking excitedly with Noah.

Her heart ached at the mental image being conjured up. She wouldn't cry, though. There would be time for that later, after they were done here in the desert. Hopefully, by the morning, her son and her lover would be back in her arms again.

"Nothing new."

She glanced over at Barnes, who was locking his phone and sliding it into his pocket. Nothing new meant no other videos had been uploaded today, which was good but also terrifying. Cruz didn't outright say it, but he alluded to a type of video schedule these cartels followed. The next video could be worse than the last. She didn't know how it could be any worse than a gun in her son's face, and she didn't want to dig deep to find out.

She took a calming breath at the feeling of her stomach climbing up into her throat and forced her thoughts back to the stars.

" _We've got a small house about three miles left of your position. Two cars parked out front. No bodies."_

The crackling radio up front startled her a little but she sat up at the mention of a house. She tugged on the material of her bullet proof vest and looked at Fin, who was leaned forward and looking back and forth between Cruz and his partner.

"Roger," Cruz said shortly and after a moment, took a hard left. She felt Fin's weight pressing against her side, forcing her against the door and she grunted when they were righted again.

"No bodies outside are good, right?"

Cruz looked at Fin in the rearview, barely visible in the dark car, "That could mean anything. They could be sleeping in their cars…inside the house…we don't know. We need to be cautious when we approach. They're skilled shooters."

"It's…what, us, plus the five in the other car…against two of 'em? We can drop 'em quick."

"You've never dealt with a cartel. Two feels like a thousand sometimes."

Liv's stomach churned at that. They could be inside the house. The house that potentially held her baby, Rafael, and Jesse. She shuddered to think at what that could mean or what could be happening. The way Cruz talked about them, they would do almost anything to break their victims. Even children.

"We're going to park a mile out and walk on foot the rest of the way. We have a helicopter ready to drop on the position."

"A helicopter?"

"Trust me.

Finn glanced at Liv, brow furrowed, "Won't they hear the thing and bug out?"

"It'll get there before they even have a chance to make it far. They're more likely to stay and fight rather than flee. It's our best chance."

"I don't see how."

Cruz huffed, clearly annoyed and Liv locked her hand around Finn's wrist, shaking it a little. It was a sign for him to stop talking. Liv didn't like the idea of it, any of this, either, but they were the experts in this field. They weren't in Manhattan. They were in Mexico. This was their turf, not theirs. She hated putting blind faith in people like Cruz, but she had to for the sake of her well-being. If they didn't find them soon, it was going to start taking a toll on her.

"Let them do their thing. If they fuck it up, they'll have to deal with me."

Cruz eyed her in the rearview mirror, and she made it clear with the expression on her face that she wasn't kidding. If anything happened to any of them…

"We won't."

Liv looked away from his steely gaze and continued to look out the window, her hand still locked around Finn's wrist. They rolled to a stop eventually and the lights were cut out completely, the cars turned off and the silence settling in around them. They sat there for a minute, completely quiet and motionless before Cruz turned and nodded at them, signaling it was time to go on foot.

* * *

 **Monday – 9:17 p.m.**

"You're a smart one."

Rafael swallowed the lump in his throat when he recognized the voice and he closed his eyes, emotions taking over but he wouldn't let his tears fall. All he could think about were the kids inside the house, sleeping peacefully, unaware of the danger he just shoved them all into.

"Please- "

"Shut up and get out of there."

Rafael did as he was told, albeit with hesitation. He climbed out carefully, scraping his knees on the rough dirt and standing, facing away from Juan with tense shoulders. He could hear the man light a cigarette and his footsteps as he stepped around the open trap door and faced him. The gun was against limp in his hand as Juan eyed him, shaking his head. He spoke quietly in Spanish when he did open his mouth.

"You're the first one to find that, you know?

Rafael was unsure of his own voice, so he didn't respond. Instead, he watched the hand with the gun, needing to track every movement. It would be so easy to do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing and end up with a bullet lodged between his eyes, and he couldn't let that happen. Not before he knew the kids were safe.

"We have kept a lot of people in there. No one has ever checked under the bed."

Rafael furrowed his brow and licked his lips, "How did you know I was down there?"

Juan grinned, "When I came in earlier I saw the bed was crooked. I figured you weren't going to risk checking things out until later, when you thought I was gone and Martín and Nicolás would hear you. I guess I was right."

"I wasn't going to run. I swear." That was a lie. The first thought that popped into his head as soon as he opened the door was getting the kids and bolting out into the desert. Juan knew it was a lie, as well.

"Good. Because we need to discuss some things."

Juan took another long drag from the cigarette in his mouth and crushed it under his foot, blowing smoke into his face as he did so. Rafael held back a cough and stared the man down, eyes flicking down to the gun.

"The reason why you are here is simple. We have a shipment of drugs that need to get into the United States, worth 10 million dollars. That's a lot of money, don't you agree?"

Rafael nodded and watched Juan lean back against the house. He felt like he could breathe again when the gun was shoved into the back of the man's pants again. Juan pulled out another cigarette and held out the pack to him, but he shook his head.

"It's on a boat right now, waiting to head to a port in San Diego. It'll dock around 6 p.m. tomorrow night and the drugs will be transported off in suit cases and to a hotel, where the exchange will be made."

Juan looked over at him, eyes piercing his, "And there is a problem with that."

Rafael asked why on autopilot, wanting to know why, exactly, he was being told this info. He had fully been ready to beg for mercy for the kids and his own life.

"We've been getting cracked down hard core by undercover American DEA. The last reliable guy we had just got snatched today. Questioned and snitched on our location. Well, one of them anyway."

Rafael's eyebrows shot up and he had the sinking feeling that somehow, someway, Liv and everyone else was involved in that.

"Rolando Marquez, our leader, isn't happy about that. He wanted me to come over here and kill the little girl. Then, kill the little boy, and then kill you. One-by-one, right in front of your eyes. He knows your friends were involved with that and he wants revenge."

He clenched his fists, refusing to let the fear show so obviously through his body. He shook a little as another breeze passed through and Rafael stared down at the ground, refusing to look at the man.

"I convinced him to let you all live. On one condition."

He hadn't been expecting to that, but it was welcome. Rafael immediately blurted out, "What?"

Juan ran his thumb along his bottom lip and glanced at him, "If you agree to take the shipment to the port and drop it off, we'll let you live."

Juan stood up and straight and pulled out his phone, checking the time and then looking up to the sky. Rafael watched his movements but didn't absorb it. He was still reeling from the suggestion that he be the one to take on this task and do their dirty work for them.

"Why me?"

Juan chuckled, "You're a smart man. Abogado. You look American enough to pass through on a little boat without being stopped."

"What about border patrol?"

"Border patrol down there is paid off. Loyalty means shit to half of those fuckers working to keep my people out. They get paid, they let us slip through with fake documents."

"But…I don't know how to drive a boat."

"…I'll be going with you."

"My face is probably plastered all over the news. You said it would be. I could get recognized."

"Not with a hat and sunglasses. Like I said...no loyalty."

He snuffed out his cigarette and slid the gun out of his pants again, making Rafael flinch.

"I need an answer. Yes, and we go right now. No, and you can watch those poor little kids die."

Rafael felt his stomach swirl at the possibility and without hesitation, he said yes, not daring to look at anything over than the gun. Juan nodded his head, "Good call. C'mon. We're leaving."

"Wait," Rafael stopped, "What about them?"

He pointed back at the house, but Juan shoved the gun into his face again, making him lean back a little. Rafael felt his heart rate pick up, beating against his rib cage like a drum.

"We don't have time to talk."

Rafael swallowed, eyes locking onto his, "I'm not leaving till I know their safe."

Juan's lip curled, "They're safe. Don't worry. They'll be back with their mommies before we even leave. Now walk."

Rafael hesitated, glancing back at the house. There was no reason for him to even believe this man, especially after he put guns to Noah's and Jesse's heads, after he was told no harm would come to them.

"You have my word. They'll be with their mother's in a few short hours. Does that make you feel better?"

Actually, Rafael realized, it did. Something in him told him to trust this man he who had taken them captive. Something was whispering to him to just go before he could fuck things up and get them all killed. Juan had a glint in his eye that was trustworthy enough for Rafael to move his feet alongside him, headed towards a wall of tall mountains and away from the house.

* * *

 **Monday – 9:32 p.m.**

The walk was slow and quiet, and there at least twelve of them watching their steps as they walked. The dirt crunched under their feet and they weren't allowed to talk, but Liv took comfort in being close to her detectives and these men who she had to put complete faith and trust in, even though she didn't want to.

In the distance, they could hear a chopper headed in bound to their location that was just a mile away and coming into view. The closer they got, the quieter they had to become. Eventually, they were all on the ground, crouched behind a wall of rocks, and peeking over the jagged edges to see two black cars parked outside of a shack.

It looked out of place in the middle of the desert, but Cruz said there were hundreds of these little houses that were used as safehouses, where they kept drugs, money, any and all illegal activity, and abducted or dead bodies. Countless times these places had been raided, and countless times, they had been reestablished. It was like a cancer, and the cartels just wouldn't go away.

"Chopper inbound. ETA two minutes."

They all nodded at Cruz, who had his eyes trained ahead at the house, looking for any possible movement they might miss. Amanda was crouched next to Liv, fiddling with her gun like a nervous wreck. She wanted to comfort the woman, but she was the same bundle of nerves, knowing there could possibly be a firefight outside of a shack where their children might be.

"I can't shoot this fucking thing," the blonde whispered and pulled it back, double checking that the safety was off before she huffed back against the rock and her shoulder. Liv reached over and squeezed her shoulder, receiving an anxious yet grateful look. They were all in this together. Finn and Carisi were on her other side, and they were all flanked by a few highly trained DEA agents, equipped and ready to go.

"Here it is. It's gonna get loud," Cruz said, voice already rising as the chopper swooped overhead and a large spotlight shined down upon the house. The large black aircraft expelled four men in sliding down ropes, who landed on top of the house. The loud speaker echoed loudly across the empty fields of the desert surrounding them, and Cruz stood, hopping over the wall of rocks.

Liv and the rest of them stood, taking in all the action for a moment. This was far out of the realm of anything they'd all been involved with in New York. Not in all her years had she come close to seeing this level of danger playing out, but she had to swallow her fears and follow Cruz, along with the rest of them.

Later on, Liv would credit that small moment they all took before following behind Cruz, Barnes, Garver, and the other DEA agents, because it saved all of their asses from being caught in the explosion, that sent a plume of smoke and fire hurtling into the air where the shack had been and the two cars parked out front flying in bits and pieces in every which way.

The explosion, so powerful, it knocked them all off their feet, sending Liv barreling back into a rock and knocking herself out. She had a half second of Finn's Carisi yelling in her face before it went completely black.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Ok, here's the next chapter! It's starting to come to a close! I can feel it. What's gonna happen next? I hope you guys like this chapter. Sorry it's taking so long for updates, but life. Is. CRAZY. right now. I don't own SVU or its characters. ENJOY.

* * *

 **Monday – 10:37 p.m.**

Rafael groaned when his body slammed back against the bed wall of the truck as it came to a screeching halt.

The hood over his head was scratchy and hot and the sweat rolling down the back of his head was making him desperate to remove it and breathe fresh air. He'd been in the back of this truck bed for some time now, rolling around at every turn and being jostled roughly every time they hit a bump in the road.

He was almost positive he was going to be sporting bruises all over his body by the time this entire thing was over, whenever that would be.

He muffled his pained groan as the car door opened and slammed shut and Juan shuffled quickly around to the back of the truck. He heard the bed door creak open and Juan speaking to him gruffly in Spanish, telling him to hurry. They had little time, apparently, and Rafael did his best to slide himself out of the truck blindly, with his hands tied behind his back.

"Move to fucking slow," the man grumbled and grabbed the back of his jacket as soon as he was at the edge of the door. Rafael luckily landed on his feet, albeit unsteadily and gulped fresh air when the hood was dragged roughly off his head.

"Let's go. We're running late."

Rafael looked around him as he forced his legs to move. It was dark, but the unfiltered moonlight shining down upon them and the ocean spread out in front of them made it light. It looked beautiful, as well. Like a painting. He wasn't sure why he was thinking about such things, but for some reason, all he could think about was how pretty it was out here. He wished Liv could see this.

She would love it.

The gun on the back of his neck brought him back to the harsh reality that if he didn't focus and get his shit together, he would never have the chance to see something so beautiful again. He sucked in a breath when the barrel pressed harder into his skin and he told himself to _keep moving_.

There was a large boat hitched near the shore by a man holding a rope, backlit by the moonlight. Rafael could make out a dark figure sitting on one of the seats and smoked curled in the air as he drew closer. Behind him, Juan withdrew the gun from his neck as they drew near the man, who he could now see completely. He was wearing a backpack and two holsters on either side of his hips.

"Strip," Juan said gruffly and shoved his gun in his pants. He took off the ropes holding Rafael's hands bound behind his back and gave him a little shove. Rafael hesitated, looking back at him, but was met with the barrel of the gun between his eyes.

"Now. We have a change of clothes. Can't get off the boat looking like you've been underground for three days."

Rafael nodded and slowly shrugged off his shirt, shorts, and shoes. He shivered as the breeze swirled past them again, waiting for Juan to search through the pack on the man's back. He eventually found himself in a pair of ill-fitting jeans, a baggy black t-shirt, a jean jacket and a hat and sunglasses he was to wear when they entered the port.

"Hold on," Juan murmured behind him as they stepped up to the water's edge. Rafael watched as the toes of his shoes were licked with water while Juan did something on his phone. He jumped when he heard sound from a video playing, but it was quickly cut off.

Rafael sighed when he felt the gun against his back again and he moved into the water, watching the shining water lap around the legs of his jeans the further they waded into the water. It was an uncomfortable feeling, having heavy wet denim sticking to your skin, but there was no dock here out in the middle of nowhere. He would have to deal with the feeling and keep his mouth shut. He needed to focus on staying alive. He needed to focus on getting out of this mess relatively unscathed so he could get back home to his life, his job, his apartment…to Liv and Noah and his friends.

His thoughts drifted back towards the kids, who he prayed to God were safe. He had taken Juan's word with a look that put him at ease, and left them behind in that house. For some reason, he knew the man would keep his promise to get them back safely. Something told him to trust him.

He kept this at the forefront of his mind when he climbed the ladder to the boat, half of his jeans, and both of his socks and shoes soaked completely. He watched his step as he climbed aboard and stopped at the sight of an intimidating man smoking a cigar. He had silver hair and sharp, Hispanic features. He wore gold jewelry and expensive clothing and Rafael immediately didn't trust him. He was on edge as he was forced to sit on one of the side benches of the boat, directly across from the man lounging on the other side.

"Did you send the video?"

"Yes."

Rafael kept his eyes on the mysterious man across from him, refusing to speak and not trusting him enough to keep his eyes away. The cigar smoke drifted over and assaulted his nostrils, and Rafael couldn't help but crave a cigarette just then. The stress, like it always did, made him wonder why he ever quit smoking in the first place.

"Drink?"

Rafael shook his head but a glass full of tequila was shoved into his hand. Juan glared at him when he didn't immediately drink it, so he brought it to his lips to sip at the liquid. It burned his throat. He hated tequila, but he would drink if it he had to appease these people.

"Rafael Barba, yes?"

He nodded and looked in the general vicinity of the gravelly, heavily accented voice, but he didn't make eye contact. He heard a low hum and then, suddenly, a bright light flooded his senses. He squinted his eyes and was disoriented for a few seconds until he felt a gun press against his neck again.

"You answer when you're spoken to."

Rafael pursed his lips and leaned away from the gun a little, locking eyes with dark brown ones across the way. This man was dressed in a lavish, three-piece, crisp white suit, looking unusually out of place against the faded and worn leather of the bench he sat on. He lifted his cigar to his mouth and nodded at Juan, who promptly withdrew the gun from his neck.

"How are you enjoying your time in Mexico?"

The corner of his mouth tipped up, and he couldn't stop it. It was an asinine question, given the fact that he had been abducted and held captive in a shack in the middle of nowhere with two kids the majority of the time he'd been there.

"It's been interesting."

He chose his words carefully and it earned him a chuckle from the man who had to be worth more money than the entire country.

"I'm glad you're liking it." The man threw back the entire tumbler of tequila and set it down on a small fold out tray next to him, "Thank you for deciding to help us out on our mission."

"I didn't have a choice," he said quietly, looking at Juan who stared back at him.

"Are they your kids?"

"No. They're my friends' kids."

"Well, now they owe you their lives…if you still have one after tomorrow."

Rafael looked up at met the man's dark brown ones. The little smirk on his face fell and Rafael felt cold at the sight of such a ruthless gaze pinned to him. He sat back in the seat but didn't look away.

"You're going to be doing something very important for me. You have instructions. If you think about running at any time, you'll wish you hadn't ever come to Mexico in the first place."

The man leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, "And neither will those kids."

Rafael sucked his bottom lip in between his teeth, his sudden anger flaring at the words. He felt a fire in his gut ignite at the threat, but he wisely refrained. This man, although expensive and proper looking, looked like he could kill without flinching. Rafael didn't want to test that theory out.

He dragged his eyes away to see the man who had hitched the boat climb aboard, soaking from the waist below. The man in the suit stood and nodded towards Juan, who walked past them and towards the front of the boat, where a dark clothed man sat at the wheel.

"Have a good night's rest. We'll get better acquainted in the morning I'm sure."

Rafael watched as he descended down into the small cabin beneath the boat, leaving him alone in the back of this boat as it roared to life and took off slowly, gaining momentum. Rafael looked around nervously, the farther and farther away they drove from shore. He didn't relax until he felt his shoulders slumping and sleep reaching at the corners of his mind.

He was finally able to fall into a fitful sleep, rocking back and forth on the uncomfortable bench seat as the boat sailed through the water, headed towards their destination.

He didn't notice Juan watching him the entire time, nor did he notice the determined look on the other man's face either.

* * *

 **Tuesday – 2:56 a.m.**

Rita sighed and rolled over in the bed for the tenth time in the past five minutes.

She couldn't get comfortable and her mind was racing far too fast to even contemplate falling asleep at that moment. She'd been in bed for a good three hours now, after pacing the floor and pecking at a plate of food she ordered, she finally decided to quit staring out the window every other minute and take a shower so she could lay down.

She hadn't bothered watching the news. She couldn't stand to see the video play again on one of the major news networks, that was following this story like a hawk. She didn't want to see Rafael with a gun to his head. She didn't want to see those poor children screaming and clutching to him for dear life.

It made her stomach turn even thinking about it. It was an image she was afraid she was going to have stuck in her head for the rest of her life.

She also tried to forget about the absolute bat-shit crazy plan she concocted and went through with earlier that afternoon. What possessed her to do that, she was entirely sure, but she didn't regret it. Had she told Finn, he would have never allowed it, and even though he knew he didn't control her actions and never would, he still would have argued tooth and nail until she gave in.

After another five minutes, she sat up in bed and rested against the head board, turning on the bedside lamp, bathing the room in light. She bit her lip, hand reaching for the remote. She flipped it on and was glad to see the news had moved onto another ongoing story, but she still changed the channel, settling on a local station the displayed the various tourist attractions around the city.

She would never visit here again. She was cursing ever agreeing to going on this trip in the first place. Maybe, had she not agreed and Finn backed out, so would have everyone else. They could have gone on a different trip, to Miami or maybe up to Maine. A trip to Canada? Anywhere else other than here.

Her stomach flipped when there was a sharp banging on her door and she sunk a little into the bed, eyes wide and worried when it startled her again. She slipped out of the bed and stood there, shifting back and forth on her feet, trying to decide whether to duck behind it and call the authorities or go and look through the peephole. She was cursing the fact that she had relieved the police presence Finn requested outside her door, finding their presence to be invasive rather than helpful.

There was another few sharp bangs on the door, and she was just about to reach for her the hotel phone on the table when she heard a noise that made her heart stutter in her chest.

Crying.

It sounded like crying. Like a little child's stifled cries. She could hear the distant sound of heavy footsteps and she waited until they were gone completely before she shuffled to the door. She shivered when she passed by the vent blowing cold air into the room, the tank top and shorts she wore providing no warmth.

She stopped just a few inches from the door, listening to the muffled sniffling before she dared to get closer. She leaned up on tip toes and peeked through the peep hole. All she could see was the light blue wall across, but the sniffling and muffled cries had grown louder. Her stomach rolled again as she placed her hand on the knob and gently turned it.

Heart racing, she threw it open, teeth clenched together like she was waiting for someone to shove a gun in her face or tackle her to the ground.

What she got instead, was her breath taken away.

Two sets of eyes, one blue, one brown, teary eyed and terrified stared up at her, recognizing a familiar face. Rita stood there, shocked until she dropped to her knees in front of the them.

* * *

 **Tuesday – 3:04 a.m.**

Liv woke up staring at a ceiling and it took her nearly a full five minutes to finally realize she was in a hospital, in a bed, and her head was killing her.

She was hooked up to a monitor that was beeping steadily, but she wasn't in a hospital gown. Her vest had been removed, along with any weapon she had been carrying and a light blanket covered her lower half. Her body was sore and she could see Finn and Amanda huddled together on a couch, propped up against one another and asleep.

She looked to her left, eyes narrowed against the bright light, but could see Carisi curled up in a ball on the other bed, dead asleep. He had gauze wrapped around his arm and his head, but he seemed to be sleeping calmly.

She sighed loudly, enough to wake Finn, who stood and walked over to her, eyes filled with concern.

"Hey, girl."

"You ok?"

"I should be asking you that."

Liv tried to sit up but he gently held her down, and she couldn't put up a fight. She was exhausted and she wanted to slip right back into sleep, but the memories of an explosion and fire and pain were flooding her and overwhelming her. Suddenly, a terrified thought crept up her throat and she gasped.

"Noah. Was he in there? God, please Finn, tell me he wasn't in there," she pleaded, eyes watering. Her breathing was erratic and the heart monitor was going crazy, but he grabbed her arms and shook her slightly, shaking his head.

"They weren't in there. They weren't in there. Calm down, Liv. The place was empty."

She swallowed the sob in her throat and closed her eyes, her heart still jumping in her chest. Finn patted her shoulder and shook his head. He looked exhausted as well, but she was glad both he and Amanda walked away from that bomb unscathed. Carisi took the brunt.

"Is he ok?"

"He'll be fine. We were halfway through the fire being put out before he even noticed the pain or the concussion. It's a mild one. No harm done."

She nodded and sat back in bed, relieved to hear that her son and Jesse and Rafael hadn't been caught in that explosion. If they had, that was something she would never recover from. This, she could. A little knock out wasn't going to keep her out of the game.

"What about everyone else?"

Finn lowered his head, "Cruz took a beating, but he'll recover. They lost six men…including Garver."

She briefly thought about the annoying man and found herself a little sad for Barnes. Garver hadn't been the greatest person she'd ever met, but he still put his life on the line to find their kids, and she would always remember him for that.

"President's addressing it tomorrow. Like he's gonna do something to help."

"I just want this to end," she whispered, feeling the deep sadness from before seep into her bones again. She ached for Noah to be back in her arms. She wanted to see and feel Rafael. She wanted to witness Rollins cradling her daughter to her chest.

She didn't want to be stuck in this fucking hospital bed a second longer than she needed to be. They needed to regroup and figure out-

Finn's phone jingled in his pocket and swiftly pulled it out.

"Rita," he said in the way of greeting. He furrowed his brow when she began to speak. Liv could hear her slightly from her end, and her voice was frantic and high pitched. Finn looked like he was having a hard time understanding her, but eventually, he responded.

"Room 237. Have the cops take you there…you did what? What the hell woman, I told you you needed protection," he growled out. Rita snarled on the other end, probably giving it back to him.

"Just...be careful. I know it's only two blocks, but still," he said. He glanced at Liv, who was staring at her booted feet, "I'll see you in five minutes. Don't be late or else I'm coming out after you."

When he hung up, she eyed him and he had a strange expression on his face. When she asked him what, he just shook his head.

"Thought I heard another voice when she was talking…"

* * *

 **Tuesday – 3:20 a.m.**

Liv was lying on her side now, half-awake when Rita came barreling through the door. She heard the woman's voice and Finn's stuttered reply, but she kept her eyes closed, desperate to just fall asleep again. She didn't want to be awake right now. Not with the pain in her head and the growing one in her heart.

All she wanted to do was wake up with Noah snuggled into her side, in her bed in their apartment on a lazy Sunday morning. She wanted to wake up and go make pancakes together and eat them in front of the TV. She wanted to wake up and-

"Mommy!"

Liv opened her eyes, heart coming to a near stop in her chest when she heard the familiar voice. It took her a second to slowly look over to where Rita and Finn stood near the door, and when she did, she sat up, ripping the wires from the monitor off her skin.

She sank to the floor quickly, intercepting Noah, who looked dirty and had tears streaming down his face. He looked like he had been crying for days, and just that thought made uncontrollable sobs erupt from her chest. She cradled her son to her chest and buried her face in his neck, one hand tangled in his curly hair and the other wrapped around his back.

She pulled back and took his face in her hands, looking him over while trying to utter words between her cries.

"Noah, baby," she managed and pulled him into a hug again, trying to calm her racing heart and tears still streaming from her eyes. Noah gripped the material of her shirt in his hands and held on just as tight. She could feel his tears seeping into her shirt and it was the most welcomed feeling in the world.

Somewhere, on the other side of the room, she could hear Amanda and a crying Jesse, and she didn't have to see them to know Amanda was crying as well.

Liv looked up at Rita, who was trying her best to hold back tears of her own, witnessing the reunions of the mothers and children. She looked at her with a questioning gaze and Rita just shook her head. She didn't need the story right now. All she wanted to do was hold her son and never let go.

They stayed like that, curled up on the floor for another half hour before Noah woke up from a small little cat nap he'd taken on her. Her poor baby was exhausted, and her back hurt, and she couldn't keep her mind from screaming about the fact that Rafael wasn't with them, but she didn't want to move for fear that this was all a dream.

She knew it wasn't though, when Noah pushed himself up and rubbed his eyes. Finn and Rita sat over Carisi, who was awake now and sitting with Jesse against his side, running his fingers through her hair while Amanda kept one of her hands pressed against the girl's back and trying not to dissolve into tears again.

They had been conversing quietly, thinking Liv was asleep, but she heard the short little story of what happened and how Rita came to find the children.

* * *

" _Oh my God."_

 _She gently peeled the tape away from Noah's mouth, who was whimpering at the slight pain it caused his irritated skin. He had tears in his eyes, but they lit up when they recognized who she was. Jesse was squirming against Noah's back, the ropes that tied them together looked tighter than they should have been and after she peeled the tape off her mouth, she went about quickly untying the children and ushering them inside._

" _Jesus," she muttered and got down in front of them, clutching Jesse, who had thrown herself into her arms, looking for some kind of comfort. The poor girl looked absolutely terrified as she called for her mommy, thinking Amanda was in the room somewhere. Noah looked around nervously, wiping his tears away aggressively._

" _I want my mommy," he said between shudders. Rita licked her lips and nodded, smoothing some hair back from his forehead. She wasn't good at comforting kids, especially after they'd been through a trauma like this one, but she steeled herself and picked Jesse up, knowing the girl wasn't going to let go._

" _I know, Noah. Let me call Uncle Finn, ok? He's with your mommy. They're doing something important, and I don't know if he'll pick up, but we can try, ok?"_

 _Noah nodded and followed her around the bed, sticking close while still looking around the room nervously. He bit his lip and pushed himself next to Rita's leg, wrapping his arm around her calf. She quickly hit the speed dial on her phone and prayed to God Finn answered._

 _When he did, she was surprised to hear he was at a hospital just two blocks from the hotel, and she was already making plans to throw on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and flip flops and race the kids over there to their mothers._

* * *

Liv shook her head and closed her eyes, pressing her nose into Noah's head. He shifted away and looked up at her, "I'm hungry, mama."

"We can get you something, baby. Ok?"

"Mama?"

Liv took a minute to stand up, her body still in pain, but she looked down at him as she straightened his dirty shirt. She needed to get him bathed and in fresh clothing as soon as possible.

"Yeah, sweetheart," she responded and glanced over at her detective's, who acknowledged that she was up and ready to go. As soon as they were cleared to leave, they were going to.

"Where's Uncle Rafa?"

The question had captured everyone else's attention, and the sudden heavy weight of Rafael not being there with them hit them like a brick wall. He was still missing and Liv's heart wouldn't stop the ache until he was back with them.

Her fear was more serious with him. They had proven they wouldn't kill kids, but everyone knew they would kill a full-grown man without second thought. Her stomach churned at the thought of seeing him hanging dead from an overpass. She couldn't go down that road. Not now. Not when her son was staring at her with questioning eyes filled with hope and fear.

She smoothed back his hair and smiled tightly, enough to appease the five-year-old. He didn't know that she was on the verge of breaking down again, realizing that the man she had fallen in love with could be dead or alive as they spoke. He didn't need to know that she feared they would find Rafael dead somewhere, his remains spread across a vast desert.

"We're going to find him, honey."

Noah looked down at his feet and then back up again, eyes searching hers for truth. She hated that she had to put on such a fake confidence for him, but that's what he needed right now. Noah needed to see that she would bring Rafael back to them, even if in the back of her mind she was afraid they wouldn't. But they had to.

"Promise?'

"Promise."

And she swore, she would.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Ok, we're getting down to it! This story will be coming to a close in the next chapter or two! I hope you guys like this chapter and I look forward to hearing some feedback if anyone is still interested in it! I don't own SVU or its characters. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Tuesday – 8:45 a.m.**

As soon as they stepped foot into the airport, Olivia immediately felt on edge.

It didn't matter that there were armed officers trailing ahead and behind them. She couldn't help but look around and take in every passing face that dared to look at her or her son, or anyone in their group for that matter.

Her hand tightened on the handle of the suitcase and her other pulled Noah in closer to her side. He was still sleepy, and she felt bad that she was all but dragging him along, but the private plane needed to leave in fifteen minutes. Her heart sunk in her chest, knowing that she only had fifteen more minutes with her son until they would be separated again, but at least she knew where he would be. Safe. Back in the city with Lucy and a unit stationed outside her apartment door until she got back.

Dodds had finally managed to get a message through to her, and she let him in on what was happening. He didn't fight her when she told him she needed the unit and he only questioned her a little when she told him she was staying behind in Cabo until they found Rafael. He understood that she wasn't backing down on her decisions. They were firm and set in place.

Her son was safe. She had no idea if Rafael was. She couldn't rest until he was back safe in her arms, too.

"Liv."

She glanced over her shoulder to see Finn catching up to her and she shook her head.

"Finn, seriously. I need you back in the city."

"I understand. But you guys need me down here."

"Finn. SVU is dying up there with temp detectives. I need you back in the unit and taking care of business for me. Dodds already knows. You have full control. I don't think Rita needs to be alone either, especially after what she went through."

She could see him sighing, slowly resigning himself to his fate.

"Also," she said, "I feel more comfortable knowing you're in the same zip code as Noah and Jesse. I trust Lucy enough to take care of them both, but knowing you're there brings me some peace of mind. Plus, the FBI is all over this. Chances are, they're going to want the full story and I know you can set some of the news outlets straight."

She woke up that morning the news playing softly on the hotel television, seeing some expert witnesses weighing in on the situation happening down there. Finn would let them know what the truth was, if the government allowed him to.

"Only if you're sure."

"I'm positive. Trust me."

She could feel the apprehension rolling off him in waves and she didn't blame them. They all just had a near miss, and they were banged up from it, but he would follow her orders to the T if she gave them, unlike Carisi and Amanda, who were staying to fight. Despite her threatening write-ups and desk duty for eternity, they refused to leave. It annoyed her, but she was glad Finn was at least listening.

They all walked in silence until they hit the tarmac where the private plane would board and set off amongst the Boeings flying in. The sounds of engines mesmerized Noah, who had a growing fascination for them ever since he learned they would be taking one to California to board the cruise. He stared up as one passed over them, flying low enough to see the wheels and he pointed at it excitedly.

He was blissfully unaware of what was about to happen, and she wanted to keep it that way. Not until she reached this point did she realize she was putting herself in harm's way, yet again. She smiled at his excited face, feeling her stomach churning at the idea of never seeing her boy again. It was a thought she had had experience with, unfortunately, within the past few years of him being with her. Sometimes, she wondered if putting her life on the line for her job was worth it when she had someone to come home to at night.

SVU had been a part of her life for almost two decades now, and at one point, it had become all she thought she would ever know. But having Noah? Coming home to an unconditional love that never failed to make her heart smile, even in the most harrowing of times, made her think differently.

Rafael also lent to that. The man who was all work and barely any play had shown her there was life outside of fighting crime and she had been desperate since his departure from their team to recognize that. The only problem was that she needed him to do so.

Her smile fell from her face as she thought of him. Her heart ached in her chest at the thought of him being hurt and alone somewhere. Bruised. Bloody. Was he in pain? She saw the videos. He looked terrified and out of sorts…so unlike the man she loved. They wouldn't break him, she knew. But, how far would they push him to reach the precipice?

She had lingering thoughts all through the early morning hours and the car ride here that maybe, it was time for this to be over. Maybe it was time to stop putting herself in harm's way. Her and Rafael had only started, and she wouldn't let it be taken from her. Maybe…after she found him and kissed him and touched him again, they could head back to New York and start fresh? It was a tempting thought, especially now, as they reached the sleek jet and two heavily armed agents standing outside by the steps.

Noah looked at her expectantly as he stopped on the second step. Amanda stood behind them, cradling Jesse in her arms, who was fast asleep. Finn and Rita stared down at her from the entrance.

"Ok, baby. Mommy has to stay here and wait for Uncle Rafa to come back."

"You're not coming with us?"

"No," she shook her head and moved some curls out of his face. He looked confused and glanced back at his Uncle Finn, who reached down at ruffled his hair. "I have to stay here."

He looked unsure and his fingers gripped hers harder. She forced a smile, "Lucy is going to watch you and Jesse while I'm gone. You guys get to have a sleepover!"

That perked his attention and he looked over at Amanda, who wore a sad smile. Liv nodded at her before she turned back to her son, who was seeming to come to terms with the fact that she wouldn't be going with them. She was relieved. She was relieved he didn't seem to be too traumatized from what had gone on. After a few hours of being back with her, a meal, a bath and another nap, he was almost back to normal.

She wasn't naïve to think that he wouldn't ask questions about what happened and that all was forgotten. He brought up Sheila from time to time, and even if she wouldn't give him any sort of legitimate explanation until he was older, he knew she did something she wasn't supposed to.

Rafael being with him had comforted him, she was sure. Perhaps, that was why he didn't seem so scarred from the event just yet.

"But where's Uncle Rafa?"

She bit her lip as an unexpected onslaught of tears built up in her eyes. She sniffed loudly and blinked them back, clearing her throat of the sob she had been keeping held inside.

"We don't know, honey. That's why I have to stay here. So, I can find him and we can bring him back home. Do you understand?"

Noah nodded, albeit sadly. He looked down at his shoes, examining the laces he had yet to completely learn to tie by himself.

"I don't want Uncle Rafa to get hurt."

Liv smoothed back his hair, "Don't worry, babe. I won't let anyone hurt him."

She wouldn't. That fierce protectiveness she felt for those she loved was in overdrive, along with her emotions. The overwhelming sadness from earlier had been replaced with overwhelming anger within seconds.

"I know you won't mommy. Can you tell him something for me when you find him?"

"Yeah, sweetie," she said, and leaned forward when he waved her. He cupped his hands around her ear and listened, smiling at his whispered voice. Her heart soared with love for her little boy at his words and she leaned back, promising she would tell him.

"Let's get you on the plane."

It took another ten minutes to get Noah settled in a seat next to Finn, and Jesse carefully placed in a seat next to Rita, with it reclined so she could stay sleeping as long as possible. Amanda preferred to keep it that way. Listening to her daughter cry for her as she left wasn't something she couldn't handle at that time.

The plane took off a little after 9:10 a.m., and from there, they were silently escorted into a large black car, comfortably shoved between a few DEA agents as they drove them back to the hospital room where Cruz was recovering, awake and needing to speak with them.

Liv, who was crammed into the door, rested her forehead against the window, and closed her eyes, trying to keep her focus.

They had work to do.

* * *

 **Tuesday – 9:30 a.m.**

Rafael woke up just in time to catch himself from rolling off the bench after the boat rocked a little too violently for his liking.

He sat up, narrowing his eyes into slits as the bright sun beat down on him. He was sweaty with all of the clothes he was wearing, but he wouldn't dare try and shed any of them. Not when Juan was sitting across from him, slicing in apple with a switchblade.

Rafael watched as the apple disappeared into the man's mouth and he felt his grumble in response. He didn't remember when he ate last, but he had a feeling it had been too long the way his muscles twitched and his body felt weak. Juan seemed to be able to sense this, and reached for another apple in a cloth bag that sat beside him. Rafael caught it before it could go sailing by his face and easily bit into it, savoring the juice exploding on his tongue.

"Where are we?"

Juan eyed him as he took another bite, "We have another eight hours to go."

They had left land sometime in the early morning hours, but he had no idea when and what time. Another thought came to mind. He clutched the apple in his hand.

"What about the kids?"

Juan fished his phone out of his pocket after casting a fruitive glance up to the front of the boat. Rafael could see the driver's head, but he was intently focused on the sea rather than what they were doing back there. Juan tapped a few times on the screen and then leaned over, flashing the glaring bright phone screen in his face.

Rafael felt his heart both lift and plummet at the grainy, zoomed in picture of the unmistakable forms of Liv and his friends near a jet, spotting both Noah and Jesse easily amongst them. He felt a relieved breath escape his throat. At least they were safe. Juan had kept his word and the weight of the kids' fate was now off his chest. They were safe and with their mothers. He couldn't ask for more than that.

But, that also meant that they had left for the states, and although he understood why they needed to leave, he couldn't help but feel helpless and lost. They had to still be looking for him, right? They didn't forget about him, did they? He swallowed the lump of fear and hopelessness to save some sort of face. Just in time, as the door that lead to the cabins opened and the man from the night before appeared shirtless, silver hair a mess, with a cigar between his lips and tumbler of whiskey in his hand.

Rafael bit into his apple again, watching the mysterious figure stretch and bask in the sunlight before he slid down on to the same bench as Juan and rifle through the bag. He noticed Juan sitting up to attention and the small curl of his lip.

"Sleep well?"

Rafael didn't say anything. He just continued to chew on his apple. The older man popped a few grapes in his mouth and leaned back, closing his eyes and letting his face capture the sun for a few quiet minutes. Rafael finished off his apple and, after a second, threw the core over into the water, like Juan had done.

The silence was awkward and deafening until the man spoke up, eyes still closed facing the sun, "Barba…is that Cuban?"

Rafael felt his blood run cold at the mention of his surname, but he stuttered out a quick affirmation after Juan nodded at him, urging him to speak.

"The news says you're a lawyer."

"I am."

"How good are you?"

"Good enough."

The man barked out a laugh and looked at him, blowing smoke out that dissipated in the air they breezed through. Juan didn't flinch when he clapped a hand on his shoulder. He just kept his eyes on Rafael the entire time.

"Do you know who I am Rafael Barba?"

"No," he answered, forcing himself to grow more comfortable with whoever this guy was. Rafael had a feeling he was important. Enough so, that not even Juan would dare to say or do anything to piss him off. He had been helping Rafael the majority of the time, so he felt the need to trust him.

"My name is Rolando Marquez. Notorious. I have more money than God and more drugs than you could begin to imagine."

Rafael supposed he was to be impressed by the grandiose way Rolando said his own name, but all he could do was suppress and eyeroll. He didn't care to know this man or what he had done or what he was planning on doing. All he wanted to know was his fate.

"So, what do you want with me?"

Rolando leaned forward, elbows on his knees and switched his cigar between his fingers. They all braced themselves as a particularly rough wave rocked the boat for a solid minute before it calmed down. They were moving pretty fast and Rafael wondered just how long this eight-hour time frame was going to take.

"We have a deal to make in San Diego. Since my trusted associate was taken into custody by your American agents, well, we don't have anyone else to accompany myself, or Mendoza here, on our excursion."

Rafael knit his brows together, "And you expect me to take his place?"

"Yes. Your friends are the reason why he was taken into custody after all. Interrogated for hours. Thrown in a jail cell to rot."

Rolando's demeanor had quickly shifted from somewhat light-hearted smiles to dark, cloudy eyes and a frown. He squinted as the sun bared down at him over at Rafael and held up his hand. Rafael gulped when Juan plopped the switchblade into his palm and Rolando's large hand closed around it. He brought the blade down his fingertip, pressed it lightly into the skin. Rafael bit the inside of his cheek, watching the movement with cautious eyes.

"In fact, your friends have cause me quite the headache, Rafael. Had Juan here not pleaded for the children to be safely returned to appease them…I would have killed them right in front of you. Two lives for my poor nephew, who won't see the light of day again."

Rafael tried to stay calm as Rolando stood and took a few steps towards him. The boat was unsteady as it raced through the water, but he didn't seem fazed. In fact, he seemed to have enough practice walking along a boat that was rocking along the water.

Rolando came to a stop in front of Rafael, knees knocking against each other uncomfortably. Rafael tried to push himself as far into the seat as he possibly could when the switchblade was pressed against his temple and ran down his cheek, stopping when it came to rest on his jugular vein.

His heart thudded wildly in his chest and the blood rushing in his ears drowned out the noise of the whistling wind and rushing water underneath him. Rolando bent over him, forcing him to tip his head back until it touched the metal bar, where the man had planted his hand for balance. The smoke from his cigar swirled around his face, making his eyes water.

"You owe him your life," Rolando spit out. His face was just inches from Rafael's and he could feel his breath fan over his nose and mouth. "Do everything I tell you to do, and you just might make it out of this alive, mí amigo. If you don't…I'll make sure the world see's just how brutal I can be."

Rolando leaned back and withdrew the switchblade that came precariously close to cutting his skin. Rafael only dared to breathe when the man had turned his back and handed Juan the switchblade back. He took two last puffs from his cigar before he threw it into the ocean and descended down the stairs and behind the doors where the cabin was.

Rafael, still shaken, looked over at Juan, who stared silently at him. He didn't say anything as he stood up and walked back up to the front of the boat, but Rafael felt like Juan had done something more than saved his life from Rolando Marquez.

* * *

 **Tuesday – 10:12 a.m.**

Cruz took more damage than they had, but he was a tough man.

He was wrapped in bandages, but he was sitting up in his bed despite the numerous wires and monitors attached to him, with a laptop in his lap and a few officers talking to him in hushed tones. Liv, Carisi, and Amanda filed in behind an agent and greeted him when he acknowledged their presence.

"How are your children?"

"Safe," Liv stepped forward, "They're on a flight back home as we speak. Thank you, for the plane. We heard you had it organized as soon as you woke up."

"Glad they're ok. Now, we need to worry about your friend."

Cruz turned the laptop towards them and displayed the screen that was black, with a play button in the middle. Liv's stomach sunk when he pressed the space bar and Rafael's unmistakable figure was hunched in the back of a truck, with a hood over his head and his wrists roped behind his back. The audio consisted of his heavy breathing, the crunch of rocks and dirt underneath the camera man's feet and the eerily noisy sounds of late night desert bugs and animals.

The video was only seconds long, but Liv felt her stomach churning again, "When was that posted."

"Around four this morning. Six hours ago. It's a good time frame."

"He's being moved," Amanda said, face hard as she looked to Cruz for answers. He nodded at her, dark eyes moving along the faces of the three of them. He pursed his lips, almost as if he didn't want to say what he was going to say. "Our contact confirmed they were headed back to the states."

"Contact?"

He nodded at Carisi, "We have an informant within the group. He's kept us posted as much as he could. As much as we will allow."

"Has he known about this the entire time?"

Liv took another step forward, brows knit together and her body tense. She could feel her anger begin to rise at the thought of them having important information that was withheld from their knowledge. Cruz took in her stance but he didn't hold back his simple, "Yes."

She let out a humorless laugh, "He knew about our kids and Rafael's condition the entire time, and you didn't tell us?"

Her voice had steadily risen to the point where a few agents felt the need to step closer. The action prompted her to take a few calming breaths, not wanting to be tackled to the ground in case she decided Cruz needed a few punches to the face. She curled her fists and turned around, needed to pace the room a little to let off tension. Carisi shook his head, confused.

"Why? We're over here thinking the worst and you don't tell us they're fine? Why would you do that?"

Cruz brought a hand up to rub his eyes tiredly, "Because it was too risky. Our informant works high up in the cartel, very closely with the boss. We don't go to him for information very often, and when we do, it's limited contact only. If anyone in the cartel finds out he's working for the United States DEA, he's dead and so his family. And if he goes down, they'll find out just how much we know."

"Risk or not, you should have told us," Liv said loudly. She ran her fingers through her hair, "It's not right."

"I don't care if you didn't think it was right," Cruz said sternly. "It was for your protection, his protection and our protection."

"Did you know that house was filled with explosives?"

"Obviously not," Cruz shot back at Carisi, "I wouldn't intentionally let my men die."

"Did you know our kids were going to be released to us?"

"No. I didn't know until I woke up."

Cruz watched as they all processed the information. They were unhappy, and he knew that, but it was for the benefit of everyone involved. Hell, he hadn't even wanted them involved in the first place for that reason. They all came very close to dying the night before.

"I know you're not happy," Cruz started into the silent room, "But that's how this goes. This informant is too valuable to lose. And he's probably the only one that's going to be able to save your friend."

Liv perked up at that and stepped around Carisi and Amanda. She stopped by the edge of the bed, "What does he know?"

"We can't tell you," he said once more and held up his hand to stop Liv from speaking before he could, "But you'll find out soon enough. Get changed, get some food, and be back here in four hours. We'll debrief with our higher ups and then we'll be on a flight to San Diego at 4:30."

"San Diego?"

"Yeah," he said and leaned back in his bed, "You guys are going to be working for the United States government for a few hours. That ok?"

Liv, Amanda, and Carisi looked at each other, surprise etched on their faces before Carisi responded.

"Uh…ok?"

Liv shook her head and closed her eyes, willing herself to believe that everything was going to be ok. She was pissed they weren't informed about their kids and Rafael and she was pissed the Cruz and the entire room of agents knew more than they would let on, but she understood.

All she could do now was wait and hope that they would all make it out of this alive.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I'm back from the dead ya'll with a quick update. I got stuck so hard on this story and I finally, FINALLY found my footing again. I'm super busy with life guys so I'm sorry that I'm gone for these long periods of time, but I just want you to know I appreciate each and every one of you that comments and reads my fics. It means the world to me. This chapter is a short one, but we're getting close to the end. I don't own SVU or its characters! ENJOY!

* * *

 **Tuesday – 4:15 p.m.**

They were back on the tarmac, this time with their luggage, and the feeling of impending doom resting on their shoulders. Amanda watched Liv most of the time, noticing the grim lines in her face and the frown that was ever present since Noah and Jesse left with Rita and Finn back to the city that morning.

They were all still slightly steaming at the knowledge that Cruz had known about their whereabouts all along, but they had come around to understand. The man had done them a favor, because Liv and Amanda and everyone else even remotely knowing where their children and Rafael were being kept, would have charged head first into a situation they might not have made out of alive.

There were a good fifteen agents roaming around the outside of the plane, and Cruz stood in front of it, arm in a sling and fresh bandages covering his body, but he looked like the stoic leader they had all come to notice he was over the past day. It was crazy that they had only been here for a few days with all that had happened.

Liv reached into the pocket of her jeans and slipped out her phone, seeing Finn's name light up her screen. She stopped and swiped, answering urgently and was greeted with a small chuckle.

" _Chill. They're both fast asleep on your couch. I gave Lucy about as much info as we had. She's worried."_

"Tell her not to," she said softly, grateful for the woman who had become a close friend to her, "And tell her she's getting a hefty check when I get home."

" _Already did. How are you guys holding up? What's happening down there? I'm headed over to 1PP to see Dodds as we speak."_

"I can't really say. Top secret government classified bullshit. Just know I'll be back in the U.S. in a few hours. From there…who knows." She could tell he wanted to pry for information, but he wouldn't. She had probably already said too much. Cruz had mentioned CIA checking them out and a huge fight with his superiors, just to bring them in on the mission, but she was glad he did.

" _Alright. I get it. I'll talk to Dodds and check in on the kids later tonight."_

"Thanks Finn. You're the best."

" _Yeah, yeah. Hey Liv?"_

"Yeah?"

" _Stay safe…all of you. Bring him home."_

"I plan on it."

She cracked a smile and slid her phone back into her pocket just as they came to a stop in front of Cruz, who looked them over with a grim look on his face. For a second, she thought he had terrible news and her heart slammed in her chest, but when he just nodded them up the stair and into the plane, she realized he always looked like that. She wondered if the man ever smiled, and that made her think of Rafael, because she had been convinced for the first few months of working with him that he didn't smile either. She felt tears sting the back of her eyes and willed them away. Now wasn't the time to descend into worried tears.

"Detectives. Lieutenant," Cruz addressed them and turned on his heel, climbing up the steep stairs of the jet. They followed wordlessly, handing over their baggage to a few agents who were loading up big black cartons labeled with the seal of the United States Government into the cargo hold of the jet. Their movements were quick, and it prompted all of them to pick up their pace, knowing they were on a tight schedule.

The inside of the plane looked nothing like they had expected. It was stripped of all the lavish décor and tan upholstery and replaced with black benches and all kinds of technology they weren't privy to seeing in their day to day. Liv took a seat closest to the emergency exit door and bit her lip. She realized that this operation was bigger than she had thought it was. Their sole purpose wasn't to get Rafael back safe and sound; it was apparent given the numerous pictures posted to the cork board across the aisle from her that they were after a much bigger objective.

"Olivia Benson."

She jerked her head to the right and looked up, seeing a slim woman with sharp features and dark grey hair staring down at her. She felt unease creep in upon hearing her name fall from this stranger's mouth, but that was relieved when she spotted the CIA badge clipped to the woman's blazer.

"Amanda Rollins. Dominick Carisi, or Sonny, as you liked to be called."

Liv glanced to her detectives, who were just as confused as her. Amanda spoke up, "CIA? I thought this was a DEA operation."

"This operation is taking place in the states deal with foreign dealers. All units work cohesively on an operation of this magnitude."

The woman walked to stand in front of them all just as the plane engines whirred to life.

"I've taken the liberty to get to know all three of you. Normally, we wouldn't allow three cops from Manhattan to take part in our operations, however, given the fact that one of the most notorious Sicario's in all of Mexico is sitting in the back of a heavily armored vehicle, being transported to one of the most highly secured prisons in the world because of your friend's quick thinking, we thought you could provide a fresh perspective on things."

The woman took a seat on the bench across from them and strapped in, telling them to do the same. Cruz sat down next to her and, with assistance, strapped in as well.

"No offense," Liv said, "Whatever you have planned once we get there, makes no difference to us. We just want Barba back. That's it. That's all I care about."

The woman nodded, "Rafael Barba will be returned safely and…mostly unscathed. He has been put at the epicenter of one of the biggest trade deals between traffickers in the world. Right now, there are five different heads traveling to San Diego as we speak. A little after 9 o'clock tonight, they will be holding a meeting in a suite at the Pendry. There, they will make an exchange of various goods and go their separate ways."

"What kind of goods?" Carisi cut in. "Because it must be something scary if all of you are trying to stop it."

The woman suppressed a grim frown and shook her head, "I'm afraid I can't go into detail, Detective. However, I can tell you that if these goods fall into the wrong hands…well…let's just say we won't be living in the land of the free anymore."

An eerie silence fell over the entire cabin as the plane took to the air. Liv clenched the seat in her hands and stared at the cork board of pictures next to Cruz's head. A sick feeling swirled in her stomach at what she just heard, but she willed it away. She needed to stay focused.

Once it leveled out and they were able to unbuckle, the woman smiled at them and reached out hand to each of them. "My name is Agent Annette Ridgeford. I've been with the Central Intelligence Agency for 43 years. Special Ops. I normally oversee operations of this magnitude, so I want you all to be sure that I know what I'm doing. Your friend will make it out of this alive. It's a…personal priority of mine."

Liv wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but it put her mind, body, and soul at ease. She tore her eyes away from the corkboard and glanced at Annette, who was looking at her like she could see straight into her soul. She looked away and sat back, closing her eyes as the plane leveled out in the sky.

* * *

 **Tuesday – 6:19 p.m.**

They'd been on land and sitting in this beachside motel for less than twenty minutes, but the fear and anxiety had yet to quell, despite being in the same vicinity as Rafael. Well, almost. Their informant, whoever this man was, had given them an estimated time of arrival. Liv had tried asking questions about this mysterious man, and how he could possibly know all of this, but she'd been shut down at every turn. They were protecting this guy at all cost, and she could understand why. He was close with the man who ran this whole set-up.

Ronaldo Marquez, world's biggest weapons and narcotics dealer. The US had been watching him for decades now, and only until now did they have the real chance to bust him. She could tell he'd been the center of Agent Ridgeford's entire career. The way she spoke about him, a fire in her eyes, the way her hands gripped the classified file she waved around in her face as she debriefed them spoke volumes. She wanted this guy. She wanted him bad.

It worked out that he had done all this. Posted videos of their children being scared to death, guns pointed at their heads as Rafael pleaded and begged, all for the world to see. This informant had changed the game though. Flipped it on its head. Little had Ronaldo known, his entire world had been exposed for almost a year now, thanks to their informant. He was also probably the one that kept all three of them alive and kept Rafael from getting his head blown off. Her stomach clenched at that thought.

"I need coffee," Carisi muttered. He sat across from her, next to Rollins, who was rolling her neck to try and relive some tension. Liv nodded, needing something in her stomach. She glanced over at the various monitors set up along the walls of the small room. They were in adjoining rooms, the door to the other hotel room revealing another mass of electronics. Radars, sound systems, complicated surveillance computers she could never truly grasp the idea of. They were distracting and the lights shining from them in the dimly lit room was giving her a small headache, but she wouldn't dare complain. They needed to do what they needed to do to get Rafael back.

"I saw a machine in the lobby," Rollins answered and stood up. She was trying to shake some of the tension out of her limbs. She was wound just as tight as Liv was. Carisi stood up, too.

"You comin', Liv?"

Liv shook her head and bent forward, elbows resting on her knees as she stared holes into the carpet. She heard Carisi say something about bringing her one back, and she merely nodded. She couldn't think straight right now.

It was only a few seconds after they left the room that Ridgeford dropped down on the bed where the two had been sitting. Liv straightened and allowed the small, sad smile the Agent shared with her.

"So…what's the plan? Go in, gun's blazing with nothing but a prayer?"

Ridgeford laughed, "God, no. That's always an option, but definitely not in this situation. We can't spook him. If he even suspects something's up, the plug gets pulled and your friend is dead."

She winced at that. Ridgeford was silent for another stretch of time and then, "We'll get him, Liv. I know we will. Like I said on the plane…this is personal."

"Why?" Liv furrowed her brow, shaking her head, "You don't even know him."

Liv watched as the woman withdrew slightly, leaning forward slightly. She glanced around the room, seeing just a few of her agents mindlessly working on the set-up, speaking in low tones as they discussed something that sounded completely electronic.

"Twenty years ago, I lost my husband to Ronaldo Marquez."

She hadn't expected that. Ridgeford looked down at her hands, laced together between her knees. Liv was silently urging her to continue.

"He was on a recon mission in Guadalajara. Him and his best friend Schmidt had a nice set-up down there. Informants left and right, people practically begging them to listen to the information they had to take him down. He called me on April 7th at 9 o'clock before he was set to go out and gather more intel with a couple of DEA agents. I was pregnant with my Amy then, and he would call and check in twice a day. Once in the morning, once at night, before I fell asleep," Ridgeford smiled sadly, and Liv looked away when she saw the shine of tears forming in the agents striking eyes, "I would hold the receiver up to my stomach and he would sing her a little song before he wished me a goodnight. He was supposed to be home the following week."

Liv's heart clenched at the choice in wording. _Was_.

"Two hours later, he was lured into the center of town and they hung him from an overpass with his stomach cut open and his organs hanging out of his body. And that fucker Marquez gave the order. He knew all along they were out there looking for him. The informants gave them false information and my husband, and his best friend paid the price for getting involved."

The silence that followed was heavy. The shining, unshed tears were gone, replaced by an anger that seemed to somehow fade into the worry lines creased along her brow. It was an anger that had been stewing there for twenty years, and then they came along and some twisted, fucked up way, Rafael was giving this agent the ultimate gift of revenge. And this agent was going to repay the favor by making sure he got out of this alive.

"Rafael Barba will not die today. I will make sure you see him again, Lieutenant."

Liv could only nod, releasing a shaky breath after it. They were interrupted by the door to the motel room opening, and Carisi and Rollins holding coffee cups, with a spare one in Rollins hand. They looked surprised to see the agent taking up their spot.

"Ah, good. Caffeine. You're going to need it."

"What's that mean," Rollins furrowed her brow, looking at the woman skeptically. Liv marveled at the sudden change in energy as she stood from the bed and flipped her silver hair over her shoulder. She looked back and forth between the three of them before she crossed her arms and cocked her hip out.

"How familiar are you three with going undercover?"

* * *

 **Tuesday – 7:45 p.m.**

Rafael kept his gaze transfixed on the ports they passed by. Their boat was bigger than most of the ones that were bobbed in the water, tethered by ropes to their docks, but farther down, in the distance, sat large cargo ships. Rafael spotted another cruise line further to the west, looking cloudy. The setting sun made it appear hazy and distorted. He didn't give it much attention.

He spared a glance towards the front of the yacht, seeing Rolando, clad in an all-white summer suit. It contrasted sharply with his skin tone and he looked every bit the rich piece of shit he had proven himself to be earlier. Rafael could still feel the sharp press of the knife against his throat almost ten hours ago.

He shifted in the hard seat uncomfortably and found himself growing anxious to get off the boat. The entire ride, he'd been distraught at the thought of stepping off it and into in the unknown city, to go and do God knows what, but his body hurt from sitting in the same spot, under the hot sun in heavy clothes for hours on a jumping and jostling yacht, racing across the ocean at a speed it wasn't meant to travel. He was starving, grimy, sweaty, and he had to use the restroom. Most of all, he just wanted Liv in that moment.

God, he would give anything to see her in that moment. Knowing the kids were back in New York, safe and sound, left him to worry about her whereabouts. According to Juan, they were also headed back to the city, and part of him was hurt that they didn't seem to be looking for him personally. Or, maybe they had. He wasn't so naïve to believe that they would just think of him dead and gone and wouldn't bother to try and find him as hard as they could. He was positive the entire continent was looking for him if Liv had anything to do with it, but still. Part of his mind whispered that he was a dead man, and he had been fighting those thoughts ever since that knife had been pressed against his throat that morning.

He took little comfort in the fact that he was going to be surrounded by crowds of tourists in a bit. The streets, from what he could see perched above the docks, were lined with tons of people walking, talking, riding bikes, and taking pictures. It was summer time in California. From the little time they were in LA before they got on the cruise ship just a few days ago, he could tell this part of the country was a tourist hotspot, much like New York City was all year round.

Surely, these people wouldn't do something to him in the middle of crowded streets, right? Rolando was crazy, but it was well hidden beneath that lazy smirk and white suit. Juan looked out of place standing next to the man in a beat up red button up and cargo shorts, but he supposed he also looked out place wearing such thick clothing in the middle of summer on a boat in San Diego. He wondered if that was part of the torture part he was sure he would be facing soon.

It was another ten minutes before they were actually docked, and he was roughly pushed out of the boat and onto wooden slats. Rolando stood a foot away from him, greeting two other men in dark suits and sunglasses, looking every bit of the muscle, they were. Juan and the driver of the boat emerged from the cabin underneath, dragging luggage behind him. He huffed when Juan punched him in the stomach with a heavy duffle and a thinly veiled threat not to drop it or run away from them.

For good measure, he flashed the gun shoved in the back of the man's pants and Rafael hid his fear behind a poker face he only reserved for the court room. He found the more a gun was being waved around in his face, the less scary it became. Of course, he knew that having a gun in his face could result in a very gruesome, bloody death, but Juan had yet to even put his finger on the trigger.

They weaved their way through the docks, passing by towering yachts, filled with rich passengers setting sail on a sunny day. The streets were filled with tourists and the beaches stretched out for miles along the coast. The dock workers moved past them without contact and Rafael wondered just how many of them knew who Ronaldo was. He guessed a good number of people who populated these boats knew him. Old, rich, white men waved at him from the balconies of their yachts, cigars poised between two fingers and young women dripping gold pressed against their sides. Rafael kept his head down and resisted the urge to wipe the sweat trickling down his face. Even at this hour, with the darkening sky and lowering heat, it was still stifling to be walking around in thick jeans and a jacket.

When they made it up to the bustling street corner, they were immediately met with a stark white limo that looked far too clean to be driving around in the hot California sun, so close to the beaches. He was ushered into the back and pushed over into the corner, right next to the privacy glass that was up and blocking the view of the driver.

"ETA…ten minutes. We're still waiting on Sokolov and Nakamura. Everyone else is there."

Ronaldo hummed and accepted a shot glass of tequila, downing it seconds later without hesitation. He handed it back and took the offered tumbler of some amber liquid. Rafael guessed it was whiskey, and his mouth watered for a glass of it. Anything, to take off the edge. Juan, seconds later, passed him a bottle of water, and he readily took it, needing something to wet his dry throat. It had been a while since he'd had something of substance to eat, but his stomach was in knots as the limo pulled out into traffic. The thought of food was the farthest thing from his mind.

"Dinner is at 8:15. We'll make the exchange at 10 o'clock. From there, we have the presidential suite until 9 o'clock, and the boat will leave at 9:30. You'll be back in time for the meeting with Baez."

"Mmm," Ronaldo hummed, sipping from his glass. He lifted the sunglasses from his eyes and shoved them into his hair, staring straight ahead at Rafael. He wanted to squirm under the scrutinizing stare, but he didn't dare move. He met his eyes briefly before he flicked them back to the moving city outside.

"Are you a good actor, Mr. Barba?"

Rafael locked eyes with him and shook his head after a few seconds of silence.

"Let me give you a few tips," Rolando chuckled and sipped from his glass, "When I say jump, you jump. When I say move, you move. When I tell you to shoot somebody, you shoot. You do what I tell you to do and maybe I'll think about letting you go home. But if you try to run, I'll cut your head off and hand deliver it to Lucia."

His eyes widened, and his throat went dry, mouth opening with an uncontrolled gasp at the sound of his mother's name. Rolando's smirk grew wider on his face, eyes betraying nothing but truth behind his words.

"216 Holland Avenue, apartment 3B, Bronx, New York…does that sound right?"

His stomach sank further, strengthening the nauseous feeling in his stomach he'd been able to suppress thus far. He could feel sweat beginning to form on his brow and he licked his lips, desperate to stutter the plea begging to leave his mouth.

"Please."

"Do as I say…and the men I have posted outside her apartment leave like that," he snapped his fingers, the hard sound burrowing fear deep inside Rafael's chest. He could only think of his mother, sitting alone in her apartment, crocheting that fucking sweater she's been working on for ages for him despite his protest. Endless, uncontrollable thoughts swirled through his mind as he looked out at the passing scenery.

If they knew where his mother lived, they had to know about Liv. Or the kids. Or everyone else in his life. They did their homework on him.

"Don't make me dirty my hands, Mr. Barba."

He didn't want to think about what he meant by that. He rested his forehead against the cool glass of the limo, swallowing the bile in his throat, resigned to his fate as they neared their destination. If he said jump…he would do it.


End file.
